Bigstuph Blog – Thoughts from Steve

Over the last couple of years I have been working in my head what it means to follow the “narrow road”. In Matthew 7:14, Jesus said, “But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few will ever find it.”
I have been really working through this in my head. After reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and Radical by David Platt, along with countless hours in the word of God, I am concerned about how narrow my path really is.

The American dream is in direct contrast to the Gospel message, and yet everyday I feel like I give the majority of my time to the American nightmare.

My wife and kids have made a conscious decision to lighten our dependence on worldly possessions, and yet I don’t feel like my life is difficult. Despite the typical worries of running a business, paying bills, and keeping my head above water, I live a pretty simple life.

I usually take two showers a day, I eat what I want, when I want it, and I usually go back for seconds. As we burn away our dependence on worldly possessions, I still feel like my “moderate” standard of living is still somewhat excessive.

I want God’s eyes. I want to walk this narrow road with the few that God has placed in my life. Something tells me that what I envision as narrow, and what Jesus illustrated are two different things. For the most part people like me. I very rarely feel isolated or persecuted. Although I do feel crazy sometimes as many of my friends have told me that you can’t take Jesus’ words literally…such as love your enemy, bless those that curse you, turn the other cheek, etc.
Jesus may your ways become my ways. May my image of the narrow road be the image that brings your glory in my life.

I love Thursdays! My 12 year old daughter Kassie and I get to have our “daddy-daughter” date over breakfast every Thursday. A couple of weeks ago, as we were driving to our favorite breakfast spot (Bubbalou’s), we were having a conversation about worry.

I asked Kassie, do you remember when you never worried about anything? She laughed and said, “Those were the good ole days.” We talked about life as a “kid” (as opposed to a young woman of 12…almost 13:). As a kid you are completely dependent on your parents, and at the same time completely content on that dependence. You worry about nothing. I remember saying to Kassie, “Remember when all you had to worry about was whether you wanted Grape Jelly or Strawberry Jelly on your PB&J. She laughed, as she said “yeah…those were the good ole days.”

As we sat down for breakfast and ordered our food, our conversation continued about how amazing it would be if we completely depended on God and lived with total contentment in that relationship.

My daughter is amazing. I often tell her that when I grow up, I want to be JUST LIKE HER. Her faith and reliance on God is amazing. She loves God with every fiber of her being. She loves reading His word, and she always reminds me that God is in control. Almost daily she texts me or calls me to give me the verse God laid on her heart for me. What an inspiration. Oh to be like Kassie.

Once the food arrived, she blessed the food (I love to hear her talk to God), and she immediately handed me her bacon (this is our routine), and dove into her French Toast. As she was eating, I shouted, “Oh NO!” and she immediately responded with “What’s wrong Dad?”. As she looked at me she saw me staring at the two servings of Jelly that I had strategically placed in front of me. I then elaborated, “I don’t know if I can handle this!”. “What should I do?” At this moment I was using the best drama skills I could muster as I was trying to decide between grape and strawberry jelly. Once she saw the jelly dilemma in front of me, she squealed in laughter. I thought she was going to wet her pants. It was hilarious.

As a result I snapped the picture on my iphone, and recorded this day in my mind for eternity. God, bring me back to the day where my PB&J decisions are the only things that I worry about.
Jesus commanded us not to worry…Today I want to find complete contentment in my dependence on God.

As much as I want life to evolve around me. Today I realized it does not! Over the last few weeks I have been asking the question, “what does it mean to deny myself?” In order to follow Christ I need to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him. I call myself a Christian, but am I following Christ?
Today it hit me like a ton of bricks. God’s will is opposite of My will. In order to follow Christ, I have to surrender EVERYTHING. My selfish will is built around what I want, how I want the world to see me, as well as how I can control my world.
I am “out of control”. I never have been in control, I just think I am. In order for me to live out my Christian walk, I have to start by denying myself. In order for God’s spirit to work through me, I must deny myself.
Until I deny myself, I am only fooling myself. Today I surrender. Tomorrow I must start over.

What started as a small company initiative at Stuph Clothing has grown to something we never imagined.

In April of 2009 I picked up a package of the Kids Against Hunger meal package while I was in Haiti at the Hands and Feet Project. In November 2009, we opened up our Stuph Clothing offices to become a packaging satellite for Kids Against Hunger. Every morning at 7:59 we gather as a staff to package 864 meals. This daily routine is what helps us focus on leveraging our resources to Change This World.

Little did we know that the 40,000 meals we packaged in November and December would be needed in such a HUGE way once the earthquake hit Haiti in Mid January. Since the devastating earthquake, our Change This World, Inc. non profit, in conjunction with Kids Against Hunger has packaged nearly 400,000 meals and shipped them off to Haiti.

Initially, as a staff at Stuph Clothing we had committed to packaging 350,000 meals in 2010. We decided that every shirt we sell, we will set aside $.25, which provides a meal and safe drinking water. Our partnerships with Kids Against Hunger and Hay’s Pure Water For All Foundation became the foundation in which we would build our Change This World, Inc. initiative.

We had the opportunity to have a 60 day dress rehearsal before we needed to be mobilized to action. In 2010 our satellite for Kids Against Hunger will package 6,000,000. Father, I pray for your direction, blessing, and wisdom as we leverage all we have to Change This World. To God be the Glory.

In 24 hours we had 60 volunteers come together

This year two words come to mind as I look to set goals.
Dependence and Contentment

This year I want to be content and completely dependent on God. Interestingly enough these two characteristics are somewhat “childlike” in their origin.

Lord, Help me to be childlike in my ways in 2010

Here is a thought.

What would it take for YOU to never lose faith in God? I have been chewing on this all day. I have seen so many miracles over the last six months as we have launched our Crazy Love in Action ministry. Our ministry is dedicated to identifying those that are idealistic in their faith, empower those that are idealistic (through a social network of like-minded people), and mobilize this group to action as they become the hands and feet of Jesus.

This ministry launch has been under attack since God began to shape it in our hearts. Francis Chan’s book, Crazy Love is just the beginning of where we want to take this ministry. Our goal is to shake up the American Church. Please pray for us to stay the course.

The question of what would it take for us to not lose faith in God? If Jesus Christ himself came into my room, and woke me up and then spent 30 minutes telling me about creation, walking on the earth, and staying focused on the tasks at hand – Would this be enough to never make me doubt my Lord? God has delivered in such amazing ways over the last few months, and yet I forget so quickly how good God is and how much He loves me.

God, forgive me for my lack of faith, and for not trusting you, the creator of EVERYTHING.

Please pray for our ministry, www.crazylove.org
We want to shake up the American church.

If you want to help, let us know.

My faith has always had bumps in the road where I lose sight of simplistic nature of how God wants me to trust Him.
Every time that I get in these “funks” I usually find my way out after talking to my 11 year old. She is one of the most godly people that I know. She loves the Lord, but her faith is enormous.

Everytime I have a tough decision to make, I go to her and ask for her opinion. And usually she points me to a simple question – What will make God happier? She believes that God’s way is the only way. She also believes that God can do anything. She also has seen her guardian angel on many occasions. She in many ways points me to God in all she does.

Matthew 18:3-5 (New International Version)

3And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5″And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

I need to become like a little child to enter the Kingdom. No longer will I look at what is safe, or prudent, or better off for me and my family. I want to look at what is going to make God happier. I love my sweet daughter. She is a spiritual giant.

Yesterday was a weird day.

Since my childhood I have accrued some baggage that makes me look at the world and consequently God in the wrong way. We all have baggage, but if you don’t deal with it, you end up having to haul a bunch of things around that slow you down in life. These bags make it hard to travel on life’s journey.

Yesterday I sat and wrote out all my messed up perspectives. As children we are sometimes “marinated” in these false or harmful perspectives. I am not one to blame my past for the mistakes I make today, but I certainly can see patterns in my life that are consistent.

I want to be free of my baggage. Yesterday, I shared ALL of my insecurities and skewed perspectives with my 18 year old son. In someways it was a real risky proposition. Up until this point I have always tried to be STRONG in his eyes. This false bravado is the opposite of true authentic vulnerability. My son graduates in less than 3 weeks, but I felt “lead” to show him the real broken me.

I don’t remember the last time my son and I had a real life conversation that lasted an hour. Maybe when he was still a small child and hung onto every word that I spoke. Over the last year I have watched him grow into an adult and one that is in a passionate pursuit of God.

I let him read my deepest insecurities and frustrations that have shaped my life. I showed him my crazy world that I live in everyday. When he was done reading he began to minister to me in a way that no one else could. He started by saying, “Dad, I understand what you are going through.” He went on to give me advice on how to fight against the attacks of the enemy. He encouraged me to be a warrior, and yet love those that hurt me in a supernatural way. We talked a lot about The Matrix and Braveheart, and Lord of the Rings Trilogy. My 18 year son laid out an action plan that can change the world – at least MY world.

Initially I felt guilty for relying on my son who is searching for life’s path as he prepares to head out into the “real” world. When we were done talking I felt as though I had a lot less baggage in my life. As importantly, this morning when he went off to school he looked me straight in the eyes and told me he loved me. I don’t remember the last time my son looked me in the eyes with such affection and love. Today I am a warrior. My son reminded me who I am in Christ, and that we wrestle not against flesh and blood.

I will never be the same.

I am sitting in the airport in Fort Lauderdale, waiting for my wife (heather), and my son Josh to fly in from Orlando. I just arrived an hour ago when I flew in with Will McGinness from Nashville. I am flying to Haiti for the first time tomorrow morning for a chance to see what Mark and Will are doing with Hands and Feet. This is a ministry started by the guys from Audio Adrenaline that serves orphans in Haiti. They have a children’s village that is changing the world in that region.

For years my wife and I dreamed of the opportunity to come to Haiti and find a ministry that we could partner with that was making an impact. In 1986 my wife’s dad passed away in Haiti when he was serving as a short term missionary. He was rebuilding a roof on a church and fell and tragically died on his trip.

My wife and I are so excited to get a feel for what her amazing dad experienced before he died. He was only 46 years old when he died, but what a life he lived. Hundreds of people were impacted by the life and tragic death of this amazing man. Tomorrow we step foot in a land that has in some ways has become forgotten. What can we do to make an impact? We can tell our story and let God do the rest.

Tomorrow is LONG overdue. Dear God, Bless our efforts to impact your kingdom.