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Customer Service Fails

Customer Service Fails: Your Money Is No Good Here

Back in the day, before Paypal, the ubiquity of using debit cards for purchases, and e-checks, we had to physically write actual checks for our purchases. The horror! Check out lines moved about as fast as Jabba the Hutt running a marathon while consumers not only wrote their checks, but also updated their registry so as to further hinder progress.

Assholes.

During these barbaric and uncivilized times I worked at my local Mecca (shout out again to ES). The Mecca had a dollar limit on check payments, which I believe was $1000. Or perhaps even $500. I can’t correctly recall. Also, if a customer had written high dollar checks within the last three days, the register would notify you of this and often times would require management approval to complete the transaction.

I worked in the electronics department at the time. I came back from break one day and two of my cohorts informed me of a customer they turned away because he had tried to write a high-dollar check for the second time that day. Then they proceeded to deride the man’s pleas for them to accept his check. Jocularity was in the air.

“He said he was a Cincinnati Bengal,” they mocked.

I’d like to point out that this was the year 2000 and the Bengals were the laughing-stock of the NFL during that time. You didn’t admit to anyone you were a Bengal lest you were prepared for criticism. The man was merely trying to convince them that, as a Bengal, he had the funds to cover the check.

12 18 08 Bearman Cartoon Cincinnati Bengals Ma...

12 18 08 Bearman Cartoon Cincinnati Bengals Marvin Lewis (Photo credit: Bearman2007)

Being a hard-core Bengals fan, I was slightly intrigued by this story. Was a Cincinnati Bengal really here? Why would a Bengal shop at this crappy excuse for a retail store? Best Buy was just across street and he could surely afford the higher-quality merchandise there.

I asked them for the name of the man whose claim they were mocking. They couldn’t recall his name so they went through the checks in the register to find the check he had written earlier that day.

“Oh, here it is!” one of them said upon finding it. “His name is Mark Roman.”

I said, “You mean Mark Roman, the cornerback the Bengals just drafted this year?”

The looks on their respective faces was priceless. Their jaws collectively hit the floor. One of them thought perhaps that I was yanking his crank, and began laughing. “Yeah, whatever man,” he said dismissively.

“I’m serious,” I told him. “They just drafted him this year. He is a Cincinnati Bengal. You guys just declined the check of a wealthy man.”

DAFUQ, the sea!?

They were stunned into silence, and had nothing clever to say afterwards. (Photo credit: sesamsys)

I’ve always chosen to believe that those two caucasian coworkers were merely following the spirit of company policy in declining this check, and not doing so because he’s black. I’ll never know for sure, though. Still, it’s a funny story to tell. We here at the Mecca think your money is no good here, dear Bengal. Write your checks elsewhere.

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Discussion

37 thoughts on “Customer Service Fails: Your Money Is No Good Here

  1. Wow, bad timing on the break there. ;-)

    Like

    Posted by NotAPunkRocker | December 9, 2013, 10:41 am
  2. As a Raiders fan, I’ll let a swipe at the Bengals pass… we all gotta have a team, dude.

    Like

    Posted by BrainRants | December 9, 2013, 10:59 am
  3. There’s a story about former pitcher Brian Anderson (can’t remember which team he was playing for at the time… probably the Royals) forgetting to bring his glove to the ballpark, and quickly running down to the Mecca near the stadium to buy a new glove before gametime. You never know… some athletes manage to stay true to their more humble roots even after they get 7 figure bank accounts…

    That said, I never recall anyone even remotely famous ever stepping foot in my Mecca…

    Like

    Posted by evilsquirrel13 | December 9, 2013, 11:26 am
  4. Never make fun of a tiger, that’s what I always say.

    Like

    Posted by pouringmyartout | December 9, 2013, 11:37 am
  5. Back in the day the pistons were winning, one of the guys came into the bookstore. It was 1030 A.M. and he tried to pay for a 12$ book with 100$ bill. We didn’t have enough change at the time, so I said sorry, you need to pay with a check or cc. He was cool about it and even came back.

    Like

    Posted by 1jaded1 | December 9, 2013, 11:43 am
  6. All I can say is “D’oh!”

    Like

    Posted by aliceatwonderland | December 9, 2013, 2:57 pm
  7. Wow, we just never know eh?!

    Like

    Posted by behindthemaskofabuse | December 9, 2013, 4:14 pm
  8. Oy.

    Like

    Posted by Elyse | December 9, 2013, 6:54 pm
  9. OMG Jabba the Hutt running a marathon! I have no idea who these Bengal dudes are and sport is, like, so boring, but I am laughing out loud imagining that marathon race.

    Like

    Posted by stephrogers | December 9, 2013, 9:16 pm
  10. I wonder if Mark Roman ever shopped there again!? I have a friend that still writes checks. It is so annoying and embarrassing. I am shocked every time that a store actually accepts it!

    Like

    Posted by Kianwi | December 12, 2013, 10:36 am

We don't tolerate scum.

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