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Customer Service Fails

Customer Service Fails: …and a Back Rub

I don’t know if this technically qualifies as a customer service failure, since it was the customer who failed, not the employee. I’m going to tell it to you anyways. It was funny as hell.

During my senior year of high school, I worked a a Burger King down the street from school. I would go in right after school let out and work as long as I could under Kentucky law. Sunday through Thursday, as a minor, I was only allowed to work until a certain time because I had school the next morning. On Friday and Saturday, I was allowed to work later. Because of how late this took place, I’m going to have to say it happened on a Friday or Saturday night.

The location that I worked at had two headsets for the drive-thru. Those two headsets remained up front until around 8 every night, which is when the dinner rush ended. After that, one of the headsets is kept by the person running the drive-thru, while the other is given to the person making the burgers. That way, the person could start making the sandwiches as the order was being taken, thereby, getting the order out faster. On this particular night, I was the one making the sandwiches.

A beep went off in the headset, letting us know that someone was at the menu. My manager, who was running the drive-thru, welcomed them and asked them if they were ready to order. The man in the car, who sounded drunk, said that they needed a minute. After telling him to let her know when they were ready, my manager, and I, listened as the drunk sounding man told his friends how hot he thought my manager’s voice was.

I looked up at my manager, and she was just beaming, a smile from ear-to-ear. The drunk guy got back on a couple of seconds later and said he was ready to order. She told him to go ahead and he started calling out his order. “I’ll take 3 double cheeseburgers, 2 large fries, and 3 large drinks… and a back rub.”

I started laughing. She ignored it, and repeated back his food order. “Is that correct?”

“….and a back rub.”

Once again, she ignored it, told him his total, and instructed him to pull up to the window. I made the sandwiches quickly and ran up to the front. We didn’t have any other customers, so I was able to leave the sandwich station, and I started bagging the food. When we were slow, I used to do that so whoever was running the drive-thru could deal with the customer while I bagged the food. That way, we could get them out quicker. This time, however, it had the added bonus of letting me be there when the guy pulled up to the window.

She opened up the window, and before she could remind him of his total, he got a freaked out look on his face. “Oh God,” he exclaimed. “Nevermind. I don’t want no back rub from you!”

I lost it. I held in the laughter as best as I could and I took off towards the back. I got into the walk-in cooler, shut the door, and I laughed my ass off. Taking a minute to compose myself, I exited the cooler, reminding myself not to say anything, because the manager could fire me if she wanted to. It turns out, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have said anything to her anyways, as she was still arguing with the drunk man.

For some reason, she was not a fan of being told that she was too ugly to rub his back, so she told him to leave. He was drunk and we weren’t going to serve him. This didn’t sit well with him. He knew his food was ready and he wasn’t leaving without it. It probably would’ve gone on longer, but another manager, who had been counting tills in the office, came out and told the guy that if he didn’t leave, we were calling the cops. Apparently, his double cheeseburgers weren’t worth getting arrested for DUI, because he took off quickly after that.

I was a smartass back then (I know. Hard to believe, right?), and it took all my willpower to not say something to my manager about being so ugly that even beer goggles don’t make her look better. I don’t know how I did it, but I kept my mouth shut.

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About Revis Edgewater

I'm Revis Edgewater, the world's only zombie killing rogue ninja. I'm also the First Knight of the Matticus Kingdom. I write stuph that's 33 grams of whatever I'm writing about.


28 thoughts on “Customer Service Fails: …and a Back Rub

  1. Now, that’s f’n mean. : )


    Posted by Pocahontas | November 2, 2013, 3:52 pm
  2. That’s awesome.
    My brother and I used to work the overnight shifts at the local Wendy’s. When the drunks came thru and were smart asses we would poor a couple packages of hot sauce in their drinks,,and because our store was 2 doors over from the cop shop we would take their license plate #’s, wait a few mins then call and bust their asses!


    Posted by overitblogdotcom | November 2, 2013, 4:00 pm
  3. Oh man! That sucks. This is something that would happen to me.


    Posted by Jen and Tonic | November 2, 2013, 4:27 pm
  4. Awkward. She should have taken his money and then fake sneezed on the bag before she handed it over.


    Posted by 1jaded1 | November 2, 2013, 4:58 pm
  5. Asking for back rub in a fast food store????
    LOL Should have gone to a professional messager. :::Rolling Eyes:::


    Posted by Robert | November 2, 2013, 5:05 pm
  6. She should have told the customer that all Burger King back rubs are provided by a specially trained employee….



    Posted by evilsquirrel13 | November 2, 2013, 10:06 pm
  7. This is kind of sad. I like to think that your manager – because she could smile like that at first – might have been someone loveable on the inside at least. Not all of us humans are given attractiveness on the outside. It’s rare. Some of those are ugly on the inside and waste the pretty wrappings.

    Philosophy class complete.


    Posted by BrainRants | November 2, 2013, 11:29 pm
  8. Revis, that is so funny. It’s one of those memories that will make you smile everytime you think of it. What the drunk forgot is that your manager would be behind him while he got his back rub, so he wouldn’t have to look at her anyway.


    Posted by skinnyuz2b | November 3, 2013, 8:23 am
  9. What can I say, Revis?
    You were right: this was funny as hell!


    Posted by The Hook | November 3, 2013, 2:16 pm
  10. Oy!


    Posted by Elyse | November 5, 2013, 4:21 pm
  11. You are a million times stronger than me. There is no way I would have been able to hold that shit in!!


    Posted by vyvacious | November 10, 2013, 5:01 pm
  12. Well done you for not laughing in front of her face. I think she should have busted him one way or another. Drunk or not, that’s pretty crappy behaviour from that bloke (even if it is funny and I did laugh).


    Posted by faithhopechocolate | November 11, 2013, 10:38 am
    • Yeah, it was an awful thing to say to her, but, as you said, it was so funny that I couldn’t say anything to the guy. Although, looking back, we probably should’ve called the cops on the guy anyways to make sure he didn’t kill anyone driving drunk on the way home.


      Posted by Revis Edgewater | November 11, 2013, 8:27 pm


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