About these ads
Life, Yeah Write

An Opportunity I Wouldn’t Take

In the past week I’ve read a couple of posts in which the author has advice for her younger self. One post contained a paragraph, in letter form, advising her younger self to make better decisions and the other was a collection of random tidbits of advice for her former, 17-year old self.

I pondered this for while. Despite the obvious lack of practicality involved in this exercise, I found myself wondering what I would say to my younger self if I were somehow magically granted a pass to travel back in time and given an attempt to talk some sense into myself.

I’ve certainly made my share of mistakes. Were I to recite them all I’d probably die before I could finish. That being said, if I had this opportunity I know precisely what I would say. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I’ve endured pain. I’ve suffered heartache. I’ve experienced torment. If I went back and gave myself advice things may turn out differently. That could mean that I’d never marry an abusive woman. That might mean I’d save myself the heartache of a couple of failed long-distance relationships. It could also mean that I’d make more of an effort to let a couple of uncles and an aunt who passed away before their time know how much I love them and appreciate them. It might even mean that I don’t wait almost 15 years after high school to finally go back to school and actually choose a career.

Those are all missteps I could avoid if given the chance to go back in time and drop some knowledge on my younger self. I would, however, risk losing the three greatest things that ever happened to me if by some miracle my younger, stubborn self actually heeded the advice given by my older, allegedly wiser self. Could I avoid my abusive marriage if given a chance to go back in time and warn myself about her? Absolutely, but then I would not be a proud father of twins. Could I warn myself about my second wife? That it’s not going to work and to keep wading through that sea of fish? That she’s not the bride I’m looking for? You betchya, but then I would be giving up Baby C.

1353076525571_8172293

I wrote that ecard. I left those words on a blog post a couple of years ago and I marveled that such wisdom came from my malfunctioning cranium. It’s absolutely true, though. Without all of the mistakes made, the hard lessons learned, we would not be who we are. We would not have what we have today.

No, I would not write a letter to my younger self. No, I would not bequeath advice to my 17-year old self. I am who I am because of what I’ve experienced and have what I have because of those choices, good or bad. I happen to like who I am, despite all of the stupid shit I’ve done. I would gladly make the same mistakes over again just to ensure that I end up with my babies. Such is my love for them.

About these ads

About Twindaddy

Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

Discussion

355 thoughts on “An Opportunity I Wouldn’t Take

  1. Reblogged this on Inkling of Asylum and commented:
    Holy shit! This is super awesome philosophical talk!
    It’s like I thought things, and someone else wrote them. Go. Look. Read. Follow.

    Like

    Posted by Christopher | July 16, 2013, 2:24 pm
  2. Good for you! It’s true you could prevent bad things, but there’s a little of good and bad in most stuff, so you’d lose the good with the bad.

    Like

    Posted by aliceatwonderland | July 16, 2013, 2:34 pm
  3. Of course, being who we are, we probably wouldn’t take our advice anyway. :D

    Like

    Posted by southerndreamer | July 16, 2013, 2:36 pm
  4. Those kids, so lucky to have you.

    Like

    Posted by the_lunatic | July 16, 2013, 2:45 pm
  5. It is always refreshing to see a proud and loving father. I might have some advice for my younger self… I like who I am today…but I know if I had had some guidance and made some different choices I could have ended up even better and accomplished some stuff much sooner. sighs…

    Like

    Posted by daniheart21 | July 16, 2013, 2:50 pm
  6. So true. However there is one thing I would say to my younger self. Don’t dye your hair blue when at Uni because it won’t work and it’ll come out green due to being on top of blonde dye, and it will take forever to wash out.

    Like

    Posted by faithhopechocolate | July 16, 2013, 3:09 pm
    • You wouldn’t have listened.

      Like

      Posted by twindaddy | July 16, 2013, 3:11 pm
      • That is true. The other bit of advice I’d quite like to give is to my 11-year-old self is “Now you’ve got a decent teacher for up the flute, for the love of all that’s holy, practice the bloody thing. Then you’ll actually be able to play well, rather than mediocrely, and it’ll be less difficult and nerve-wracking in the long run.”

        Like

        Posted by faithhopechocolate | July 16, 2013, 3:20 pm
        • Well, sounds like you have your own post brewing.

          Like

          Posted by twindaddy | July 16, 2013, 3:29 pm
          • Those are the only two pieces of advice I’d give. For just the same reasons as you – I’ve had to live through all the inconveniences, the bad decisions, the mistakes I made, the bullying/abuse at other peoples’ hands, to be who I am where I am now. One change to any of that and I won’t be the me I am now. Practicing my flute probably won’t change that, not dying my hair won’t change that, but they would remove an incident of idocy (the hair dye) and would give me another escape besides books and TV (the music).

            Like

            Posted by faithhopechocolate | July 16, 2013, 3:41 pm
          • But you can learn the flute now. New hobby!!

            Like

            Posted by twindaddy | July 16, 2013, 3:46 pm
          • I learnt it back then. I’m now getting back into the swing of practicing – and played a solo in a concert last weekend, which was seriously scary. I thought I was going to throw up when I realised “Oh God I’m up next” during the piece the choir were singing beforehand. I don’t know if I’ll be able to have lessons any time soon, but if I can practice more regularly and join the local wind band in September, I should get a chance to improve.

            Like

            Posted by faithhopechocolate | July 16, 2013, 3:52 pm
          • That’s cool. I used to play piano when I was a tween, but then life went to hell and I quit having lessons and I haven’t touched a piano in over 20 years. I may as well have never played before.

            Like

            Posted by twindaddy | July 16, 2013, 3:56 pm
          • I have at least played off and on over the last 17 years since I stopped having lessons. Just not anything more complicated than hymn tunes, so playing a “proper” piece last saturday was quite an achievement.

            I reckon if you were to get piano lessons you’d find some of it is still there in the old memory banks – but I know that music lessons are not cheap these days.

            Like

            Posted by faithhopechocolate | July 16, 2013, 4:09 pm
          • No, they’re not. I can’t even remember how to read music. I’d have to start from scratch.

            Like

            Posted by twindaddy | July 16, 2013, 4:13 pm
          • Oh, crikey, that is tough. But then you’ve had a heck of a lot of life to deal with in the last few years so it’s no wonder you don’t remember it. Your brain has decided to send it to long-term storage because it’s not currently relevant.

            Like

            Posted by faithhopechocolate | July 16, 2013, 4:30 pm
          • Lol, no kidding.

            Like

            Posted by twindaddy | July 16, 2013, 6:05 pm
  7. Funny. I have a draft for a post with the title “A letter to my younger self”. I was looking for possible blog posts and saved it, but as soon as I saved it I thought “What could I possible tell myself? Do I need to warn myself for things that would cross my path?”…the word file is still empty and I’ll probably never fill it in.

    You’re e-card really says it all and for everything bad there is something good. Like Baby C’s buttocks.

    Sorry. I had to mention it again…

    Like

    Posted by TJLubrano | July 16, 2013, 3:10 pm
  8. I love this post, and its ecard, so so SO much. And now i’m wondering if that’s why I haven’t given much thought to one of those letters myself.

    Like

    Posted by Christina | July 16, 2013, 3:27 pm
    • Perhaps. I’ve never ever regretted anything. Ever. Because every time I thought about doing something different it meant that I’d not have my children or something else I value. Plus, you can’t change it anyway so there’s no point in thinking about it, really.

      Like

      Posted by twindaddy | July 16, 2013, 3:30 pm
  9. This is really good, and a good point! I’m glad you have your babies!

    Like

    Posted by behindthemaskofabuse | July 16, 2013, 3:27 pm
  10. I wouldnt have taken my advice anyway… that will never change ;)

    Like

    Posted by tinkerbelle86 | July 16, 2013, 3:34 pm
  11. So true, TD. Great post/advice!

    Like

    Posted by jack joseph's mom | July 16, 2013, 3:46 pm
  12. Very well said! We can’t regret what has made us who we are

    Like

    Posted by Is Everyone an Idiot but Me? | July 16, 2013, 3:54 pm
  13. Love the post. I wouldn’t want to change anything except trusting someone who hurt my child. I would at least try to warn me off that one person. My children are grown and were able to learn from some of my mistakes and made better decisions. I am who I am because of all the ups and downs. I wouldn’t want to not make any changes that might have led me to miss out on my three great kids! Thanks for a great post.

    Like

    Posted by crimsonowl63 | July 16, 2013, 4:01 pm
  14. Might be a good idea to leave a note for your future self though, to remind you of things you might forget.

    Like

    Posted by El Guapo | July 16, 2013, 4:37 pm
  15. I wouldn’t have listened to myself anyway.

    Like

    Posted by goldfish | July 16, 2013, 4:51 pm
  16. Yessssss! I was saying this exact thing just the other day, but perhaps not as eloquently. Yes in hindsight my marriage may have been a mistake, but if I hadn’t made that mistake I wouldn’t have my three precious babies. They are everything to me. And I wouldn’t be who I am. I might be better, or worse, who knows? But my kids are my world and all the mist steps in the universe are worth it because they are here.The world is a better place with them in it. I loved this post. Not the bride you were looking for was subtle. But giggle worthy. Kudos on that one.

    Like

    Posted by stephrogers | July 16, 2013, 5:33 pm
  17. So very true. Everything we’ve done in our past gives us the perspective we have today. I feel conflicted about wanting to change things that were very painful, but I wouldn’t want to alter anything that leads to where I am now. Well said.

    Like

    Posted by mamarific | July 16, 2013, 5:36 pm
  18. I have written about this on my blog. I both agree and disagree .. I wouldn’t go back and give too much advice, I’d go back and more or less apologize for some of the shit I put myself through … howev’s … I completely agree with you on NOT being the person we are today, had we diverted from our path.

    “Without all of the mistakes made, the hard lessons learned, we would not be who we are. We would not have what we have today.”

    Love that wisdom! You are so right!

    XO

    Like

    Posted by Jen | July 16, 2013, 5:55 pm
  19. (I am loving the new look of your space!! … It looks so great TD!! :)

    Like

    Posted by Jen | July 16, 2013, 5:56 pm
  20. I LOVE this post because I always say that I am ALL the parts that make me whole. I love the new look too or maybe it’s not that new and I’ve just been visiting from my cellphone lately? Either way, it looks great!

    Like

    Posted by littlemisswordy | July 16, 2013, 8:51 pm
  21. You are very wise. I agree 100%, for every action there is a reaction. If you went back, who knows what would have happened?

    Like

    Posted by 1jaded1 | July 16, 2013, 9:05 pm
  22. If I had met my younger self, I would tell me to buy a ton of Apple stock. Other than that, I wouldn’t change a thing.

    Like

    Posted by List of X | July 17, 2013, 2:09 am
  23. Every decision had its context and circumstances. You wouldn’t have made those exact decisions if something had been different. If you would be your younger self and read that letter, you probably would still do the smae, no? Because it seemed the best thing to do at that moment? And because you don’t believe someone can send you a letter from the future?
    If I would say something, I’d tell myself I don’t have to worry. I’ve been worried over quite some things that ended up well all along, and I would like to say ‘hey, don’t worry, it’ll work out’.

    Like

    Posted by No Blog Intended | July 17, 2013, 5:00 am
  24. I second the motion^^
    My Da always says that if he could change the past, he’d make all his mistakes sooner. If we’d made our mistakes sooner, would that make us different people than we are today? I can’t decide…

    Like

    Posted by bardictale | July 17, 2013, 6:37 am
  25. we are the sum of our mistakes, but they don’t have to define us and that doesn’t mean we’d necessarily be better off without having made them. great ecard!! so wise.

    Like

    Posted by icescreammama | July 17, 2013, 8:46 am
  26. Okay, I realize this is taking your interesting, well-thought-out piece and going in a silly, flippant direction, BUT: one of my favorite getting-to-know-you questions is – “If you could make a phone call to 15-year-old you, and you only had 60 seconds to talk (not enough time to prove it’s really you), what would you say?” It takes that reductio ad absurdum of regret and “I just wish I could tell myself” and puts it in a new light. A less grief-stricken, less paralytic light and it becomes, “Cut the crap: what’s the one core thing you want to know, and that you’d listen to?” Because most of the time, people come up with some version of “You’re going to be okay.”

    Like

    Posted by The Byronic Man | July 17, 2013, 10:18 am
  27. My younger life was a series of what some might call mistakes. But without all the adventures… what the hell would I write about now?

    Like

    Posted by pouringmyartout | July 17, 2013, 10:41 am
  28. I think it’s human nature to get somewhat caught up in what we regret and hold on to the fact that maybe if we regret it harder we’ll improve our lives as a result. Makes absolutely no sense. I agree with what you wrote on the post card. When we live in the past we just take steps backwards or to the side, but never forward. If our past is what has made us who we are today and you want to change that, work on the present, the possible, and not the past, the impossible. Great post

    Like

    Posted by poohbauer | July 17, 2013, 3:10 pm
  29. I don’t regret my past, I definitely feel that even the most crappy and painful of experiences have made me the person I am today, and I like that person. But I would probably have an advice for my younger self, and it would come in the form of my favorite saying “A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.” I think fear of the unknown and fear of not living up to various expectations are the two reasons why we don’t reach our true full potential in life.

    Like

    Posted by russianmartini | July 17, 2013, 3:17 pm
  30. This is an amazing post, TD, and I completely know the sentiment you describe in it. There have been so many times where I’ve pondered whether I’d go back in time and change things or warn my past self about the hard times that were coming. But each time, I always think to myself that I wouldn’t get to the point where C and B were a part of my life if I avoided those trials and hardships. They are all worth it. Your perspective is crystal clear, my friend. Congratulations on Freshly Pressed; I am so glad I took a vacation from my vacation for long enough to catch it!

    Like

    Posted by The Waiting | July 17, 2013, 3:20 pm
  31. Me too. If I’d written my younger self, she not only wouldn’t believe it, but probably would run away in fear…

    Like

    Posted by nataliedeyoung | July 17, 2013, 3:45 pm
  32. And there’s nothing to say that your ‘older wiser person choices’ would result in a better path – just a different path. We stumble and fall – and good things come from it. Like three adorable babies.

    Like

    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | July 17, 2013, 3:51 pm
  33. And congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!!

    Like

    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | July 17, 2013, 3:52 pm
  34. I have no kids or spouse, so yes, I’d gladly go back four or five years, decide not to enter 4-year college, go to Florida in April, and be debt free today! I might even have a better career if I’d stayed another year in community college and let Wreckford College decay around one less student. Still, I did enjoy my time there, which is more than a lot of people can (honestly) say for their alma mater. I participated in a play and helped and learned from people from all walks of life. It was a good experience, just not worthwhile when compared with the alternatives.

    Like

    Posted by pezcita | July 17, 2013, 4:44 pm
  35. What a neat blog. Was this hard to write?

    Like

    Posted by segmation | July 17, 2013, 5:00 pm
  36. That’s pretty legit. I completely agree, I know I am who I am today because of what I’ve done and who I’ve been before. I haven’t been perfect, but I’ve been 100% me. I have no regrets for life.

    Like

    Posted by TR August | July 17, 2013, 5:43 pm
  37. Brilliance and truth combined!! Congrats on FP…..your mind continues to impress!!

    Like

    Posted by Polysyllabic Profundities | July 17, 2013, 6:44 pm
  38. This was exactly what I needed an evening as this. Thanks. :-)

    Like

    Posted by acet03 | July 17, 2013, 7:03 pm
  39. I feel the same, but not sure that I’ve thought the same. I’m glad you put this into words.

    Like

    Posted by bravesmartbold | July 17, 2013, 7:07 pm
  40. I would tell my grade school self, “Go ahead and bloody her nose. You won’t get in nearly as much trouble as you think you will and you’ll feel better than you have in your whole battered and bullied life. Then, keep on kicking ass heroically, figuratively, discretely until the day you die.”

    Like

    Posted by allthoughtswork | July 17, 2013, 7:24 pm
  41. TD – happy to see this post FP’d as I love it. It really speaks to me and the journey I have been on. As you may know from my Black Box Warnings post, maybe I should want to change some of the choices I have made in life. But I wouldn’t, becasue they are what makes me uniquely me. Although I don’t have the wonderful kids you do, I can still relate.

    Like

    Posted by Daile | July 17, 2013, 8:15 pm
  42. We all make mistakes. Its what we learn from them thats important. Cheers…..

    Like

    Posted by ebandorg | July 17, 2013, 9:24 pm
  43. I love this!! I know I definitely had my fair share of screw-up moments when I was younger (Especially 17… that was a rough year to say the least!) But I have always said exactly what you just did, I wouldn’t change a thing b/c as sucky as some of those moments were, I might not be where I am today if I had done things differently! Kudos to you! LOVE! I am newer to blogging, I would love some feedback from someone more established like yourself if you ever have a chance and would like to check out any of my blogs I always appreciate feedback!! :) http://designbyallit.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/the-why-generation/ Thank you!!!

    Like

    Posted by designbyallit | July 17, 2013, 9:30 pm
  44. Great advice and great philosophy.

    I’m rapidly approaching 40 and dealing with a failed engineering career that failed due to two failed marriages to bad choices.

    For better or worse, I am who I am today because of accumulation of successes and mistakes over the years.

    Keep blogging!

    Like

    Posted by Me Mother was a Mermaid | July 17, 2013, 9:34 pm
  45. Congrats on the FP! :-D

    Like

    Posted by djmatticus | July 17, 2013, 9:36 pm
  46. Reblogged this on Everyday-What people want! and commented:
    This is exactly what people should be thinking… Dont regret the past, as the past is what made you the person you are today… just learn from it.

    Like

    Posted by cmacp5 | July 17, 2013, 9:55 pm
  47. Great post. I’ve learned that if you were to change ANYTHING, you’d change EVERYTHING. Plus most things you go thru are more inconvenience than tragic. My son was cut from his HS soccer team. It hurt like hell…for 2 days. Afterwards, I’ve Never seen him work so hard at anything and is looking so forward to trying out again. It’d be criminal to take what he learned about life and himself from him just so he would feel better. Congrats on being FP!

    Like

    Posted by Phillip White | July 17, 2013, 9:55 pm
  48. Great post! It’s so true I only have 12 years of experience but I wouldn’t change a thing! You seem to have gone through a lot but have come out in a good place!
    Hannah

    Like

    Posted by hrt123 | July 17, 2013, 10:25 pm
  49. Great post. My husband loves that song talking about the same idea ‘ If I Could Write a Letter to Me’ (Brad Paisley). Reminds me of the movie Disney’s The Kid – kinda the same idea. But I love your confidence in who you are and who you have become because of your past. That is a serene and secure place to me. As an indecisive perfectionist, lol, that is a place I’m still on my way, too. But thanks for the much needed encouragement!

    Like

    Posted by Kate | July 17, 2013, 10:25 pm
  50. Totally agree. Well-written. Everything. Happens. For. A. Reason.

    Like

    Posted by androrono | July 17, 2013, 11:16 pm
  51. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!! I love this post. I’m with you completely on this. Life is but a journey, and if we made different decisions, we might be on an entirely different path and our current life could be something altogether different. I think it takes letting go to accept your life and be thankful for what’s in front of you. So sweet about your kids. They couldn’t be anyone else, right?

    Like

    Posted by The Bumble Files | July 17, 2013, 11:39 pm
  52. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! If I had gotten a letter from my future self at 17, I’m pretty sure the only thing I would have thought is “Holy Crap Time Travel!!!”

    Like

    Posted by Janelle Weibelzahl | July 17, 2013, 11:42 pm
  53. Nice post. I have collected some of rare photos about women’s life during world war 2. See, how america government used to motivate their women to join the war with them. Check out the video and much more information about how women in america contributed their part during world war 2. I invite you to visit my blog at http://ronwatson.wordpress.com/

    Like

    Posted by ronwatson | July 18, 2013, 12:28 am
  54. well said – if we changed our past, we will not be who we are today and lose essence of us. all the best to your lovely twins and congratulations on being freshly pressed.

    Like

    Posted by moodsnmoments | July 18, 2013, 12:40 am
  55. I totally agree with what you’ve said. We all have our shares of mistakes, but we won’t be ourselves without them. Without mistakes, we won’t be learning anything. Sure, life would be a lot easier, but then it won’t be worth living anymore. It’s all part of the process of becoming who we are now. Of course, there are mistakes that when done, we won’t be able to stand up from them. But there are also mistakes that would form a better us in some way. And these, are the mistakes worth making.

    Like

    Posted by littlemissdaydreamer | July 18, 2013, 12:44 am
  56. Reblogged this on contentconservative.

    Like

    Posted by aver1 | July 18, 2013, 1:20 am
  57. Well said…

    Like

    Posted by aver1 | July 18, 2013, 1:23 am
  58. Well done on being Freshly Pressed – and great timing too. I’m having a real off day today and this blog has helped put things back into perspective for me, so, thank you.

    I would like permission to use your ecard, please? It’s extremely fitting to why I’m having an off day.

    Like

    Posted by mynuttydubai | July 18, 2013, 3:08 am
  59. I have been contemplating doing a post on what I would say to my younger self, and what I could change if I could, and after reading your post, I’m no longer going to. Without all of the dumbass decisions and choices that I’ve made in my short 27 years, I wouldn’t have my husband, I wouldn’t have my daughter, and I wouldn’t have had all of these amazing life lessons along the way. Yes, life has slapped me around something proper, but I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing.

    Thank-you!

    Like

    Posted by wannabepoet | July 18, 2013, 3:56 am
  60. This is a really beautiful post. You’re right: the experiences we have in life – both good and bad – shape us and make us who we are. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.

    Like

    Posted by Grace @ Cultural Life | July 18, 2013, 4:17 am
  61. ~ What a wonderful and honest post! Even before, I used to think that what has to happen will happen anyway so it is better just to live our lives free and spontaneous without being too safe or without having to worry what would happen to us! So me too, I would not change anything. :) From your post, I can sense that you’ve been through a lot and though there are lots of adversities, you’re still brave to go through life and enjoy your journey. Yours is a nice example of a ‘real’ life — a life that is lived and learned. However, if for example you took that ‘opportunity,’ I bet that the life you have now is the life you would dream of having and not that past life full of safety nets. So stuph, stuph, congrats on being FP and more power! Cheers to you and to your present self! ;) – Bliss, The Lurker’s List

    Like

    Posted by bliss steps | July 18, 2013, 4:28 am
  62. Neither would I. No place/time for regrets. Lessons learnt, move ahead

    Like

    Posted by jayantadeepa | July 18, 2013, 5:14 am
  63. Often I hear people say; IF only I could go back in time. OR If I knew then, what I know NOW(I’ve personally used that line..) When WE say or think those things; we forget that the beautiful things, children!, experiences we’d miss out on..if we could skipped the jacked up events/instances/experiences. Life however , thankfully, isn’t designed that way. And its my belief its designed that way on purpose. Its a Life Journey..A lovely, learning, lesson in which we gain strength by being survivors. Least thats the way I see it. And? I couldn’t agree more with what you’ve said. I love ME also; and waded through quite alot of shiiiite to get to this fabulous point in my life journey. 2 thumbs UP on your write..

    Like

    Posted by bernasvibe | July 18, 2013, 5:46 am
  64. Great post.

    Like

    Posted by Ellen Nguyen | July 18, 2013, 6:36 am
  65. Mistakes is always made by humans, so it’s not possible that if we go back in our past then we will not make any mistake.

    Like

    Posted by weebs & deeps | July 18, 2013, 7:13 am
  66. Reblogged this on rwdrwd and commented:

    test

    Like

    Posted by Dan Woodroffe | July 18, 2013, 7:39 am
  67. Well done on being Freshly Pressed – and great timing too. I’m having a real off day today and this blog has helped put things back into perspective for me, so, thank you.

    http://www.bayofhealth.wordpress.com
    must visit
    a way towards a healthy life…

    Like

    Posted by muhammadhariskhan | July 18, 2013, 8:14 am
  68. I do feel that where we have been

    And what we have been through

    Is what brings is to who we are now

    Sometimes you can not throw out the bath water with the baby
    And should not try to do so

    Like

    Posted by Anonymous | July 18, 2013, 8:36 am
  69. Likewise!! If I were to write an e-card it would say “This moment in time is perfect in the overall intention for my life”. Regrets are a waste of energy.

    Like

    Posted by theharmonycc | July 18, 2013, 9:39 am
  70. Right on! Children are worth whatever crap you had to go through just to get them.

    Besides, if we had to go through that kind of crap, why should we make it any easier on a version of us from an alternate timeline?

    Like

    Posted by The Cutter | July 18, 2013, 10:05 am
  71. Hahahaha. Enjoyed your story and the comments below a lot. ;)

    Like

    Posted by Raheel Farooq | July 18, 2013, 10:40 am
  72. Reblogged this on Walk Away!.

    Like

    Posted by rakshnna | July 18, 2013, 11:18 am
  73. Children do put everything into perspective. Grandchildren give it more meaning and complete the circle of life.

    Like

    Posted by awax1217 | July 18, 2013, 11:31 am
  74. Love this post! There have been moments when I wished my younger self knew what I know now because she’d do things differently… and a different kind of mess would ensue. So I agree with you. I am also fairly sure my younger self would not listen to a word I said and would do exactly what I did. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    Posted by anupturnedsoul | July 18, 2013, 11:58 am
  75. Good post. You’re spot on – too many people wish to avoid the difficult aspects of life but it’s those things that can bring about real beauty. It’s a difficult perspective to attain, almost impossible when we’re going through life’s garbage. It’s usually when we’re on the other side looking back that we can say, “You know, I’m really a better person now for having suffered and survived.”

    Thx for posting.

    Like

    Posted by pastorlinzey | July 18, 2013, 12:19 pm
  76. Very well said. I used to think like that woman too until I realized that maybe all those mistakes were meant to be.

    Like

    Posted by dumbandgenius | July 18, 2013, 3:13 pm
  77. I have often thought about this myself, Im so glad you wrote this. Some things I wish I could change sooooo badly but then, like you said, I may not be the person I am today because of those things. So instead I accept my mistakes because they rounded my edges :) We are better people because of our regrets.

    Like

    Posted by hispromiseistrue | July 18, 2013, 3:52 pm
  78. Our mistakes in life teaches us but we do get our rewards in the form of our children and there is no substitute for that.

    Like

    Posted by sheenmeem | July 18, 2013, 4:01 pm
  79. Thank you for posting that! It is great idea to think about, that your past mader your present self and if you change your past you would never be the same again.

    Like

    Posted by digintodailies | July 18, 2013, 5:36 pm
  80. It does always come back to my kids for me! Earlier today i was considering writing letters to them and myself to be opened 15 years from now, when I might forget what fabulous ideas I think I have now. ;)

    Like

    Posted by Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me | July 18, 2013, 5:55 pm
  81. I’ve thought about this a lot myself: if I could go back and do it all again, what decisions would I make differently? I also answer “none”. Although the grass always seems greener, and I might wish I’d studied something else, or not acted so hastily from time to time, I have no idea whether or not I would have come to regret those alternative decisions, either. What I can do, though, is learn from the past and understand why I have some of these regrets.

    But there are three subsequent challenges: finding the courage to accept and enjoy where you’ve ended up; finding the courage to risk what you’ve got to find ‘fulfilment’ elsewhere if you can’t accept where you’ve found yourself; and knowing how to pass this on to your children.

    I don’t have kids yet, but when I do, there will be this terrible temptation to assume I know what’s best for them, want to instil this knowledge and advice into them, and hope they listen. However, what’s best for me may not be best for them, and I trust I’ll learn that in time, too. Instead, I aim to lead by example, and hope they discover that success and happiness come from finding enjoyment in what you’re doing now, rather than looking at others or back at previous success and failure and making comparisons.

    Really nice post!

    Like

    Posted by theunforgivingminuteuk | July 18, 2013, 6:51 pm
  82. This is a really good piece of writing. Although I’m quite young, I already feel this is how it should be. I’ve already made mistakes or been through not-so-pretty things, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. We’ve done what we’ve done. We are who we are. The best thing to do is learn from it and grow as a person and appreciate everything we have now as a consequence. Thanks for sharing this blog :)

    Like

    Posted by lucykfry | July 18, 2013, 9:19 pm
  83. This is wonderfully encouraging. Thank you for your perspective on this! :)

    Like

    Posted by kirichan123 | July 19, 2013, 4:15 am
  84. really great post! and so true. we might want to change things we’ve done i our past because we think they were bad decisions, but as you said they made the person we are today, and we don’t know how our life would be influenced by changing only small things in our past, it’s might not worth the risk! totally agree :)

    Like

    Posted by Nadia | July 19, 2013, 6:58 am
  85. interesting facts..

    Like

    Posted by Justin Cecil | July 19, 2013, 8:10 am
  86. Loved the simplicity of it.
    A confused teenager going back reassured :)

    Like

    Posted by nimishaanant | July 19, 2013, 8:25 am
  87. I wholeheartedly agree!! I have the exact same outlook. A book I read, The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews, helped me with this insight. That no matter how I twist it or turn it, I am who I am today because of decisions I have made in my past (good or bad). I was 17 when I had my first child and had I been “wiser”, I would not have any of my three children either because I would not have gotten involved with their father. We live and we learn. Life is about living through a myriad of experiences and we must experience the “bad stuph” in order to even know (and appreciate) when we’re experiencing something good! Great post!

    Like

    Posted by josierenae | July 19, 2013, 8:49 am
  88. Beautifully written, thanks for sharing! I completely agree with you. There are bad things that happen, and even though they don’t always have a “bright side”, they turn us into the person we are- and we shouldn’t want to risk changing that. It’s funny I’m reading this now, because a similar topic came up in my bible study this morning.
    http://stepstochangetheworld.wordpress.com/

    Like

    Posted by ChangeTheWorld | July 19, 2013, 10:03 am
  89. The depth of the post lies in the candid confession that the rosiness of the present is not all about the negation of the past as we have not landed here out of the blue. Reading the post makes me feel as if I hear the utterances of a traveller along the corridor of poise. A great post one would not forget easily.

    Like

    Posted by maverickkajal | July 19, 2013, 10:05 am
  90. Wow this is great!! So true, no regrets ^_^

    Like

    Posted by LovePlush | July 19, 2013, 12:23 pm
  91. Better late then never, right?

    I completely agree. Without having those mistakes in our past we would probably be unable to help those that may be going through the same situations. Good job.

    Like

    Posted by Brother Jon | July 19, 2013, 3:39 pm
  92. Outstanding piece! Well written and on point. Awesome.

    Like

    Posted by Justin Caouette | July 19, 2013, 9:42 pm
  93. Reblogged this on atheer0n and commented:
    Your words made me think , I think im gonna send an email though future me to tell my older wiser self not to regret any of my actions because those stupid stuff i did and those experiences i had , those are the things that made me the person i am today and im gonna thank myself for understanding

    Like

    Posted by Atheer.N | July 20, 2013, 7:11 am
  94. Hi there, to the present you.

    I feel that I actually am having conversations with my younger self every time I reread my diaries from way back then to present day. And what I have realized dozens of times while rereading my diaries, is that I shouldn´t underestimate my younger self´s. I am amazed by how clever I actually was when I did make some mistakes/choices that led me to who I am today. When I read all the arguments and pondering´s I did before I made the major choices,I am still suprised over how smart I was during the thinking process but stupid or smart when it came to the actions…. All my choices was more depending on my guts and bravery or pain based emotions rather than how clever I was when I made my choices. And that still counts today: it all still depends on how much I trust my self and how confident I am when I make good choices, not on how smart I am…..

    When I reread myself, I feel that I am decreasing in intelligence for everyday that goes, cause I am thinking in habitual ways instead of really being more than ever critical to my own thinking process….back then I was at least doubting my self and that led to great thoughts…meeting my younger self has learned me, the present me, a great more deal than the other way around.

    I believe in never underestimating the past of our self´s….cause sometimes you can be stupider now than you once were….or so I have learned.

    Have a wonderful present!

    Like

    Posted by skildring | July 20, 2013, 4:09 pm
    • Sometimes I wish I had kept a diary or journal all these years so I could look back sometimes and remember what the hell I was thinking.

      Like

      Posted by twindaddy | July 20, 2013, 4:15 pm
      • It´s not too late….you still can write all your´e thought´s now to your´e future self! And believe me, the future “you” will forever be grateful for sharing your present thought´s now. ;-)

        Like

        Posted by skildring | July 20, 2013, 4:21 pm
        • Well, that’s kind of what I do here.

          Like

          Posted by twindaddy | July 20, 2013, 4:22 pm
          • It´s not the same imo…I also blog in Norwegian and have readers who are either opponents or agreeing to me…and of course it is cool to have a crowd to please so you self can be pleased by being read/seen for what you have to say to the world. But writing truly to your´e eyes only, is profound. For me, I am more honest and truthful when I write to my self only, cause then I won´t censor anything…it is not for the sake of entertaining anyone nor get anyone´s opinions. It is truly to your future self, no one else. Try it.

            Take care of your self and future self´s!

            Like

            Posted by skildring | July 20, 2013, 4:28 pm
          • I have a private blog where I let it all fly, but I don’t censor myself here, either. I’m honest about pretty much everything here. I’m honest about my feelings and my mistakes and my thinking.

            Like

            Posted by twindaddy | July 20, 2013, 4:30 pm
  95. I agree with you. i would give myself no advice. I have learned so much from me past and i would not be the strong person i am now . I have 3 beautiful kids and a new man in my life i would never want to give up. I would suffer every heart ache and pain to just be where i am today ..

    Like

    Posted by stardancer372013 | July 20, 2013, 9:40 pm
  96. These are some of the sweetest words I’ve read: “I would gladly make the same mistakes over again just to ensure that I end up with my babies. Such is my love for them.” I feel that way about my kids!
    I agree and disagree about warning our younger selves. I would give myself advice about certain things, but not everything for sure. Some events (painful as they were), made me who I am today! Great post!

    Like

    Posted by ButterfliesWithin | July 21, 2013, 2:06 am
  97. Very well said. I know my 17 year-old self would not have really listened to any wisdom I were to impart any way. I do hope and pray that I can help my own children avoid making the same mistakes I made, and make and will make. My mistakes are my own, let them make their own unique mistakes. And if they do make the same mistakes I’ve made I hope I can help them recover from the consequences, or at least be understanding and not judgmental of their stupidity.

    Like

    Posted by overoptimisticmom | July 21, 2013, 11:27 pm
  98. I think it’s rather interesting that no matter what knocks you down, most people (at least from my perspective) seem to accept who they are. Would you say that giving advice to our younger selves would make us envious? Seeing the “success” we could have had might be too much for our current selves to handle, so we accept who we are? This is going a bit over the top, but I’m just wondering why exactly people, such as myself, wouldn’t want to trade away the past for a different one.
    Nonetheless, this is a great post and it really made me feel more accepting with myself as a person. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    Posted by gotdangos | July 22, 2013, 3:41 am
  99. TD,
    Very well said my friend; and definitely front page material.
    I had my kids and three grandkids over yesterday. The depth of gratitude for learning from, and appreciating my choices increases every time I see them.
    Congrats to you on so many levels.
    Red

    Like

    Posted by SocietyRed | July 22, 2013, 7:09 am
  100. Beautifully said! As someone who has lived through years of abuse I am learning to be thankful for it. I wouldn’t have my 4 children if I didn’t have that legalistic father and I wouldn’t have the heart for divorced single parents or abused children if I hadn’t endured my past. Most importantly I know that God loves me not just because of what I’ve done right but also because of what I’ve done wrong. He takes my mistakes and uses them against the one who intended to destroy me with my ignorance. Besides it’s not wrong if I didn’t know it was wrong, it was simply a life lesson and I wouldn’t learn if I never swung the bat. I may strike out but the home run I get because I never gave up makes it all worth it.

    Like

    Posted by striving4virtue | July 22, 2013, 10:51 pm
  101. love your article.. very true indeed..

    Like

    Posted by oltutorials | July 22, 2013, 11:33 pm
  102. Somehow, I find you arguments are right but I have one or two things I would like to tell my younger self. I have been wondering when time machine will come to existence.
    Your post gives me an inspiration to write the same topic as you did here. I’m going to write about this topic soon. Thanks.

    Like

    Posted by anwar | July 22, 2013, 11:38 pm
  103. I see I’m late to this FP party! Way to write, twindaddy.

    Like

    Posted by denmother | July 23, 2013, 10:36 pm
  104. This is all quite interesting! I’ve often pondered the idea of being able to warn my future self about events to come and such. We actually did an exercise in seventh grade where we wrote a letter to ourselves in the future. Little did we know that our teacher kept that and gave it to us during senior breakfast on graduation week. It was really interesting to see how we had grown, but stayed the same. This is kind of the opposite direction of this post, but kind of the same idea. :)

    Like

    Posted by smittythestudent | July 24, 2013, 11:49 pm
  105. I love how you have a positive outlook on everything in your past. It’s reassuring to know that someone has the same outlook on life. Yes, your decisions may have caused you heartache but the gain from it is worth it. Very well thought out. Kudos.

    Like

    Posted by thiskindredspirit | July 25, 2013, 12:55 am
  106. I’m so glad to read about someone else feeling this way! Sure, I’ve made a ton of mistakes in my life but I wouldn’t change them, I wouldn’t take them back. Even now in a difficult place in life, I wouldn’t undo the things that got me here or warn my younger self. If I were to change any of my mistakes everything could change and I still have so much that I wouldn’t want to lose.

    Like

    Posted by wholenewbeebee | August 1, 2013, 11:56 pm
  107. Your post caught my eye as I am too am scolding my younger self lol. The power of hindsight is intense. Your words run true and for all the pain and heartache we human beings put ourselves through we always need to shed positive light and learn from our mistakes. I really enjoyed your post.

    Like

    Posted by gotthebeautybug | August 6, 2013, 6:42 pm
  108. Great read. I agree, even with my lotta nuthin.’ I like the person I am, for the most part…

    Like

    Posted by godtisx | August 6, 2013, 10:54 pm
  109. I wouldn’t advise my young self on anything either, the fact is I know I wouldn’t listened to me either. Back then everyone was stupid and crazy and didn’t understand. And I am pretty sure that would include any advice from my older self.

    Like

    Posted by jazzytower | August 16, 2013, 11:01 pm
  110. Reblogged this on RavelBabe and commented:
    you hit the point, great thoughts:)

    Like

    Posted by jeannaraja | September 25, 2013, 2:14 am
  111. I agree with you! Mistakes or bad decisions are experiences we should all learn from. They make us who we are. I can recognize a controlling guys from far away…
    I learned and didn’t make the same mistake twice. I wouldn’t advice my younger self to do anything differently. I got hurt but it built up who I am!

    Like

    Posted by Pascale LeBrasseur | September 25, 2013, 8:26 pm

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pingback: Sandra yang dulu… | tilt & spill - July 18, 2013

  2. Pingback: letter to my younger self | Reunion - July 24, 2013

  3. Pingback: An Opportunity I Wouldn’t Take | atbankofdam - July 30, 2013

  4. Pingback: When I Was 21 | Stuphblog - March 23, 2014

We don't tolerate scum.

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

About these ads

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Out of the Darkness

Please click here to donate

Support #rawrLove

Click the pic to see how you can buy this and other #rawrLove products and support our beloved Rawra.

Support Our Bloggers!

Blog for Mental Health

Blog for Mental Health

Follow Twindaddy!

Twindaddy on Twitter! Twindaddy on G+!

Bloglovin’!

Follow on Bloglovin

Don't have enough junk in your email? Not to worry, we can help! Click the link below to have even more stuph sent to your inbox.

Join 4,406 other followers

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 4,406 other followers

%d bloggers like this: