Today was a horrible day for justice. I, Miraculous Man, made an inexcusable mistake. I suppose there is a first time for everything, but there should never have been a first time for this.
I was making my rounds at Wal-Mart, looking for any injustices being committed against my customer service brethren. I had almost finished my way around the track, as it’s referred to, and had yet to see any mischief afoot.
As I passed by the Garden Center, an animated discussion ensnared my attention. There seemed to be a heated exchange between a customer and an employee. The customer seemed quite agitated and was flailing his arms about while he spoke cacophonously. I made my way towards the duo so I could ascertain the situation.
“You’ve got to be the dumbest person I’ve ever met!” were the first words I heard out of the customer’s mouth. That was all I needed to hear. I would not stand idly by while this villanous cretin berated one of my customer service brethren.
I quickly darted down a vacant aisle and, once I was sure I was safe from prying eyes, donned my miraculous costume. Once I was properly attired, I burst from the aisle, running at full speed towards the offending customer.
Just a second or two from full contact, the customer noticed my charge and tried to brace for impact, but it was too late. I buried my right shoulder deep into his sternum and tackled him bodily to the ground.
I triumphantly exclaimed, “You will not talk to my customer service brethren in such a fashion. You will apologize immediately!”
The employee quickly intervened. ”What’s your problem, man? He wasn’t yelling at me he was telling a frickin’ story.”
Oops. Luckily for me I had my miraculous hockey mask on which hid the embarrassment draped over my face. Without delay, I made my departure and didn’t look back.
I think a little more investigation may be required in future endeavors.
Written for this week’s Trifecta Challange.