About these ads

Parenting Fail

I’ve used this here space to address parenting fails many times before, but never my own.  *gasp*  Twindaddy, you have failed as a parent?  Well, not entirely, but nobody’s perfect.

Wrote a blog ’bout it, like da here, here goes!

During my morning commute this morning – is that too redundant?  I can never tell – I was messing with Baby B because, hey, he was dumb enough to sit in the front seat next to me.  And if I keep doing it maybe they’ll stop fighting over who gets to sit in the front seat.  Anyhow, I was randomly pinching his leg and slapping him upside the head – I see you staring accusingly at me through this blog.  They were love taps, dammit.  Love taps I say! – and then yelling “No touchy!”

Silly?  Absolutely.  Fun?  You bet your ass it was.

Eventually, he started whining – through his contagious laughter – “You’re touching me!” and other inane things I don’t remember.

I countered with my rendition of Charlie Brown’s teacher.  “Wa wa wa waaaa wa wa.”

He then cleverly (term used loosely) retorted, “Duh duh duh dah duh.”  He truly gets his wit honestly.  From his mother.  Poor child.

“Do you even know what that’s from?” I inquired.


And there it was.  My failure in all its blasphemous glory.  My children didn’t know who Charlie Brown’s teacher was.  It hit me in the gut like Buster Douglas.  I felt the burn of this failure deep within my core.  How could I have two 13-year old boys who have no idea who Charlie Brown is?  Shame coursed through my veins.  My head hung low, but not too low, I was still driving after all.  I vowed right then and there to right this heinous wrong.

I, undaunted by my failure and unwilling to show any weakness in front of my children, continued my banter with him.  “You uncultured swine!”

He was unfazed by my very uncomplimentary insult.  “Whatever that means…”

“Google it.”

“I don’t want to.”

I loathe willful ignorance.  “Well, you’ll be writing a report on it tonight then,” I told him.

“But, but…”

Another “love tap” ended our repartee.

There will be no report, but there will be homework.  We will be searching for Charlie Brown videos on YouTube tonight so I can culture these ignorant children.

Charlie is rolling his eyes at me. I’m sorry, Charlie. I won’t fail you again.

That at least gives me a nice segue into YouTube Tuesday tomorrow.  So there’s that.

About these ads

About Twindaddy

Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.


56 thoughts on “Parenting Fail

  1. You need to show them the one where Charlie Brown goes after all those who wronged him with a chainsaw – Peanuts Chainsaw Massacre. Wait, that one only exists in my head.


    Posted by aliceatwonderland | January 7, 2013, 11:46 am
  2. Ha – We’ve been watching Charlie Brown since my kid was a wee tot…we watched Charlie Brown Xmas about 500 times during his 3-4 years….


    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | January 7, 2013, 11:52 am
  3. I’ve never noticed before how Charlie Brown’s eyes resemble commas. And if you go on to tell me what part of his body resembles an asterisk, I’m leaving.


    Posted by rossmurray1 | January 7, 2013, 3:18 pm
  4. Yeah, me and the twins went to dinner. Many laughs were had. Then we came home and watched Charlie Brown videos on YouTube.


    Posted by twindaddy | January 7, 2013, 7:29 pm
  5. When I had to explain things from the 80′s to people I worked with that were in their teens, I felt old. 30 is not old. What is this generation coming to!?


    Posted by Not Quite Alice | January 7, 2013, 8:12 pm
  6. Not a fail at all, because now you get to introduce them to good old Chuck!


    Posted by El Guapo | January 7, 2013, 9:12 pm
  7. Hah! Great post all the way around. All of the adults talked like that in Charlie Brown. When I was young my sister and I used to mock our babysitters when they would tell us to do something we didn’t want to do (hmmm…all I heard was wawawawawawaaaa). Our parents played angry but they thought it was hilarious as long as we didn’t try it on them. One of the top 5 comics…C&H is #1 though.


    Posted by 1jaded1 | January 7, 2013, 9:18 pm
  8. I am almost speechless. Almost.


    Posted by GingerSnaap | January 12, 2013, 4:42 pm


  1. Pingback: YouTube Tuesday: You’re hopeless, Charlie Brown. | Stuph Blog - January 8, 2013

We don't tolerate scum.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

About these ads

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Out of the Darkness

Please click here to donate

Support #rawrLove

Click the pic to see how you can buy this and other #rawrLove products and support our beloved Rawra.

Support Our Bloggers!

Blog for Mental Health

Blog for Mental Health

Follow Twindaddy!

Twindaddy on Twitter! Twindaddy on G+!


Follow on Bloglovin

Don't have enough junk in your email? Not to worry, we can help! Click the link below to have even more stuph sent to your inbox.

Join 4,416 other followers


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 4,416 other followers

%d bloggers like this: