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Random Thoughts: 6/2/2012

  • Looks like the Saints players who denied the existence of a bounty system in New Orleans were lying.  I love how they’ve all been proclaiming their innocence since they were all suspended.  Like the NFL would suspend without solid proof of wrong-doing.  Idiots.
  • A survey of 1000 idiots people has found that 20% of people urinate in public pools.  Setting aside the fact that you would deliberately piss in a pool that other people are swimming in, why on earth would you piss in a pool and then continue to swim in it? 
  • There is apparently a new Star Wars video game in the works dubbed Star Wars 1313.  It’s a bounty hunter game set in level 1313 on Coruscant.  The game is supposed to explore the darker side of the Star Wars universe and may (I doubt it) have an M rating.  This sounds too good to be true.
  • When asked who should play him if a movie were to be made about his life, Bill Clinton went with George Clooney.  He then picked Meryl Streep to play Hillary.  So when Bill cheats on Hillary in the movie, you’ll still nod your head in agreement and think to yourself, “Look who he married.  I don’t blame him.”
  • If you’re interested in learning the ingredients of “bath salts,” the “new LSD” as it is called, click on this link.  Bath salts is believed to be the catalyst of the recent “zombie” sighting in  Miami, Florida, where a 31-year old man attacked another man and ate half of his face.  Authorities still have not ascertained why Mila Jovavich did not intervene.
  • A fine gentleman in Cleveland was handed a $344 citation for littering when money he was attempting to give to a homeless man fell to the ground.  Stay classy, Cleveland.
  • Axl Rose’s doucebaggery knows no bounds, evidently.  You are apparently not allowed to wear Slash t-shirts at a GNR concert.  Some poor chap who attended the GNR concert at London’s O2 arena was forced to remove his slash shirt prior to entering the arena.  To top it all off, Axl showed up an hour late.  What an ass.
  • Christina Valdez, the mother of the child who received the Catastrophe Award, tries to defend herself by saying she’s there for her children 24/7 and that she knew of 3 or 4 assignments that her child didn’t complete because she didn’t write them down in her book.  She says she only wanted an apology from the school for their “humiliating” award.  Yeah, well, in 10 years your daughter’s going to want an apology from you for failing as a parent.  Shut up about the award already and raise your child.
  • Some high school students in Mink Creek Idaho had their video camera recording one day and recorded what may have been the mythical Bigfoot. Upon closer inspection of the video, however, experts deduced that it was merely Rosie O’Donnell.
  • Heath Campbell, an idiot who named 3 of his 4 kids after prominent Nazi figures (including one named Adolf Hitler) had his children taken away from him in 2009 for merely naming them after members of the third Reich.  Now, I don’t condone naming a child after Hitler, Himmler, or any of the other idiots that tried to take over the world in the 1930’s, but to take away children from loving parents, however idiotic they may be, seems unconstitutional to me.  Do we take children away from parents because they’re racist?  Because they hate gays?  Because they let them listen to Justin Bieber?  No, we don’t.  If this guy wants to be a Nazi and teach his children to be Nazis, it’s his constitutional right to do so.  As long as he’s not neglecting or abusing his children, the court has no right to take those children away. 
  • The Defense of Marriage Act, passed in 1996, has been found unconstitutional by a federal appeals court on the grounds that the federal government has no authority to define a state’s definition of marriage.  What this means for gay marriage is anyone’s guess.
  • These are the type of stories you should see on the news.  Not some bullshit about another murder or robbery.  Not news piece designed to inspire fear and promote conspiracy theories.  But this:  A 9-year old boy who won a family vacation to Disney World gave it a girl whose father had just been killed in Afghanistan.  What a classy kid.  How many of you would have done that?  Then, the Disney Company awarded this child’s family with an all-expense paid trip for his generosity and the kid is going to find another military family to donate the trip to.  I bow before this kid’s greatness.
  • An Al Jazeera documentary, Songs of War, alleges that detainees at Guantanamo Bay were tortured by having to listen to Sesame Street songs on repeat for days on end.  My first reaction to this was to laugh uncontrollably for about a minute.  My second reaction was to realize how fucking cruel this is.  Could you imagine having to listen to Elmo’s Song for days on end?  Cruel and unusual indeed.
  • Guitar Pee?  Yes, please.

  • NYC Mayor Michael Bloomburg plans to propose a ban on sales of sugary beverages larger than 16oz.  Just how far into our lives does the government plan to reach?  Isn’t taking choice away also taking some of our freedom away?  Look, Bloomberg, if you take away soda people are going to find something else to shove in their pie-holes.  Why don’t you find something productive to do with your time instead of this giant sack of suck?
  • Another day, another Christian preacher who wants to kill gay people.  What the fuck is wrong with these guys?  Is there an 11th commandment I don’t know about?


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4 thoughts on “Random Thoughts: 6/2/2012

  1. Your random thoughts this go around completely rock. Let me start it off by saying that “Authorities still have not ascertained why Mila Jovavich did not intervene.” is comedy gold.

    I really don’t know where else to go though, as the whole article was good and on point. Thanks for sharing the news about the kid and Disney, that’s good stuph there. Like you said, no news outlet would tell of that because it’s good, and that’s sad. And why people still support Axl Rose is beyond me.


    Posted by beefybooyawn | June 2, 2012, 6:35 am

We don't tolerate scum.

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