Hi again. I normally don’t do the daily prompt as I like to think I can pull something creative from the part of my brain that isn’t filled with fog. Snobby? Not really, considering I managed to insult myself in the same sentence. Anyway, it was more work than I planned to do. I clicked into my reader, then the third post which only had two sentences (thanks Alastair ;-)), and finally the link to the blog of sharing me myself and I. The gem I found was worth the effort.
I’ve been around addiction my entire life. It runs on both sides of my family. Some members have never touched a mind altering substance for fear of becoming addicted. Most of those who use are highly functioning and you would never know they have a problem. They are out of denial and admit they are full-fledged addicts and will die if they don’t stop. Where do I fit in? I’m still trying to determine, so PLEASE don’t make that determination for me and PLEASE don’t tell me what to do. When I go home the thought of a fix is totally abandoned. That’s not to say I won’t abuse myself by other means. I just won’t use a substance. I know the criteria and have discussed with professionals. I always thought I was an addict. On the spectrum, I’m more of an abuser and less of an addict. My mind is at rest, now…NOT. Once you cross the line, you can never go back. You have two choices, death or recovery.
The first choice is obvious. You die. Game over. The second choice is hard…what to do? What to do? In-patient, out-patient, anonymous, smart, by yourself in secret…so many choices. I have family members who are in recovery (friends too) and there are so many choices.
Here comes the rant…yes, it had to happen. It surprises and irks the fuck out of me when those in recovery start preaching to people who are addicted or may have just had one too many. The patronizing attitude seriously pisses me off. Who are they to cast that stone? Where is the compassion? I want to say, “Put yourself back in that unhappy place, in which you were inhabiting, before you moved into your house of glass. Think about your reaction if someone said your words to you when you were using.”. I’m not saying everyone does this. One program talks about character defects. I will never understand this. If the content of your character is defined by the fact that you no longer use a substance, I’m so sorry, it still needs work. /rant.
There…I’ve implemented the daily prompt and spewed.