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Customer Service Fails

Customer Service Fails: Do you guys carry bras?

I went into retail straight out of high school. I stayed in that horrid industry for the next 14 years. During that time I witnessed copious amounts of stupidity. Sometimes, not surprisingly, that stupidity was my own.

Not long after I started working for the largest retail chain in the world, I was deemed trustworthy enough to run an entire department. By myself. Obviously these guys didn’t know that I could barely keep my room organized or balance a checkbook and they were going to give me an entire department to run? I guess my hard work, dedication, and massive intelligence duly impressed the management team. Or, as is more likely, I was the best of a plethora of unqualified candidates.

I was given the keys to the automotive department (get it? ha!), which would have been great if I had known the first thing about cars. At that point in my life the only thing I could successfully do to a car was fill it with gas and turn the ignition switch. Oh, and wreck it. I didn’t know the first thing about routine maintenance, car audio, or even how to properly apply a fresh coat of Turtle Wax®. I was, quite frankly, ill-equipped to perform this job. Luckily I’m a quick learner and within a couple of months I could adequately answer questions about the products we carried.

During those first couple of months, however, there were some growing pains. Not long after I accepted the position I was out on the sales floor placing orders for motor oil when a tall gentleman dressed simply in a flannel shirt and a pair of worn blue jeans approached me with an inquiry. “Do you guys carry bras?”

Of course we carry bras you dolt, this is the largest retail chain in the world. We carry everything! We have an entire lingerie department!

I was befuddled by the man’s question. I mean, I could answer it, but I wasn’t sure why he was asking me. In the motor oil aisle of all places. Shouldn’t he be asking someone in the apparel department? You know, where the clothes are? Where the underwear is? Furthermore, why is this man shopping for bras? Is he a cross-dresser? Am I in the presence of a weirdo?

Doing my best not to convey what an idiot I thought this man was with my tone, I timidly responded. “Yes, we carry bras, but they’re over in the lingerie department. . .”

“No, not those bras,” he replied.

I was stumped. What other kind of bras are there? What kind of ass have I just made of myself?

“I meant car bras,” he explained.

The utterly bewildered expression on my face must have betrayed the fact that I had absolutely no freakin’ clue what he was talking about because he continued. “You know, the things that go over the front of a car? Over the headlights?”

A car bra. Or is it simply a mask for your car to hide the shame it feels from hauling you around?

Somewhere deep in my cavernous mind a light bulb flickered to life. I finally knew what he was talking about. I immediately began wondering why in the hell they’re called bras. What a dumb name for something that goes on a car. Then, the shame of embarrassment began burning my cheeks and I very swiftly told him that, no, we don’t carry those kind of bras.

I then vanished as quickly as I could manage so that no one else could see my crimson cheeks or learn what I had just so ignorantly done.

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Discussion

72 thoughts on “Customer Service Fails: Do you guys carry bras?

  1. That’s a 78 Triple Z bra….

    Like

    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | October 28, 2013, 8:58 am
  2. Nice. lol

    Like

    Posted by merbear74 | October 28, 2013, 9:12 am
  3. Oh this made me giggle :) I think I would have also just stood there, and then most likely pulled out the strap of mine and asked if this is what he was looking for *giggles* :)

    Like

    Posted by wannabepoet | October 28, 2013, 9:39 am
  4. oh, that is funny. I would have said the same thing you did. lol

    Like

    Posted by deanabo | October 28, 2013, 9:44 am
  5. Sometimes being the least-worst candidate will still get you ahead. I’ve managed it now successfully for 21 years.

    Like

    Posted by BrainRants | October 28, 2013, 10:01 am
  6. Bahahaha! *ahem* Sorry, I mean how awful that must have been …

    Like

    Posted by C.K. Hope | October 28, 2013, 10:11 am
  7. Same happened to me when I was the OTC dept mgr except they asked for a personal massager,,,,I took them to the vibrating condoms. How was I to know they wanted a back massager, geesh!

    Like

    Posted by overitblogdotcom | October 28, 2013, 10:33 am
  8. Too funny LOL

    Like

    Posted by NotAPunkRocker | October 28, 2013, 10:38 am
  9. um… car mask would have been a much cooler name…

    Like

    Posted by pouringmyartout | October 28, 2013, 12:20 pm
  10. Now do you carry car tampons?

    Like

    Posted by pouringmyartout | October 28, 2013, 12:20 pm
  11. Just think: If you’d worked in the lingerie department you might have suggested a big woman needed a car bra.

    Like

    Posted by Elyse | October 28, 2013, 12:48 pm
  12. bawahahahaha!

    Like

    Posted by behindthemaskofabuse | October 28, 2013, 1:06 pm
  13. Does that come in lace? My car is girly.

    Like

    Posted by Ribbons Undone | October 28, 2013, 7:24 pm
  14. A car bra? Looks more like some kind of S&M leather mask for a car to me… But I don’t know much about cars either.

    Like

    Posted by List of X | October 29, 2013, 12:37 am
  15. OMG! A Mecca alum! I had no idea….

    This is why I work at night when we’re closed the majority of the time…

    Like

    Posted by evilsquirrel13 | October 29, 2013, 9:56 am
    • Yes. I spent roughly 14 years in that hell hole….

      Like

      Posted by Twindaddy | October 29, 2013, 9:58 am
      • It’ll be 15.5 for me next week, and counting. I stock Paper and Chemicals, where customers seem to leave a lot of bras abandoned after it came down to them either getting a new boulder holder or having clean laundry. I never wear my spiffy 15 year service badge because I want customers to just assume I’m some dumb newbie when I can’t answer their asinine questions…

        Like

        Posted by evilsquirrel13 | October 29, 2013, 10:02 am
        • I think I held every position in that place at some point. I used to make good money there, but then the fucked me over and took away a good chunk of my pay, so then I left. Fuck that place.

          Like

          Posted by Twindaddy | October 29, 2013, 10:05 am
          • Ugh! That’s what they want you to do, and it rarely works out well. I’ve stuck to doing one job the whole time I’ve been there and will cling to it as long as I don’t get similarly fucked over. A lot of that is just my tendency to not fix something that isn’t broke, but I think there is a bit more safety in staying put as well.

            Like

            Posted by evilsquirrel13 | October 29, 2013, 10:13 am
          • Well, I wasn’t going to stay there with 14 years of management experience while being paid slightly more than a new hire. Especially when I could got to a fast food joint and make more starting out. Fuck that. I fought it all the way to the regional personnel manager and was pretty much told “tough luck.” So I told them they sucked and that they just lost a damned good employee. There wasn’t much I couldn’t do in that place.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | October 29, 2013, 10:17 am
          • Wow. I have no rationale for that, and obviously don’t blame you. Fortunately, I’ve never heard of anything like that happening at my store before.

            Like

            Posted by evilsquirrel13 | October 29, 2013, 10:24 am
          • I hadn’t either. What I had heard about was long-time employees being coached for the dumbest shit so they would eventually get fired so that cheaper people could be hired.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | October 29, 2013, 11:42 am
  16. Well, I definitely thought he meant the feminine kind too!!

    Like

    Posted by GiggsMcGill Jill | October 29, 2013, 6:40 pm
  17. I learned about car bras from my brothers who talked cars all the time. Otherwise, I would not have known either.

    Like

    Posted by likeitiz | October 30, 2013, 9:10 am
  18. Thank you for making me laugh. Some people are a bit thick when they ask for stuff (because this item is definitely not worthy of being stuph) and don’t always think to explain what it is they actually want.

    Like

    Posted by faithhopechocolate | November 2, 2013, 5:53 am

We don't tolerate scum.

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