Police in Portland, Oregon were called to a Toys-R-Us Wednesday night because some douche was assaulting people with a toy lightsaber. Hilarious.
You may be asking yourself why this guy is my Hero of the Moment. I’m getting there.
By the time police arrived on the scene, the deranged toy-lightsaber-wielding attacker was now assaulting folks out in the parking lot. The police attempted to subdue the man, but he started swinging his plastic “elegant weapon from a more civilized age” at them.
Having no other option, the police attempted to use a Taser gun him. The first shot was described as ineffective, but no reason was given as to why. The incoherent maniac deflected the second shot with the lightsaber. I’ll say that again to ensure it sinks in: the incoherent maniac deflected the second shot with the lightsaber.
How fucking cool is that?
Foregoing the Taser route, the police then decided to overwhelm the assailant with numbers. They finally wrestled him to the ground and handcuffed him.
I certainly don’t condone beating the crap out of people with a toy lightsaber, but being able to deflect a Taser shot with a toy lightsaber is ridiculous. And for that, crazy-toy-lightsaber-attacker-guy, you are my Hero of the Moment.