Yah, it has been an epidemic around here.
This past weekend, I went to the doctor. I never go to the doctor and to do so indicated a requirement to do so. For privacy, and mad libs purposes, let’s just say I had my (body part) (verb, past tense)…and let’s pick colon scoped. This is totally arbitrary and isn’t the point of this post. My grandpa survived colon cancer so I don’t feel bad picking those two options. Besides, after having to pay what the insurance didn’t, I feel bufu’d, and my colon hurts.
I haven’t had my colon scoped in 9 years. In the past couple of months, I’ve had symptoms that made me realize I should probably change that. I was very apprehensive because I don’t know or trust anyone here.
In that spirit, I asked some guy crossing the street if he could recommend a doctor. He was wearing purple shoes. I continued my quest and asked some lady with lime green hair and fangs the same question. Of course, her recommendation was totally different. I didn’t expect anything less. So, I flipped a coin. The lady with fangs won. Hey, when it comes to your colon, you can’t be too careful, right?
I went to the doctor. On the referral section, I put Lady with lime green hair and fangs. I didn’t know her name. The doctor said, “Oh! I know her well. She is so nice”…Sweet! My coin made the right choice.
The scope detected polyps, which will need to be addressed, with surgery, at some point in the future. It confirmed my suspicion. She told me that I was way too young to have this. I explained that it ran in my family. Oh well. Then it came.
“Well, you know, the lady with the lime green hair and fangs…her mom also had this at a young age.”…The record scratched…No, I didn’t know. No, I didn’t care to know. I felt sick to my stomach. It was probably an innocuous error in judgement, but it breached privacy. I was so hoping that wouldn’t happen, but it did. We finished up business, and I left.
Equally disturbing, were the reactions of a couple of people to whom I mentioned this. Am I being way too sensitive? Um no. The condition of that lady’s colon is none of my business, even if her daughter referred me to the doctor.
/rant even though I’m still fuming about the entire situation.