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Thoughts from the Throne

Thoughts from the Throne: The ever controversial toilet seat

A word to the wise:  Always look before entrenching yourself upon the throne.

Armed with these wise words, I discovered this morning that some fellow pissed all over the toilet seat in the men’s room.  Had I not looked, I would have been sitting in a puddle of piss.  That would chapped my ass, both literally and figuratively.

Look, fellas, as a fellow man I know that it’s drilled into our heads from the time we’re potty-trained to leave the freakin’ toilet seat down.  For some reason, it’s extremely hard work for a woman to look before she sits down to do her business.  Seriously, guys, I know we don’t want to piss off our women, but that doesn’t mean you should be pissing on the toilet seat.  Lift the damn thing up before  you piss for Christ’s sake.

When I really gotta go, I don’t want to waste valuable time cleaning the damn seat while also trying to maintain my slightly inadequate penguin walk.  I want to be able to walk in, sit down, and get right to work.

So hook me up, fellas.  Lift, then pee.  It’s a simple enough concept.  Then, if you must because your other half demands it, put the seat back down.  Blissfulness can then reign.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

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About Twindaddy

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6 thoughts on “Thoughts from the Throne: The ever controversial toilet seat

  1. You’ll never regret looking, but you will regret getting your ass completely soaked by either toilet water or piss.


    Posted by edrevets | March 3, 2012, 7:38 am
  2. Twin, I have to say, that sucks. But simple fact is, always check before you plop down. I live alone and I check!


    Posted by Anonymous | March 3, 2012, 8:22 pm
  3. Yeah, I always lift the seat and then put it back down. Except I put both the seat and the lid down. If I have to work at pissing, then so does she.


    Posted by beefybooyawn | March 3, 2012, 11:55 pm

We don't tolerate scum.

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