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Letter To Strangers

Dear people I haven’t met,

This might be a little hard for you to understand, but just because I’m wearing a football shirt (whether Ohio State or Carolina Panthers), it doesn’t mean I want you to come up and talk to me about it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy talking about football. I just like to do it with family or friends, not random assholes that happen to be in my vicinity. I know that may sound harsh, especially since I try to be nice to everyone I meet (as I was raised), but there is a reason for me saying that.

Example 1: Today, at work, I was in the middle of a project. Someone who works for the other company in the building, who I had never seen before, comes walking by me. After seeing my shirt (A red t-shirt that says “Ohio State Buckeyes football” on it), he stops.

“Is Ohio State going to beat Michigan State in the Big 10 championship game on Saturday,” he asks.

I wanted to say something sarcastic, something like, “I must be wearing my fortune teller clothes today, otherwise how could you have known that I can predict the future?” I held my tongue, though, because, once again, I was raised to be nice. Also, I was at work and I didn’t want to risk getting in trouble.

So, I played nice and gave him the short version of my opinion on the game. I didn’t want to spend too much time on it because I had to get my work done. When I was done, he said a few things and I gave him the “I’m not paying attention, but good point” head nod. Thankfully, he finally took the hint as he walked away afterwards.

Less than a minute later is when I started calling him an asshole. Because he interrupted me, I lost track of what I had been doing and I now had to start my project over from the beginning. It took me 25 minutes to finish up something that would’ve only taken 5 more minutes had he just kept his mouth shut.

Example 2: In January of 2011, Mrs. Revis and I were shopping. Once again, I was wearing Ohio State gear, only this time, it was a jersey. We weren’t shopping for anything in particular, just kind of walking around when I heard someone say, “Hey.”

Since I didn’t recognize the voice, I kept walking. Then, they said, “Hey, Buckeye.”

With a sigh, I turned around and asked the guy what was up. He puts on a shit-eating grin and asks, “What does Ohio State’s football team have in common with marijuana?”

I didn’t care what his answer was going to be, so I simply played along and asked, “What?”

“They both get smoked in bowls.”

I will admit that it was a clever joke. During Jim Tressell’s run at Ohio State, with the exception of the year they won the National Championship, his teams didn’t do very good in bowl games.

However, that year (which turned out to be his last season because of the tattoo scandal), a year that they said a Big 10 school couldn’t beat an SEC team, my Buckeyes beat Arkansas in a BCS game.

So, in response to his joke, I said as I walked away, “Tell that to Arkansas.”

Either this guy was a Razorback fan (making him stupid for even bringing it up), or he was mentally unstable, because he went nuts when I said that. He started cursing and throwing a hissy fit in the middle of the store. Mrs. Revis and I got the hell out of there as quickly as we could because we didn’t want to end up on the news.

In conclusion, don’t assume that just because I like football that I’m willing to talk to anyone, at anytime, about it. If you feel that you must talk to me about it, at least ask if I have time to talk about it first. I might be in the middle of something. I could be working, or trying to have some family time. Or maybe I just won’t beĀ in the mood to be hounded by weird strangers who assume I care what they think about football.

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About Revis Edgewater

I'm Revis Edgewater, the world's only zombie killing rogue ninja. I'm also the First Knight of the Matticus Kingdom. I write stuph that's 33 grams of whatever I'm writing about.

Discussion

29 thoughts on “Letter To Strangers

  1. I get that a lot with my Steelers shirts since I live in Redskins’ country, almost like I have to defend why I don’t like my “home team”.

    Like this

    Posted by NotAPunkRocker | December 4, 2013, 9:11 pm
  2. I’m a Raiders, USC Trojans, and USMA/Army Black Knights fan. Baseball – Red Sox. Other sports – there are other sports? My solution is to punch the fucker straight in the dick. No comment, no facial expression, just a ninja junk-obliterating punch.

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    Posted by BrainRants | December 4, 2013, 9:17 pm
  3. So what do you think about the Panthers chances anyway? They for real?

    Like this

    Posted by The Cutter | December 4, 2013, 9:40 pm
  4. I haven’t forgotten our bet, dear. Good game but I wish you could be singing Blue’s praises. I’m rooting for OSU on Saturday…wow. I generally have pleasant banter, even with strangers. Please don’t bother me at work, though, unless I’m on break.

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    Posted by 1jaded1 | December 4, 2013, 9:40 pm
  5. The joy I miss out on because I’m boring and only wear plain shirts….

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    Posted by evilsquirrel13 | December 4, 2013, 10:03 pm
  6. The dumbest T-shirt-related conversation in my life happened when I wore a shirt that said “Barcelona”. A guy came up to me and said: “Oooh, Barcelona… I’ve never been to Italy.”

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    Posted by List of X | December 4, 2013, 10:08 pm
  7. Go Bears !!

    Like this

    Posted by Becki Duckworth | December 5, 2013, 1:10 am
  8. Don’t think of it as football gear. Think of it as jackass detection equipment.

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    Posted by El Guapo | December 5, 2013, 4:08 am
  9. You will be relieved to know that I was born without the organized sports gene… or jeans… I have tie dye shirts, monkey shirts, funny shirts, colorful shirts, and free giveaway shirts… I have none with numbers stripes and the name of some random animal on them. So I will never talk to you about your sports teams… or your clothing… unless you just look really sexy in something…

    Like this

    Posted by pouringmyartout | December 5, 2013, 10:23 am
  10. That’s the pointy-ball game, right?

    Like this

    Posted by Sofia Leo | December 5, 2013, 1:21 pm

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