I know Twindaddy has the market cornered on twins and funny stories, but I have to share a bit of nonsense that happened yesterday.
I really don’t like to admit this, but I’m absentminded. For example, I’ve paid for gas and two miles away, I’m looking at the gauge and asking myself why the needle is still on E, as I’m furiously turning a U-ie back to the gas station, and hoping I don’t run out. Care to guess why?
I’ve also cursed the red, sub-compact car, that I saw out of the corner of my eye, when my key wouldn’t fit in the lock. Again, I bet you’ll never guess why.
As much as I don’t care to admit my folly, when it’s done, it’s done. I inject self-deprecation into the mix. After all, if you are making fun of me, you are not making fun of someone who doesn’t deserve it. Yay!
You are probably asking what this has to do with twins. Well, sit back and let me share.
One of my coworkers was showing us a picture of him and his brother. They are two years apart and their parents dressed them like twins. They actually LOOKED like twins with similar stature, coloring, and other features. Aww, how cute!
When I was a kid, my grandmother had a habit of buying matching outfits for my sister and me, ala twin style. The problem is that even though the attire was identical, we weren’t. I’m short, with dark hair and eyes. My sister is tall, with blond hair and blue eyes.. It’s absolutely SHOCKING that no one took us for twins. What gives?
When I first moved here, I worked in the boonies. It was fairly mundane, but these twins worked onsite and made it lively. They dressed identically, right down to the polka dots, lace and ruffles. Even their lunch boxes matched. One was named Dionn. The other was named Dionne. Hey, you gotta tell them apart somehow, right? They were so sweet and I worked with them closely, but I could never tell them apart. When I moved to the city, instant messaging became my best friend when dealing with those two. I’m now back in the boonies. Sadly, D almost squared moved out of state.
Yesterday, as we were exchanging twin stories, my coworkers started chuckling about the cleaning ladies and comparing them to D almost squared. I was very confused, which made them laugh even harder, because I didn’t know. I asked which one they were talking about, which sent them into fits.
As one of my coworkers recovered, she began describing. The lady was 4’8, had grey hair, always wore a blue denim smock and pushed a cart that was almost as tall as she was. I was incredulous. I’m like, wait…there are TWO of them? That put them into a tailspin of laughter. I always was amazed at how fast this lady moved from building to building. Now I know why. By this time I was almost peeing myself, but there is more.
My coworker told me not to feel bad as she told us HER story. When she started with the company, she saw one of the ladies and said her hellos. As she booked from building one, to building three, she turned the corner. As she turned the corner, in a building that was almost a quarter mile away, she saw the exact same lady. She swears that she almost passed out.
When she returned to her department, she asked her boss what the Hell? What the Hell? Her boss (who was also her friend) asked her if she was really that stupid. Her boss said, “they are twins, stupid”.
Now I don’t feel so bad.