Good afternoon, fuckwits. Just kidding. I don’t mean that. At least, I don’t mean the “good afternoon” part. I definitely meant the fuckwit part. I’m digressing already. Let’s get back on track, shall we?
On the extremely slim chance you’ve forgotten what it is I do here (you’re a dumbass if you have), I answer questions posed to me Dear Abby style because my superior intellect dictates that I do so because with great knowledge comes great responsibility. Unfortunately, my inbox has been filled with fuckwitted questions instead of by people genuinely needing my legendary advice. Hopefully, today’s questions will be more on par with what I’m aiming for.
Let’s open the mailbag, shall we?
Here is what I need advice for…: What is it that possesses some bloggers to put up that stupid fake WordPress snow on their blogs every December? It’s not cute, it distracts me from reading their garbage, it slows down the response time and makes leaving a smartass reply next to impossible, it makes anyone’s blog resemble a 12 year old’s MySpace page, and let’s face it… it looks more like a bad case of dandruff than real snowfall. Being the BLC, you should have some strings you can pull behind the scenes to make sure this shit is disabled before the next holiday season rolls around, don’t you?
Well, ES, the virtual snow annoys the piss out of me, too. I got enough of that shit on Hoth. Luckily, there is an option you can check in your settings that will block the virtual flakes of doom from showing up on any blog you visit. So long as you’re logged in, that is. I’d give you directions on how to do that, but since it is no longer the holiday season the option is no longer there. Bastards.
Here is what I need advice for…: I don’t have another question, I just want to say I enjoyed the answer to my last one. I actually walk around whistling that song, and then singing “if I only had a brain” at the top of my voice.
Okay, one question? Do you have a spare brain laying around?
How do you exist? I mean, how is it possible that your utter lack of intellect hasn’t killed you? You should be a Darwin Award recipient by now.
This is supposed to be an advice column, not a place for you to proudly display your asshattery.
Here is what I need advice for…: BLC: What if a child’s education isn’t theee most important thing, what if the commute for DJ takes him away from being there for his child to much?! OH and what’s with comparing me to Arthur so often, are you running out of stuph?!
This should have been left as a comment on the last post, not a “request for advice” on a new post. Do you actually require advice with something?
The comparisons between you and Art are because you always submit nonsensical “questions”, you both seem to be under the delusion that you’re funny, and you’re both pests. You are both like flies hovering over the food at a picnic. No matter how many times I swat at you I always miss and you never go away.
I guess it’s too much to hope for decent questions from this particular group of readers. I guess I’ll have to go back to answering questions submitted to Dear Abby. This is such a low blow to my ego, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. All of you follow Twindaddy willingly, so there’s obviously a complete lack of intelligence here.
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*WARNING* Blunt Life Coach is an abrasive asshole. Please be advised that he will answer comments rudely. This is all done in good fun, but if you’re easily offended please do not leave a comment.