On my way to work this morning I was behind some sort of SUV. That in itself is not all that important and it certainly isn’t the reason I started this post. I’m sure that even you, dearest reader, have been behind an SUV at some point and you didn’t care either.
The reason that this SUV was notable to me is because it had a bumper sticker on the back of it that read:
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas
This really struck me. I mean, the only time I ever think about my dog is on Christmas when I give her a stocking full of squeaky toys with which to annoy me. The other 364 days of the year I don’t even know she exists. Today is an exception solely because of this bumper sticker. Who has time to think about their dog? And why bother? They feed themselves. They can let themselves out when they have to pee or poop (heh heh, poop). Hell, some of them even use the toilet. They can even get their own water to fill up their bowl. And most importantly, they can reach their genitals with their mouths. That provides endless entertainment to all of them.
So what gives? Why do I need to think about my dog more often than just Christmas? In search of answers I really don’t care about but will pursue anyway just for the sake of this blog post, I turn to Google. What, you thought I’d go somewhere else? Silly reader, Bing is for newbs.
My search proved fruitful on the first result I clicked on. That’s like winning the lottery, folks. Seriously. How often is Google that good?
Google led me to this site, which claims that this is their slogan and was created by Clarissa Baldwin, their Chief Executive, in 1978. Per the page:
The longstanding campaign aims to raise awareness of the consequences of treating dogs as gifts or toys. Every year hundreds of thousands of children plead for the latest fad or top toy on the market, only to discard them a few weeks after Christmas when the novelty wears off. Unfortunately, the same perception is also apparent with dogs. We are continually seeking to change this.
Wait, you mean dogs aren’t just neat Christmas gifts with which to appease spoiled children? You can’t just give them to anybody? Not even as a prank gift? Dammit. That really throws a wrench into my holiday plans for this year. What a giant, steaming pile of suck.
In all seriousness, if you don’t recognize that having a pet is a huge commitment prior to owning one, looking at this slogan and understanding its meaning is just not going to happen. People who love pets are going to take care of them. People who get them just to shut their children up do not and will not give a shit.
I love my dog, even though she’s a pain in the ass sometimes. More importantly, our family loves our dog. We all pitch in taking care of her. We take turns taking her out, feeding her, and playing with her. I don’t need to be told that owning a dog is a huge committment. That should be readily apparent, but evidently it isn’t to some people, and that’s sad.
This slogan, to me, is akin to a product warning such as “don’t use this hair dryer in the shower” or “Preparation H is for external use only.” These are things you shouldn’t have to be told, but for some reason there are people out there that just don’t get it. It’s a sad reflection on our society that slogans such as these need to be created. A sad reflection, indeed.
So, to sum everything up nicely, stop being stupid, assholes. If you can’t or don’t want to take care of a dog then don’t get one.
- As I was scanning in the computers I received today, I forgot to switch my active window to my Excel sheet and scanned the serial number of a computer into a chat window with my wife. She was mildly perplexed.
me: (computer serial number)
me: wrong window active…
me: i know. i failed
Superbitch: Uh huh
- Typed Perparation H instead of Preparation H.