Well, it’s Christmas time. That wonderful time of year when we bring joy to the world and show good will to our neighbors. Fuck that. I’m still going to be blunt. No jolly fat man with presents is going to put a shine on my disposition. I’m all about reality and reality sucks no matter what time of year it is.
So I’m here to answer questions, obviously. What started as an advice column has somehow turned into people submitting questions with the sole purpose of trying to irritate me. And for that, they will receive my wrath for Christmas. With nary a bow on my vitriolic responses.
Let’s get to our regularly scheduled idiotic questions.
Here is what I need advice for…: I have a question… who do you think you are? No… don’t answer that… I don’t really care… you called my friend a crotch-rash… and that cracked me up.
…wait… I do have one question… Can I get fries with that?
Name: El Guapo
Here is what I need advice for…: Answering the question of who is the bigger idiot – the idiot who asks these questions, or the idiot who spends his time answering them?
The idiot who asks the question, obviously. It’s my job to answer these questions. I’d much rather actually help people than answer these asinine questions from Art and Zoe.
Here is what I need advice for…: What’s wrong with hugs? Can I volunteer to be “analyzed”?
Hugs? No touchy. And volunteer away, I’m not sure there’s anything to be done about your condition, but it can’t hurt to try.
Here is what I need advice for…: ha! love blunt life coach. my grandmother would have been great at that job.
Looks like someone can’t tell a comment box from a submission box. Fail. I’m glad you enjoy my words. It means you have good taste. Also, it sounds like your grandmother was a very reasonable woman, which are two words seldom used in tandem.
Here is what I need advice for…: BLC if you don’t like people asking questions, then why do you keep asking us to submit them? You seem very conflicted to me. I think you may have issues. P.S. I can spel
Here is what I need advice for…: When trying to decide if it makes more sense to move to a better school district, live closer to work, or live someplace we can afford a house, where should we put the emphasis? Also, if moving out of state is the only way to attain all three, is it really worth it to hit that trifecta, or is 2 our 3 good enough?
Ultimately, out of the three choices presented, your child’s education is of the most paramount importance. If that means an hour commute in your mornings and evenings, then so be it. If that means you have to continue to rent instead of owning a home, so be it. Your child’s education is more valuable to his future than the inconvenience of renting and/or lengthy commutes. You only have one chance to be a good parent, don’t waste it. I point to Zoe and Art for examples of what can happen to your child if you place your offspring’s education below affordable housing or a shorter commute.
Also, thank you for asking a legit question.
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*WARNING* Blunt Life Coach is an abrasive asshole. Please be advised that he will answer comments rudely. This is all done in good fun, but if you’re easily offended please do not leave a comment.