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Would You Marry A Porn Star?

Would You Marry A Porn Star??? | The KiddChris Show – 102.7 WEBN.

Porn Star

So I was scrolling through my newsfeed this morning on Facebook when I came across the link above.

My curiosity piqued (no explanation needed, I hope), I clicked on the link.  The story states that a survey taken recently says that 86% of men would be willing to date a porn star and that 61% would be willing to marry one.

http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i52/5/6/17/frabz-dafuq-93bd40.jpg

Really?

I’m sure it would be freakin’ awesome to be able to tell all of your buddies that you’re banging a porn star, but that would be the only pro I can think of in this situation.

Is there anyone here who hasn’t seen porn before?  You in the back?  You’re lying.

Ok, since we’ve established that we’ve all seen porn before let’s get to all the reasons why 86% of  men polled (did you see what I did there?) are idiots and 61% are even bigger idiots.

Reason #1.  You will never be able to satisfy her in bed.  As much as the average guy wants to think he’s Casanova in bed, let’s face it…you’re probably not.  These women have sex for a living.  You know how quickly she’d become bored with what you’re doing?  That’s right, before you even start.  You aren’t going to be able to do anything to her that hasn’t been done to her before.  By a coworker.

That's right.  She'll be thinking of all the ways you're inadequate.

That’s right. She’ll be thinking of all the ways you’re inadequate.

Reason #2.  Have you seen how big the schlongs are in those movies?  Do you know what that does to a vagina when repeatedly crammed in and out?  I don’t either, but I can only fathom a one word answer to that question.  Stretching.  That means that she has a hole you’ll never be able to fill.  Probably two.  And that, my friends, leads you back to reason #1.

http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2008/9/24/128667888433048990.jpg

Reason #3.  It has always been man’s mission to go where no man has been before.  It has never been man’s mission to go where damn near every man has been before.  Moreover, I’m sure, dearest reader, that you’re familiar with the saying that when you kiss someone you’re kissing every other person that particular person has kissed.  Can you just imagine how much male genitalia has been inside a porn star’s mouth?  I’m not ready to hazard a guess, but whatever the true answer is I’m sure I can’t count that high.

See?

See?

Reason #4.  I seriously doubt she’s going to stop working just because you’re dating her or married to her.  Is your manly ego going to be able handle her banging multiple guys?  At the same time?  5 days a week if not more?  No, it isn’t.  Unless you’re a male porn star, which, let’s face it, you’re not.

Let's face it.  You're no Johnny Bravo so your ego is unfounded.

Accept it. You’re no Johnny Bravo so your ego is unfounded.

Reason #5.  As I stated earlier, it might be cool to be able to tell you buddies that you’re doing the mattress mambo with a porn star, but would you really tell your parents that?  Depending on who your father is, you might get a high-five or you might get bitch-slapped with a bible.  No matter who your mom is she won’t be impressed.  Or, you could have to tell a parent like this guy.

Red Forman

Reason #6.  Sexually Transmitted Diseases.  Porn stars get them despite what precautions they take.  You may get the clap and it won’t be applause.

No, not that kind of clap.

No, not that kind of clap.

Needless to say, any man with aspirations of dating a porn star is either delusional, stupid, or both.  There are no good reasons to even consider doing so.  It’s definitely a case where it’s better to look than to touch.

 

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Discussion

40 thoughts on “Would You Marry A Porn Star?

  1. There’s just one aspect that you failed to point out, and that is what if the porn chick wants to have someone in their life that would accommodate her emotional needs. Obviously she’s not getting that from the multitudes of guys she’s banging while at work. However, while that would be a good thing for you, you still wouldn’t be able to satisfy her in bed, and that would be a bad thing for the both of you. While there are porn stars I’d love to fuck, you’re right, I wouldn’t please them, and that would suck and be boring for both of us. Great post.

    Like

    Posted by beefybooyawn | December 4, 2012, 3:00 pm
  2. I’m still laughing at “It was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway” I can just about type…

    Like

    Posted by Life With The Top Down | December 4, 2012, 6:11 pm
  3. Funny and ick at the same time. Enter the cavern at your own risk.

    Like

    Posted by leah | December 4, 2012, 10:23 pm
  4. Hahaha,,you said “schlong”,,lol

    Like

    Posted by nikkix2 | December 5, 2012, 3:31 pm
  5. Naughty girls need love too.

    Like

    Posted by Edward Hotspur | January 21, 2013, 3:32 pm
  6. I’ll stick to disappointing women outside the porn industry, thank you.

    Like

    Posted by The Hook | January 24, 2013, 3:24 pm
  7. I had a guy friend tell me when he banged this one chick it was like “sticking his dick in the ocean”. Still cracks me up. Great post! Yes, I did click it for the image. & then I read it because of the title.

    Like

    Posted by Combat Babe | February 5, 2013, 1:05 am
  8. Haha…..can’t believe I missed this one!! (that’s what he said)

    Like

    Posted by Polysyllabic Profundities | February 5, 2013, 10:50 pm
  9. I laughed so hard and almost fell of my chair. :D

    Like

    Posted by shreyapunj | September 23, 2013, 10:45 am
  10. I just found this. I agree. Because AIDS.

    Like

    Posted by BrainRants | September 23, 2013, 12:15 pm
  11. Yes. Something to think about… Me marry a porn woman? I am not sure about that. How would I feel if she doing it with another guys at work? I don’t know…

    Like

    Posted by Robert | October 21, 2013, 11:47 am
  12. If I was younger, and single, and she was retired, and if she was Jenni Lee, I might. Yeah. Fortunately, I’m old, happily married, and this is all theoretical. In all honesty, when I was single I would have dated a porn star if she was someone with whom I enjoyed talking. From there, one has to reason that there’s at least a chance we would fall in love (presuming she wasn’t dating me as a joke, or for my money, power, and prestige), so yes. Maybe.

    Like

    Posted by JunkChuck | October 29, 2013, 7:43 pm
  13. I don´t judge pornstars nor those who want to marry a pornstar. Cause I think everyone has the right to find love, to be loved and to love back; the matter what background they have. Love does conquer everything, and love really does change a man and a women to the better (if it is pure love). Maybe I am old fashioned, but I thought that was what marriage was all about: love. Love forgives, love makes us move on, love heals, love unites us, love makes us grow (in spiritual way)…

    Love is so much more than just the dick penetrating the pussy or other holes. It is about intimity, about trust, about loosing yourself and actually embracing yourself to someone who will accept you for who you are because he/she loves you. If a pornstar finds love, the sex she will have with the one she loves, will never be the same as the one she fucks for show. Cause it is a difference between making love and fuck, don´t you agree? And pornstars are definitely not making love in porn; that can only be done with the one she/he loves.

    What right has anyone to judge a pornstar to have the same right to love, to find love and to be loved? And does they not have the right to make love too?

    Like

    Posted by drosseldaisy | November 4, 2013, 12:48 pm
    • Porn stars absolutely have the right to love and be loved, and this post was not meant to imply they didn’t. This was supposed to be a lighthearted post.

      Speaking for myself, however, sex is an important part of a relationship. It’s not the end all, be all, but it’s important. I don’t think I could deal with knowing that my significant other spent hours a day banging other guys. Some people are okay with that, I am not.

      That being said, I’m not judging porn stars or saying they are horrible people or unworthy of love. Everyone deserves to be loved. But this is something I couldn’t look past.

      Like

      Posted by Twindaddy | November 4, 2013, 12:57 pm
      • I see….cause marriage is about love and making love. For you, making love and to love in marriage wouldn´t work out with a pornstar because of your preference. But for the major of those in the statistic, it maybe would. Maybe their reasons for their preference for their choice of housewife differs from you…it could be because their ex-pornstar had chosen love for them and making love with them over just fucking around in all their holes. Making love with someone you love is always different than just having sex. Prostitutes I have talked with (mainly thai prostitutes), they really knows the difference , especially those who got married,…..(I´m comparing prostitutes with pornstars here since they are almost in the same business, and yes; they can´t talk on the behalf of the pornstars, but it can be related though…)

        Thanks for the reply. Have a lovely day with the ones you love!

        Like

        Posted by drosseldaisy | November 4, 2013, 1:45 pm
        • It’s a tough predicament to be in. I’ve spoken with a prostitute about this as well. She has trouble finding love because men don’t like that fact that she has sex with other people. Some people view sex and making love as two different things. I often times have trouble differentiating the two. Add to that the inherent risk with having multiple sexual partners (STD’s) and it’s just not worth it to me to even entertain the idea.

          Like

          Posted by Twindaddy | November 4, 2013, 1:59 pm
  14. Good points here, I’m in agreement. It would be interesting though to marry a lesbian porn star, although the toy aspect could be troubling.

    Like

    Posted by DUH'Merica | January 7, 2014, 2:22 pm
  15. *sorry* *tears* *can’t speak* Wtf!

    Like

    Posted by scottishmomus | May 23, 2014, 1:46 pm
  16. I couldn’t date or marry a porn star. They’re just too dumb. I know, I’m going to catch flack for this but think about it: if you made ten thousand dollars for an hour’s worth of work, and you could make it ten, twenty times a month just by laying on your back pretending to enjoy sex, and people who were having such crappy sex that they actually found your pretenses of enjoying crappier sex believable, wouldn’t you invest all that money and free time in…something? Would you really, after two YEARS of doing this, still have nothing to show for it but a stack of body modifications, a list of STD’s that reads like a hardened criminal’s rap sheet, and a thong collection that, if stretched end-to-end, could cover half the continent of North America in crotch crabs?

    Can we just not normalize this? If you, out of all the careers available, were to choose to have sex for money you are suffering from one of three things, and none of them make you marriageable material. 1. Sexual abuse in your past. This is the most common reason to have a vagina that flaps open as wide as the grand canyon. The fact that someone much bigger than you hurt you when you were little. This is the main reason why many of the women I have counselled in the past began working in the pornography and prostitution industries. They’d been hurt so much that they couldn’t feel a damned thing (physically, and sometimes mentally) anymore. But let’s all laugh about them, right. Ha, freaking, ha.

    2. Psychosis. You can be born with the type of psychosis that causes you to care more about money than people “so all I have to do is let this guy put his dick in me and I get ten grand? Great, I was going to have sex with somebody I don’t care about anyway, might as well make some coin” or from the kind of psychosis born, again, of extreme violence in one’s childhood. The latter sort of girl is going to unhinge and if you happen to be the boyfriend she unhinges on, I feel sorry for you. That much anger, all pent up, is likely to result in a broken boyfriend skull.

    3. Addiction or disease. These two are pretty much even on the choosing to have sex for a living scale. Drug addicts can’t feel a thing and if they ever do, no problem, they’ll just self-medicate. These chicks can burn through ten thousand dollars worth of drugs between seven and nine, and have to make another movie again by noon. Then you have your diseased girls who say they “decided to do porn/become a hooker because I knew I had something and I didn’t want to give it to some nice guy”.

    Once I’m through with their motivations, I have to consider the interviewees’. I personally, don’t really care what a guy looks like as long as he feels good. But I guess there’s a whole sect of humanity that doesn’t care what they’re getting as long as it looks impressive. I don’t ride around on a bike wearing a car costume and I’m not going to settle for a walking, breathing rubber doll who can’t even grasp the simple concept that a hundred grand a year is enough money to live the high life and still save up a lot of coin.

    Like

    Posted by bellmk | June 25, 2014, 9:50 pm

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  1. Pingback: Marrying A Porn Star? Not Sure About That! | DeafGuy Blog - October 21, 2013

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