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Things I Should Not Be Subjected To

Things I should not be subjected to: Body odor

Yeah, it was THAT bad.

Have you ever walked by a person and a second after they pass a noisome stench bitch-slaps your olfactory glands?  A smell so bad that your eyes water and your lungs threaten to strike?  A funk so mephitic that it drops flies?  That happened to me today.  To make things worse, it was blatantly obvious that this person was not wearing any antiperspirant as evidenced by the huge pit-stains on that person’s shirt.

Do people with body odor just not realize how awful they stink?  Why is that grown-ass adults do not wear deodorant?  I mean, does walking in that malodorous cloud all day make them immune to their own putrid odor?  Or do they just not care that they smell so foul that any glass that is in a 5-foot radius of them melts?

Furthermore, how do you politely tell said person that their utterly noisome aroma is raping your gag reflex?  I didn’t want to say anything to this person before because it just seems rude to tell someone that they smell like they’ve been swimming in a flooded landfill for 5 hours.  But now that I think about it, it’s even more rude to walk around smelling like that.  I literally had to hold my breath each time this person came by otherwise I would choke on the very air I was trying to breathe.

You know, I don’t recall ever having to take a personal hygiene class when I was in school, but I don’t think it would hurt anyone to add this to every school’s curriculum.  The amount of people who neglect basic hygiene nowadays confounds me.  Simple things like brushing your teeth, washing your hair, or putting on some deodorant.  Or, you know, taking a fucking shower.

Do these people not ever want to get laid or are there people (way) out there that aren’t bothered by this loathsome smell?  Body odor has a very distinct scent and I’ve never met anyone who isn’t completely disgusted by it, so I therefore wonder if people with BO worry about scoring or are there other people out there with the same repulsive snuff that don’t notice this horrible, horrible noisomeness.

Is this their logic? Or are they just too lazy to bathe?

Conversely, how do those of us that actually bathe and use those neat little roll-on sticks smell to those who are perpetually surrounded by fumes, a la Pig Pen?  I wonder if they are offended by a savory fragrance?  Do they rant about those of us who go out of our way NOT to peel paint off walls with effluvium emanating from our bodies?

I digress.  Please people, it literally takes seconds to apply antiperspirant to your under arms.  I know, because I do it every day.  And guess what?  I don’t smell like Sasquatch fucked a tuna fish.  Trust me, that is something you DON’T want to smell like.  Oh, and take a shower while you’re at it.  And wash your hair.  And maybe even comb it…

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4 thoughts on “Things I should not be subjected to: Body odor

  1. This seems to be a big problem at our local Wal-mart. Just to cover my ass: I am not saying that Wal-mart is responsible for the body odor. Or, am I?


    Posted by lorrelee1970 | January 10, 2012, 11:24 am
  2. Crack me up but its so true


    Posted by Chantel | May 9, 2014, 9:23 am

We don't tolerate scum.

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