My bucket list, much like my New Year’s Resolutions, is nonexistent. I’m too busy living paycheck to paycheck, raising my kids, working, and blogging to even think about starting a bucket list. Therefore, the 11th item on my bucket list is the same as items 1 through 10. Nothing.
Furthermore, I don’t see the point in having a bucket list. Why bother making a list of lofty goals you’re unlikely to achieve before you die? Furthermore, why would you perpetually maintain a list that eludes to your death? Doesn’t this all seem a bit, morbid?
“Hey, Ralph! What do you wanna do before you kick the bucket?” some idiot may say to his friend, whose name coincidentally is Ralph.
“Well, Joe,” Ralph may hypothetically respond, “I want to live life instead of thinking about all the things I’ll probably never get to do before I die.”
Seriously, why are we making bucket lists? And why have they become so insanely popular? Why aren’t we living life instead of making a list about the life we want to live? If you want to skydive, then do it. If you want to dress in drag and walk the strip after dark, then do it. Want to travel the world? Tough shit, you have no money. Go back to work. Want to flash your in-laws? Have fun. And take pictures.
I turned to Google to obtain valuable insight into this nonsensical phenomenon (enom enom). I clicked the first link on the list which has a detailed explanation as to what a bucket list is, why you should have one, and a list of 101 things you should do before you die. Let’s examine this, shall we?
What’s a Bucket List?
Simple enough. But there you are thinking about your expiration date again. Seriously, no one knows when they’re going to “kick the bucket,” so if you want to do something, don’t put it off. Just do it. Within reason, of course.
Why Create a Bucket List?
Silly, website. Even if you do live your days by personal goals and plans you will still spend most of your time caught up in a flurry of day-to-day activities. That’s called reality. Please come back to it.
The article then goes on to list 101 different things you could or should do before you die, but I’m going to go in a different direction. I could probably go down all 101 items and discredit each one, but let’s face it. Neither you nor I have the time for this sort of douchebaggery, as fun as it would be.
Instead, I’m going to pilfer. I’m going to steal. That’s right, I’m going to shamelessly infringe upon the idea of a fellow blogger, yet give her full credit for the idea because, hey, it’s hers.
BreezyK, of The Camel Life fame, posted about bucket lists back in June and decided that we don’t need any more to do lists. She decided, instead that what we need is a Fuck It list. So, I’m ganking her idea and running with it. I’m going to make my own Fuck It list. So here, without further ado (not that there was any ado to begin with) is a list of things that Twindaddy will give zero fucks about:
- Baby momma drama
- Justin Bieber
- What celebrity wore it best
- That nagging itch that won’t go away
- Creating a bucket list
- Any speed limit
- Bitches bitching about other bitches being bitches
- That stack of collection letters sitting on my desk at home
I’ll stop there. 10 seems like a nice, round number. Besides, I could go on all day about all the things I give zero fucks about. And again, thank you BreezyK for the wonderful idea. Also, dear readers, I would encourage you (since you’re not giving any fucks anyway) to visit BreezyK’s blog. She is a gifted and humorous writer, and her blog always entertains. Give her a visit would ya? And tell her Twindaddy sent ya.
And you, dearest reader? What do you resolve to give zero fucks about?