I don’t normally delve into the realm of “what-ifs” because it seems pointless to dwell on things that could have been instead of things that are. There’s literally an entire multiverse of “what-ifs” out there for one to get lost in, but if you’re lost in it you aren’t concentrating on where you actually are. And that, dearest reader, is how you run into that telephone pole you didn’t see while you were texting and walking. Or something.
However, today’s prompt is somewhat imaginative and on the off-chance that I win the lottery I suppose I should have some sort of plan for what to do with a hypothetical plot of land that some weirdo might hypothetically give me. So come get lost with me in hypothetics, won’t you? Oh, and don’t touch anything. These are my hypothetics. Get your own.
Since we’re dealing strictly with hypotheticals, this plot of land will be flat. I hate parking on a steeply inclined driveway or having to mow grass on a hill. It blows and I won’t do it in my hypothetical world. And you can’t play on it. So there.
Oh, and this plot will be located in Alaska. I’ve always wanted to live in Alaska for the beautiful scenery and because I can’t stand hot weather.
The first part of the plan is to build a house. It will be a ranch with four bedrooms. One for me, and one for each of my children. They need their own rooms, especially the twins. They are getting older and need their own space to do, you know, teenage boy stuph™.
The house will have a living room and a man cave. The living room will obviously be for family stuph™, such as games, movie nights, and holiday get-togethers. The man cave will be just that, and located in a finished basement. Duh. This will be where my geekery will be on full display. All of my Star Wars paraphernalia. My Bengals paraphernalia. My Michigan paraphernalia. And any other such collectables I may obtain since I’ve been hypothetically endowed with ample financial resources.
The kitchen will be adequately sized and contain top-of-the-line appliances. I’m not much into cooking, but when I have to do it I want to be able to do it in style. And convenience.
The house would also have a three-car garage. It would house two cars and the additional space would be used for tools and storage. The driveway would have a basketball goal and would be wide enough to actually play basketball. The twins and I love playing, and I’m sure Baby C will too once he’s old enough to play.
Outside I would build an in-ground swimming pool. I was lucky enough to have one of these for a couple of years growing up and it was insurance that if there was nothing else to do, we could always go swimming. It’s endless hours of fun for the entire family in addition to being great exercise.
There would also be an outdoor hot tub. There is nothing greater than chilling (metaphorically speaking) in a hot tub at the end of a tough, gruelling day with an alcoholic beverage in one hand and nothing in the other.
The entire yard would be fenced in so that my puppy could have the run of the place without having to be on a leash. When we first got her we had this luxury, but the last few places we have not and I feel bad for her that she can’t leave the house without being tied to a leash.
Also, since I have I’ll have the financial resources to do whatever I want, I’ll be hiring someone to care for the lawn and to keep the landscape nice and purdy. I loathe yard work but love a fresh, clean-looking property. Ironic, I know, but that’s how I roll. I’m all kinds of weird. Deal with it.
It’s that special time, dearest reader, where I turn the tables and ask you that which I have already answered. What would you do with all this hypothetical charity?
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