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When Life Throws Lemons…

It’s time to slow down on the funny for a bit, and change to something serious.  I know, I know.  There’s no fun in that, but it’s time for an update on my life which, unlike my Unshitty™ blog, is quite shitty and sinking further into the toilet bowl.

When I last updated you things were looking bleak.  They are now even more bleak.

Fuck that.

My father and his wife have worked out their differences, which is great for them, but part of “working it out” means them moving ASAFP.  So they are going to rent out their place.  They offered to let me rent it, but evidently forgot that my wife is still recovering from surgery and is out of work.  So I obviously am in no position to be able to rent it from them.

They are moving out in three weeks, which means that I have to move out in three weeks.

Since I’m currently paying both mine and my wife’s bills there’s no way I can afford to add rent into the mix so my only hope was for my in-laws to take me and the kids in.


They did, but with conditions.  My father-in-law is worried about the house being too crowded, so I can only have the twins over there on the weekends.  I only have them every other weekend.  My other days with them are Monday and Wednesday.  So I’m now going to have to spend Monday and Wednesday evenings at my brother’s house so I can spend time with them.  I will then have to take them back to their mother’s house and then go home and spend the rest of the night without them.  I won’t get to see them in the morning.  I won’t get to drop them off at school.  I’ll be a smaller part of their lives until this is all over with.

Compounding the problem is the fact that my in-law live in Cincinnati, which is about 20 miles north of where I currently live.  Not a huge ordeal except for the fact that it’s in Ohio, which for those of you who are geography challenged is a different state than Kentucky.  The reason that’s a problem is that my divorce agreement with the twin’s mother states that I have to receive permission from her to move out-of-state.   First, I had to talk to her.  That’s bad enough, but then I actually had to explain all the ways my life sucked to her to gain her permission for a temporary move to another state.

I don’t want to seem unappreciative of either my father or my father-in-law, because they don’t have to take me in, but this is killing me.  All of the extra shit I’m going through on top of the indignity of having to continuously ask for help is just becoming a huge pain in my ass.  I’m quite independent and don’t like asking for help and I’ve been inordinately humbled in the last few months.

I also followed up with my doctor the other day and I’m being put on an additional medicine to help with my mood swings.  I haven’t started taking it yet, but hopefully that works out.  Further bulletins as events warrant.

Somebody please, please, please…if you’re having a harder time than I am currently tell me about it so I can feel better about myself.

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109 thoughts on “When Life Throws Lemons…

  1. Dude… I am so sorry you’re going through this. I went through a really rough patch that started at the back end of 2009 and is still kind of ongoing, but not as bad as this. (A brief summary – August 2009, move 200 miles away from friends and family to where my wife at the time wanted to live. October 2009, my father suddenly passed away, while I was of course 200 miles away. January 2010 found out my wife was seeing someone else. April 2010 moved out of my marital home. June 2010 divorced. Now living in a town with no friends and no social life, just to stay close to my son). As you’re going through shit like this, it’s SO SO hard to see any daylight or end to tough times. But I’m (barely!) living proof that things do get better. Keep writing here, an outlet is important, and keep focusing on the smallest of pleasures and good things, like time with the kids. To use a quote from Fifth Element – “Grandfather say, it never rain every day”. I’ll be following your blog a lot closer now fella.


    Posted by Simon | January 7, 2013, 8:22 am
  2. Oh Twindaddy, I’m saddened to hear the stuggles you are dealing with. I hope your wife is on the mend. It’s good to know that you at least have your family as a safety-net. I hope you keep writing – that, in itself, can be good mood therapy. And a lot of bloggers out here are really supportive. My postive, non lemony, thoughts to you and yours ~


    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | January 7, 2013, 8:35 am
  3. I can’t say that I’m in a worse place than you are. I can give you empathy and a listening ear, or should I say a reading eye? Plus a “HUG”.


    Posted by dmauldin53 | January 7, 2013, 8:45 am
  4. That sucks. I’m trying to come up with something more positive.

    I got nothing. Except 50 Shades of crap. But hang in there and keep with the funny. It really does help. I’ve been down in the depressive dumps of Sad Ponyville a while, but I cling to the funny as much as I can (as you did with the snarky lemon references – those bright, sunshiny people need a lemon in the eye). Good luck to you. I hope things are better soon. Or at least not crappier.

    I’m not a very good counselor.


    Posted by aliceatwonderland | January 7, 2013, 9:17 am
  5. Twin Daddy,
    All right buddy. Things may look bleak, but my dear friend, you are doing all you can to be able to spend as much time as you can to be with your kids. Kudos for that; your twins will love you even more for it. If anything, keep on remembering that…


    Posted by Le Clown | January 7, 2013, 9:20 am
  6. Um…I stubbed my toe this morning. It really really hurt.
    No? Sorry, my problems aren’t enough to entertain me any more.

    Sorry man, all I can do is commiserate.
    But like LC said, hopefully even though your time with them is cut down, your kids will remembe the hoops dad jumped through to spend as much time as he could with them.
    And here’s hoping you come roaring back even stronger.


    Posted by El Guapo | January 7, 2013, 9:43 am
  7. When life gives you lemons learn to make lemon meringue pie or lemon chiffon cake…don’t settle for the lemonade.
    My hubby and I are both on second marriages….so there is hope on the other end of it all. He put in 35 years before she divorced him out of the blue he raised the two children. I put in 16 1/2 years with mine then he announced he was getting remarried and no longer wanted children (mine were pre-teens) no child support I got through it. Remember praying a lot…as I will for you too


    Posted by TammyeHoney | January 7, 2013, 9:51 am
  8. I’m sorry to hear all of this. Keep your head up, as it’s the only place you can go…


    Posted by Brother Jon | January 7, 2013, 10:39 am
  9. That really sucks, TwinDaddy. I’m so sorry that things are getting so f’ed up for you. I am impressed with your perseverance, your dedication. You’ll get through it, TD.

    I’m sick now so I’m not going to write much more. But you will work things out. You have your head and heart in the right place. The rest will work out.


    Posted by Elyse | January 7, 2013, 10:59 am
  10. Hang in there dude. Yeah, it grates to ask for help, but it’ll make you a stronger, better person in the long run. I hope things get better for you.


    Posted by southerndreamer | January 7, 2013, 12:05 pm
  11. Yup. I don’t really care what she thinks about it, but it’s grating to have to explain my life full of woes to her.


    Posted by twindaddy | January 7, 2013, 12:43 pm
  12. I’m so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. Now I really feel bad that I didn’t win the $500,000,000 lottery…damn it…that really sucks!
    I’m glad to hear the Mrs. is feeling better, that is very good news. I’ll continue to keep you and your family in a positive light for peace. Make some lemonade (with vodka). Keep your heart & head focused in the right direction and all will be fine. I just submitted an entry to the Publishers Clearing House…so cross your fingers. I honestly didn’t know it still existed…shit maybe it doesn’t and now someone is stealing my idenity. Chin up Twin!


    Posted by Life With The Top Down | January 7, 2013, 12:50 pm
    • I thought PCH retired with Ed McMahon. Good luck with that! Maybe I’ll win the lottery and you’ll have some other old guy knock on your front door with a larger-than-life check and we can tag team one kick ass blog post about it!

      And while I’m dreaming I’d like to lose about 30 lbs…


      Posted by twindaddy | January 7, 2013, 12:52 pm
  13. Sorry to hear of your plight, my life isn’t grand, but I’m sending virtual happy thoughts your way. And stuff lemonade, vodka’s much better. :)


    Posted by sarahneeve | January 7, 2013, 2:15 pm
  14. This must be an insanely trying time for you, brother, and I’m so sorry. I hope this situation is very, very temporary. Fuck that lemonade crap. When life gives you lemons, find a way to develop lemon-fueled nukes so that you can fire them at people who annoy the shit out of you.


    Posted by Madame Weebles | January 7, 2013, 2:52 pm
  15. I can try to make you feel better. . . But you might still have it worse than me.
    My meds are almost out and I don’t see the doctor until my insurance kicks in which isn’t until February some time. I seem to have a chest infection from the cold nailing me with my asthma. So I definitely sound like I have bronchitis. My bank account reads negative, by over 100. OOPs. I have a brokenish toe(Hurts whenever I put weight on it. ). OOps again. (I can’t even figure that one out.) Nowhere near you though. Sorry. I wanted to make you feel better.


    Posted by Not Quite Alice | January 7, 2013, 8:21 pm
  16. Hoping your wit remains strong and your faith remains stronger. You have tons of support. Leah.


    Posted by 1jaded1 | January 7, 2013, 9:01 pm
  17. I hope I’m not dredging up sour feelings but I too just wanted to extend a hand out to you…to help you toss those motherf’ing lemons back to where they came from! I agree with Le Clown. Your twins will be extremely appreciative of what you’re doing. It’ll mean more to them than you know. It makes my heart melt any time I see a parent fighting to be with their children so I must give you major props.


    Posted by vyvacious | January 8, 2013, 3:26 am
  18. I’m so sorry all of this is happening to you. Someday your kids are going to remember all the things you did to spend more time with them, they’ll love you even more for that. I hope everything is better very soon. Hugs, Twindaddy.


    Posted by MissFourEyes | January 8, 2013, 5:02 am
  19. Oh man. I wish I had met you six years ago. Then I could wow you with my tale of how I lost my house and my marriage and my job all in one fabulous winter. Alas, I can only tell you that six years ago so much Shitty stuff happened. So much. And now? Now I poop rainbows and have a happy new husband and a baby and a home and and and… It gets better. My grandmother says that it is darkest before the dawn. It always pisses me off. I hope it pisses you off, too, because then you’ll be pissed off at me (or at my 90 year old grandmother which really isn’t very kind of you) and perhaps that will serve as a distraction. ;)


    Posted by Kelly | January 8, 2013, 2:29 pm
  20. So sorry to hear of your struggles. I guess we’re all due to get the shit end of the stick at some point. Best of luck; just remember when you’ve hit the bottom, things can only go up from there. <3


    Posted by Nicole Marie | January 8, 2013, 6:07 pm
  21. Daddy! I feel rage towards those assholes who would do that to Mrs. Daddy- my rage is epic.
    I didn’t ‘know’ you yet when you wrote this- is Mrs feeling better?

    And, I have a camper! In my driveway! YOU GUYS CAN LIVE IN IT- THAT WOULD BE SO FUN, RIGHT? RIGHT??? Actually, Mrs and the kids can live inside my house, and YOU can stay in the camper with my spouse who irritates the bejeezus out of me right now!! YAY! I know how to cook and shit as well!


    Posted by GingerSnaap | February 8, 2013, 6:52 am


  1. Pingback: What blogging means to me | She Said What? - February 8, 2013

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