Commentary: Ok, THIS is a freaky subject, but here goes…
Twindaddy, at the young age of 35 years, died in the most unfortunate of accidents yesterday.
It was a common occurence for Twindaddy to have his head up his ass. It happened frequently. Yesterday, however, his head became lodged in his ass and he suffocated to death struggling to remove it.
Twindaddy is survived immediately by his wife, Superbitch (who is considered a person of interest at this time as the police have not ruled out homicide), and his three children, Baby A, Baby B, and Baby C. He is also survived by his father (who states he doesn’t know where Twindaddy’s penchant for shoving his head up his ass came from), his mother (who says she’s not at all surprised this happened since Twindaddy, like his father before him, always had his head up his ass), and his two brothers (who also frequently have their heads up their asses).
Services for Twindaddy have been delayed while doctors attempt to remove Twindaddy’s head from his ass without damaging his body so that he can be properly presented for his funeral. The most respected proctologist in the country, Dr. Gloves Moonman, has been called in to assist with the procedure.
A follow-up story will be published once Twindaddy’s body is presentable for services.