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When It Rains It Pours

When my wife and I decided that we were going to salvage our marriage after splitting up for roughly three months, we came up with a plan on how we were going to accomplish this.  See, she had moved in with her parents when she left and after about a month and a half, I moved in with a friend because I couldn’t afford our place alone.

Upon deciding that we would stay together we decided that she would stay with her parents and I would move in with my dad so we could both live rent-free and pay off all of our debt before we moved back into our own place again.

Little did we know that life had other plans.

My wife has recently been diagnosed with Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). This, coupled with being diagnosed with endometriosis when she was a teenager, prompted her doctor to suggest a hysterectomy.

No problem, right? She’ll take a leave of absence and use her short-term disability for income while she recovers.


FMLA only covers workers who have been on the job for a year. My wife has only been at her current job since April. So they decided that instead of letting her have two unpaid weeks off of work that they would instead fire her. Although, they aren’t “firing” her. They consider her to be resigning since they told her she couldn’t have the time off. So since she’s chosen her health over her job, she’s also chosen to resign in their eyes. Nice.

Hasta lasagna. Don’t get any on ya!

It’s bullshit if you ask me, but apparently her employer has the legal right to do this. It’s a really nice way to show appreciation for an employee they had, just as of two months ago, given a stellar evaluation, isn’t it?


So that is awesome.

Then, I find out that my dad and his wife are having marital troubles. The night of Thanksgiving. As bad as a feel for my dad that he and his wife are having difficulties, I can’t help but wonder: is this because I’m living there? What happens if they split? Do I have a place to live? Will I be subjected to loud and bitter arguments? Will my children and I be in a home filled with hostility?

Will this be the scene I come home to one day?

The shitty part is that the only place I have to go right now is my in-law’s place. Because of my wife losing her job, I can’t afford to get even a cheap apartment because of joint bills that need to be paid. We are working over her parents, but they don’t want my children and I there. I get it. They’ve got their own place and life and don’t want us intruding on it, but if they don’t help I might be up a creek without a paddle. Due to the economy and the scarcity of jobs, no one else in my family is in a position to help me.

So I’m at a loss right now of how to plan my future. I’ve never faced such uncertainty. I’m sure we’ll get through it but how we will mystifies me.

I haven’t the slightest clue how to proceed.

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22 thoughts on “When It Rains It Pours

  1. Have her get a second opinion; there are often alternatives to surgery. And NEVER EVER get surgery without a second opinion.

    And then I’d check with an employment lawyer, actually. Being sick is not grounds for dismissal.


    Posted by Elyse | November 28, 2012, 5:29 pm
  2. Wow, That’s so awful. I’m sure all will work out. Glad you and the wife have decided to work things out. Maybe she can hold off that hysterectomy for a while with some other type of medical help. I’ll be rooting for you both. I agree with your previous commenter. On both points.


    Posted by thecheekydiva | November 28, 2012, 5:50 pm
  3. Yeah, that sucks. Same thing happened to my wife. She had a cyst on her ass and could barely walk, let alone sit. She had a job sitting for 8 hours. Finally she had me take her to the ER because the pain was too much. While there, she called her work to tell them she was at the hospital. They told her it was fine as long as she brought in a doctor’s note. The next day she went to go to work with the note and they had fired her for missing her shift.

    Good luck man, if I could help in any way I totally would, but unfortunately I can barely help myself right now.


    Posted by beefybooyawn | November 28, 2012, 7:51 pm
  4. My sister was “Employee of the Year” last year and now fired after 18 years. She was grandfathered in for benefits and higher pay, so they made up new outrageous job duties and when she didn’t meet them…bam. Hired someone for 7 bucks an hour to replace her…unfucking believable.
    As for your wife is she eligible for assistance? The fact that you’re living separately may actually work in her favor. I know people feel awkward about this, but sometimes it’s necessary to get through the rough patches. A hysterectomy is a serious operation, with a lengthy recovery. I’ll keep you both in a positive light for peace of mind and healing.


    Posted by Life With The Top Down | November 28, 2012, 8:18 pm
    • I don’t know if she’s eligible for assistance. They’re letting her work until the day before her surgery so she can’t apply for anything yet. But once she’s unemployed she will.


      Posted by twindaddy | November 28, 2012, 9:25 pm
      • Oh, isn’t that nice of them…dear lord. I hope it all works out for you, I really do. I think she should get another opinion, just to see if there is an option that would buy her time until April.


        Posted by Life With The Top Down | November 29, 2012, 4:49 am
        • If she wasn’t suffering so horribly right now she probably would. As it stands right now she just wants it over with. Our son is almost 2 and she’s been dealing with this ever since he was born. She’s tried multiple treatments and the only sure thing her doctor knows to do to fix this is the surgery.

          It sucks about the job, but I just don’t want her to suffer any more. We’ll figure out the rest.


          Posted by twindaddy | November 29, 2012, 8:28 am
  5. Not to sound like a broken record but that does fucking suck…where is the compassion? I hope they never find themselves in that situation….on the other hand…but no.

    Regarding your dad and his wife, I would guess that you staying with them is not the downfall of the union…my prayers will be with you and your family.


    Posted by leah | November 28, 2012, 9:45 pm

We don't tolerate scum.

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