My muse is still MIA (on Christmas vacation before I am, I suspect), but I do have a few things to talk about. So sit back, relax, and enjoy your coffeh (or tea or alcoholic beverage of your choice) because you’ll need some sort of chemical stimulant to get through this one.
Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays or Happy Hanukkah or Kwanza or New Year or whatever holiday you celebrate-gotta cover all the bases so no one gets offended, right? sigh…).
First off, we have a silly kid story which ends with me having a cut three inches long on the top of my left foot. Good times.
I have (well, had) two glass bakeware dishes. I used them last night to prepare pork chops for myself and the boys. After we had finished eating, Baby A had the task of loading the dishes. He forgot about the two glass dishes when he initially loaded the dishwasher. I sent Baby A into the kitchen later to hand wash them since he had already run the washer.
Later on, Baby C asked for an apple. I keep the apple slicer in the dish drainer next to the sink since he asks for apples so often. I simply cut the apple, rinse off the slicer, and put it in the drainer for reuse later.
Baby A had stuck both of the baking dishes in the drainer leaning towards the front. Not towards the wall, not towards the sink, but the front. Evidently, the measly few ounces of the apple slicer was the only thing keeping the drainer, and thus the two dishes, from tipping over.
I grabbed the slicer and stepped to the other side of the sink where I had an apple on a paper plate ready to slice for Baby C. Out of the corner of my eye I saw both dishes begin to fall forward, where there was nothing between them and the floor but a couple inches of counter space.
Both dishes leapt from the counter top to the floor below. The cacophony caused when the dishes hit the linoleum-covered concrete was deafening. It was so loud it brought both twins crashing into the kitchen. That’s no easy task, getting them off their asses.
The smaller dish somehow remained intact as it clattered around on the floor. The bigger one fucking exploded.
I let out a seriously complex string of swear words and told Baby A he needed to get his shoes on and clean up this mess. I gave Baby C his apple slices and found an empty box in which Baby A could put all of the shattered glass.
After all of the glass was in the box, I slipped on my sandals (it was unseasonably warm yesterday) and walked the remains of my baking dish to the dumpster. I gave it a silent eulogy (what am I going to make pork chops in now?) and then headed back inside where I plopped my
disgruntled happy ass back on the couch.
“Um, dad?” That was Baby B. “There’s blood on your foot.”
I looked down.
On the top of my left foot was a cut at least three inches long and copious amounts of smeared blood. Sigh… Like this incident needed to get worse.
I cleaned up my “wound” and inspected my sandal, which now has a huge blood stain on it. Yay.
Last year I participated in C4C (Company for Christmas), a project created by Rule of Stupid. The object is to give those who have no one to spend Christmas with someone to, you know, spend Christmas with. Even if it’s virtually.
This year the project is being spearheaded by my buddy Rawra. If you have a free hour or two on Christmas, please stop by and spend it with those who aren’t fortunate enough to have someone to spend their holiday with.
It’s almost Christmas! (Duh) Here are some of Christmas posts I’ve published in the past that are kinda entertaining. Or something
- Here is a collection of some of my favorite Christmas videos.
- A Star Wars themed poem – Twas the Day Before Christmas
- My opinion on the so-called War on Christmas before it was the War on Christmas
- My biggest Christmas disappointment
- A Christmas confession to my mother
That concludes my Christmas randomness for today. I may or may not be on here tomorrow, so I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas if you celebrate. If not, then I hope your Wednesday doesn’t suck. Or your Tuesday.