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Blaming and Punishing The Victim

This is Grayson Bruce and his mother. Grayson likes My Little Pony. While I’m certainly not a fan, I’m not going to belittle him for his taste.

According to Wikipedia, victim blaming happens when “the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially responsible for the harm that befell them,” and that is the most apt definition I can think of. To put it simply, victim blaming is when the victim is blamed for something someone else did to them.

For some reason, we have become a society of victim blamers. You were raped? You shouldn’t have been wearing that seductive clothing. You were robbed? What were you doing in that part of town? Somebody stole your car? Why didn’t you lock your doors? You can’t afford medical care? Why don’t you have a better job? You’re being abused? Why don’t you just leave?

It’s bad enough that victims have to suffer the consequences of the crimes committed against them, but then others have to dump salt in the wound by adding guilt to the myriad of emotions victims are experiencing. Victim blamers make the victims believe what happened to them was solely their fault and no blame is ever cast at the perpetrators of the crime. I can’t for the life of me figure out how we became a nation of such heartless individuals.

To see an example of what I’m referring to, look no further than the news this week, where a 9-year old boy is being punished because he’s being bullied. Grayson Bruce is being bullied by other children at his school because of the My Little Pony backpack he carries to school on a daily basis. According to Grayson, kids are “taking it a little too far, with punching me, pushing me down, calling me horrible names, stuff that really shouldn’t happen.”

So the logical thing for the school to do would be to address each of the children bullying Grayson, tell them their behavior is unacceptable, and punish them if they continue, right? Well, evidently logic in the educational system in Buncombe County, North Carolina is as elusive as the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa. The school didn’t address the situation with any of the children bullying Grayson. To my utter shock, and to the displeasure of rational beings everywhere, the school only addressed this situation with Grayson, telling him not to bring his My Little Pony backpack to school anymore claiming it is a “trigger” for bullying. In essence, the school just told him that the bullies were right and that he was wrong. What the actual fuck?

What the fuck is a trigger for bullying? And why are they rationalizing the behavior of the bullies by saying, “Well, if you didn’t have that backpack…”? Grayson’s mom is LIVID. As a parent, I am fucking LIVID. Parents everywhere should be LIVID. 

What is this teaching all of the children involved? Obviously only time will tell, but I’m going to go out on a limb anyhow. Poor Grayson is being told that when he’s denigrated and beaten it’s totally his fault. The bullies are being taught that might makes right and that it’s okay to harass people who are different. They’re all being taught that conformity is more important than individuality. The handling of this situation by the school is completely fucked up. They took the coward’s way out in dealing with this and all school officials involved should be ashamed of themselves. They just did a monumental disservice to every child involved.

The Buncombe County school administration has said that they “will continue to take steps to resolve this issue.” Well, that’s a relief. They’ve handled it all with utmost class so far. What will they do if the bullying continues? Prevent Grayson from showing up to school at all? Send him to a different school? Make his mother home school him? Or just let it continue until Grayson becomes so broken that he commits suicide?

No one is responsible for anyone’s actions but their own. When a person is raped,  it is the fault of the rapist and the rapist only. When a person is sexually harassed, it is the fault of the harasser. In the specific instance cited here, the kids bullying Grayson are to blame. It’s their fault and they’re the ones in the wrong, yet Grayson, the victim, is being punished.

I can’t properly articulate how much this infuriates me. This is a gross injustice. Victims are continually subjected to further victimization and it’s the most backwards, asinine shit imaginable. People like Grayson should have folks lining up to help him, but instead he’s being told the crimes committed against him are his fault and he’s being punished accordingly. Sorry, kid, leave that backpack at home otherwise you’ll get your ass kicked. What a crock.

I’m often critical of our litigious society so I don’t say this lightly, but I think Grayson’s mom should take legal action against the school. She has a right to send her child to school free of fear that he will be harmed by other students and/or faculty. They are not holding up their end of the bargain.

This is a dark time for Buncombe County schools, and they just set a dangerous precedent. The parents of children attending those schools should be worried. If I had children in that school district I’d be worried. Student safety is obviously not a concern in Buncombe County.

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About Twindaddy

Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

Discussion

264 thoughts on “Blaming and Punishing The Victim

  1. Hopefully, the backlash will not just make the school come up with a better approach to dealing with this, but it’ll spark a larger conversation that will have some good effect before the noise level cranks up again and it’s forgotten by the wider audience.

    Well said, TD.

    Like

    Posted by El Guapo | March 20, 2014, 8:58 am
  2. Pretty dreary stuff. Do you suppose the glare of the bright light of the media will shame them into doing the right thing? Think they’ll have an “a-ha” moment? One can only hope.

    Like

    Posted by Exile on Pain Street | March 20, 2014, 9:02 am
  3. Paging the nearest ship to take me off this planet. What have we become?

    Like

    Posted by 1jaded1 | March 20, 2014, 9:07 am
  4. This is so ridiculous, and I’m not sure how people don’t realize that.

    Like

    Posted by La La | March 20, 2014, 9:26 am
  5. Even well versed in myriad example of victim blaming, this astonishes me. “The onus is on you,” they are saying, “to predict what will or will not set others off, and to tailor yourself to their needs.” Aaah, accountability, better shifted to someone else.

    Not knowing how the district was handling the matter, I knew of Grayson. The knowledge made me a little nervous when my 4yo son asked to bring MLP DVDs to school yesterday. I was delighted when boys and girls alike expressed delight without a single indication that boys or girls “should” do and like different things.

    Like

    Posted by Deborah the Closet Monster | March 20, 2014, 9:26 am
  6. As a parent I’m livid. I went through something similar with Sam in her school. I don’t know what is wrong with the world but, something is even more screwed up within it than it’s “normal” ignorance and idiocy.

    Like

    Posted by C.K. Hope | March 20, 2014, 9:40 am
  7. I think schools should just proactively remove all kids that have built-in trigger for bullying of any kinds. Your kid is smaller than the average kid? Expel them. Any kind of disability? Kick them out. Weird accent? Go back where they came from. Then vontinue the process untill all kids in school look and sound like identical twins. That’s the only logical solution to the “bully triggering crisis” we experience today.

    Like

    Posted by List of X | March 20, 2014, 10:12 am
  8. I’ve been reading this story on several sources, along with the comments on many of them. The worst thing about it is the astonishing number of people who are actually in support of what the school is doing. Then there are the people who say “he’s a boy so he shouldn’t be carrying my little pony stuff anyway.” Finally, there are the people who indicate he should be ashamed that he likes my little pony and he should essentially only play with them at home, alone, in his closet.

    Stories like this and the comments I’ve read really make me wonder about the world we are raising our kids in these days.

    Like

    Posted by Rhonda | March 20, 2014, 10:45 am
  9. I saw this earlier and was like WTF? Talk about stupid. Nevermind the victim blaming, which is horrible in itself, how is having the kid leave a backpack at home going to stop the bullying? Like the bullies will say “Oh, he doesn’t have the pony backpack now. He’s totally cool. Do you want to hang out with us?” Hell, no. They’ll find some other reason to bully him, or just rely on the old “he used to bring a pony backpack to school.” It’s just dumb. I know I was bullied, and I tried so hard to not be different that I forgot who I was. Guess what? It still didn’t work. Conforming doesn’t work, nor is it healthy. Educators are supposed to take a Childhood Psychology class in school, but it’s pointless, because no one follows it. Stupid people everywhere.

    Now I’m not saying the school should try to force all little boys to like ponies. But what happened to live and let live? It’s one thing not to have the support of children. But to have adults abandon you too? My daughter had a classmate (13 years old) commit suicide over Spring Break. She performed in 4 person ensemble with him. I watched him play. And then he was dead. I don’t know if he was bullied or not, but I know this pushes kids to that brink. If something were to happen to Grayson, would the school blame it on the rainbow ponies?

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by aliceatwonderland | March 20, 2014, 10:46 am
  10. Ugh, humans sometimes.

    Like

    Posted by merbear74 | March 20, 2014, 10:57 am
  11. We moved our kids out of public school because of bullying. Our six year old was tortured because she brought healthy food in her lunch. Never mind that she has an autoimmune disease and can’t eat junk food, the school reminded me that the lunch staff were all unpaid volunteers now and the best they could do was suggest I send in more “normal” food so she could fit in. Schools take the easy way out all the damn time at the expense of kids. Why can’t a boy like MLP, or a kid bring raw fruits and veggies in her lunch? Are we really creating a society where it is acceptable to make kids conform instead of allowing them to make their own good choices?

    Like

    Posted by TT&NB | March 20, 2014, 11:05 am
  12. I can’t imagine what this family must be going through. The school district should be made an example of.

    Like

    Posted by Eva | March 20, 2014, 12:33 pm
  13. It is insane. Utterly so. And then they wonder why school shootings started in the first place… People get so fed up with the bullying. And stupid shit. Ugh. Don’t get me going!

    p.s. this being said, I think your writing is awesome!

    Like

    Posted by Marie | March 20, 2014, 12:53 pm
  14. I can’t fully articulate how much this infuriates me either! How can people be so fuggin ignorant? Grrrrrrr

    Like

    Posted by bethteliho | March 20, 2014, 1:02 pm
  15. I may not be very popular for saying this but I think this “ignore the bullies” attitude is a direct result of democracy run rampant. After all, under a democratic perspective, the majority rules, doesn’t it? So, if a large number of students feel that Grayson should be ridiculed, shouldn’t they be right? Don’t get me wrong, I think democracy is one of the best political structures we humans have yet invented to govern, and I thank God that I was born in a democracy, but it has serious limitations that we need to be aware of : it has no intrinsic morals or ethics. It is simply the will of the majority – right or wrong morally. And it is simply about the desires of the individual – not the greater good. In politics, the democracy is overseen (or overruled) by the constitution – which is a moral document. Not so in everyday life. If everyone in a red-neck town decide that they hate blacks and all blacks should be killed on sight, then they can draft and implement a law to that effect and it is prefectly democratic. Sure doesn’t make it right in any way.

    Two thousand five hundred years ago, Plato had Socrates point out this flaw in democracy and he reasoned that the focus of democracy on “Me” – vote for what you personally want , not what is for the greater good, – would eventually lead to a dictatorship. A number of your readers made similar comments: List of X -”I get the reference, Mr. Stormtrooper, but really, it’s the standard wet dream of every dictator and wannabe dictator.”; C.K.Hope -”Didn’t Yoda say that? ‘Conform to the Darkside you must, else to you it bullies, hmmm.’”; etc.

    And look around you at the world we have created that these kids are growing up in – capitalism (focus on enriching the individual), democracy (rule of the majority, will of the individual), sports (survival of the fittest individual), first person shooter games ( kill everyone who threatens the individual) etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against any of these endeavors, and I cannot suggest a better alternative – what I am saying is that we have let these institutions run rampant without any boundaries or checks. WE have misplaced our moral and ethical side, have seconded it to self, success and winning. The issue here is the reinstatment of the greater good, the rights of the individual, morality and ehics to trump the individuals needs or actions. Unfortunately that is not a popular view – say “No” to the excesses of capitalism or the free market, point out that democracy is sometimes wrong, and you will be labeled treasonous. And yet, on a personal level, we recoil at the attending horrors that occur to people like young Grayson, when the very ideas we trumpet when they benefit us, are shown to be completely lacking in morals or ethics.

    Like

    Posted by Paul | March 20, 2014, 1:50 pm
    • True, majority does rule in democracy so long as what the majority wants doesn’t violate the constitution. Bullying, which I believe is now considered a crime, would be violating Grayson’s first-amendment right, I believe.

      There are definitely flaws in democracy, but we’re actually a republic. And there are obviously flaws in that, as well. Still, the school is not a democracy and it’s run by a principal who decides who needs to be punished for what. Basically, in my opinion, he/she found it easier to tell one kid to stop wearing a backpack than to actually discipline all the kids bullying Grayson. This is just a case of laziness.

      Like

      Posted by Twindaddy | March 20, 2014, 2:04 pm
      • Exactly, the principal is acting in a manner that is best/easiest for him/her, the individual, without any consideration of the moral or ethical aspects of the incident (or Grayson).

        Like

        Posted by Paul | March 20, 2014, 2:12 pm
  16. I’m so very angry…
    Yes, livid, that about sums it up.
    I can’t imagine what the powers at be at the school are thinking. Obviously, they aren’t thinking much beyond what is the easiest and fastest way for us to make this go away. None of them must have been bullied as kids….

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by djmatticus | March 20, 2014, 1:51 pm
  17. This saddens me and I agree with you. I can’t tell you how many times and ways I see the blame being put on the wrong party.

    Like

    Posted by hastywords | March 20, 2014, 3:05 pm
  18. What burns me is another kid would be hailed as “cool” and “alternative” if he/she were to carry the exact same backpack. Administration needs to support the kids who don’t naturally fall into that category and instead get picked on. They need to help build that kid up to a point where they can feel secure in their choices rather than feel like a target. Part of that is being vocal in their support, not hiding behind the pony.

    Like

    Posted by denmother | March 20, 2014, 3:24 pm
  19. This marks a new low in human evolution

    Like

    Posted by pouringmyartout | March 20, 2014, 3:49 pm
  20. What amazes me is that the decisions like this are made at all. Great the ‘media’ can course-correct. Also, when did it become illegal for a kid to stand up for him/herself? One thing I told all my kids: “You better not ever start a fight, but if you’re in one you better finish it.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by BrainRants | March 20, 2014, 4:45 pm
  21. Of course it’s a lot easier to say he should just leave that backpack at home. And why choose a more difficult solution, right? It’s sad how you create a community of people that will only accept conformity. This way you’re closing the doors to understanding and acceptance. Completely wrong indeed. Hopefully they’ll see their mistake and try to fix it!

    Like

    Posted by No Blog Intended | March 20, 2014, 5:26 pm
  22. This has gone beyond ridiculous! Students all across the continent are commiting suicide due to bullying! Educators need to wake up! They need to realize the steps they have taken so far are NOT working! They need to protect the children being bullied! They need to punish the bullies! Make the child who is doing the bullying wear a “trigger” & then find out how he feels when others start bullying him! Parents need to step in & make this stop too! Just because your child is at school when the bullying takes place doesn’t take away your responsibility for protecting your child. Get in the Principal’s face & force him/her to do something, show up at school board meetings & force them to take a stand against bullying instead of lip service!

    Like

    Posted by benzeknees | March 20, 2014, 7:08 pm
  23. TD, this should be Freshly Pressed.

    And TD, this is why I heart you. You are a sensitive, caring soul underneath that mask! (Yeah, I’ve known that for a long time, but I’m right about everything, as you know)

    Like

    Posted by Elyse | March 20, 2014, 8:32 pm
  24. This really pisses me off! I hope the story goes viral and people do the right thing.

    Like

    Posted by behindthemask | March 20, 2014, 9:54 pm
  25. Unbelievable! As a former school governor I know how much effort we put into dealing with bullying behaviour (and the children confirmed it was working well) and can’t imagine what this school is thinking. Very sad for this boy and his family.

    Like

    Posted by electronicbaglady | March 21, 2014, 2:50 am
  26. Bravo on a well-articulated essay about victim blaming. I’d like you to send this to the Buncombe County School Board, Grayson’s school principle and teacher. Then, I would like to see it published in their local newspaper – front page – although the editorial page will do. You might have to clean up the language for the newspaper :)

    Like

    Posted by Robin | March 21, 2014, 12:29 pm
  27. It’s like blame shifting. That drives me nuts. But I don’t understand how some of these examples can be justified. If I got raped for being in a sketchy part of town, then that part of town is still sketchy, and I still got raped. I didn’t get raped though, just an example here.

    Like

    Posted by Chowderhead | March 21, 2014, 3:16 pm
  28. Victim Blaming has been going on for many years, it simply didn’t have a name. In the past, it was accepted and all to frequently, especially in the case of rape, domestic violence and even some violent crime it was the standard. Those of us who were stupid enough to step forward felt the wrath of our families, society and even the victim justice machine.

    What happened to this young man is simply another manifestation and his mother is right to be furious.

    Like

    Posted by Valentine Logar | March 22, 2014, 1:29 pm
  29. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

    Posted by merbear74 | March 24, 2014, 11:20 am
  30. Hello. Heart felt post. It made me mad. My thought to this is, group-think is a very dangerous mindset; among kids and adults.

    Like

    Posted by zobop republic | March 24, 2014, 12:18 pm
  31. I agree that this case is ridiculous and that what is being done to this little boy is wrong.

    However, I disagree with the generalization that a victim is never blameless. Just as the generalization that victims are always to blame is absurd, so is the concept that victims are never to blame.

    That is why civil suits aren’t decided by an unanimous decision- plaintiff and defendant can share the blame.

    A world of blameless victims is a world without accountability and autonomy. People need to be responsible for themselves and use their brains in order to avoid conflict. Yes, it would be an ideal world where there are no wrong-doers, where there aren’t bad people to look out for. But this is not the reality.

    Do not mistake this statement. Wrong-doers are held at an equal, if not greater degree if accountability. Of course we should be punishing those who do bad things in order to teach them that what they are doing is wrong. But, when making judgments on the responsibility of victims, things need to be handled on a case by case basis.

    Like

    Posted by Mick Theebs | March 24, 2014, 12:22 pm
    • Perhaps you could provide an example of what you’re trying to convey, because I cannot fathom thinking that any blame should be affixed to anyone who is wronged by another person.

      Like

      Posted by Twindaddy | March 24, 2014, 12:26 pm
      • Gladly-

        Imagine a situation where someone has been punched in the face and their nose has been broken. Obviously, they are the person who has been wronged, the victim.

        However, they were teasing the person who punched them in the face. The victim was drunk and was verbally harassing the aggressor to the point where the aggressor lost his temper and struck the victim.

        Obviously, the aggressor shouldn’t have lost his temper, but would you say that the victim in this situation is completely blameless?

        Like

        Posted by Mick Theebs | March 24, 2014, 12:30 pm
  32. To the kids, Grayson is not following standard gender stereotypes. To the adults, Grayson is possibly homosexual, so he needs to be punished or dissuaded from what they see as a disgusting lifestyle. It’s not just the bullying and the school’s conduct that needs to be addressed, but the attitudes behind it.
    I agree that legal action should be taken if the issue is not resolved. This situation has already probably warped Grayson’s worldview, and someone’s got to pay for that.

    Like

    Posted by rami ungar the writer | March 24, 2014, 12:47 pm
  33. You are on the PAGE! Congrats!

    Like

    Posted by Elyse | March 24, 2014, 12:49 pm
  34. I could not agree with you more.

    Like

    Posted by E. | March 24, 2014, 1:15 pm
  35. You are more than correct! I’ve heard jokes about such things you have mentioned as well as about this story, and I personally think his mother should file a law suit against the school. I bet that would ruffle their feathers and make them make better decisions. Nine years old or not, he is still a citizen and is being denied his rights of freedom of expression that comes from the first amendment and also is stepping on the toes of the fourteenth. A person cannot be denied the right of life, liberty, or property. Which allows him to wear anything he feels if that is what makes him happy. Also, there is no such thing as a trigger for bullying because growing up I was bullied and its just children evil way of picking at what they don’t have. Maybe the children and administration should be made to wear carebear backpacks and let them be picked on and say,”your backpack is just a trigger. ” HA! I bet things would so not be the same. Where’s the equality people? It’s really sad what some of educational systems focus on. No need to even wonder what is being taught because it’s showing!

    Like

    Posted by 7survivor12 | March 24, 2014, 1:16 pm
  36. Reblogged this on 7survivor12's Blog.

    Like

    Posted by 7survivor12 | March 24, 2014, 1:17 pm
  37. It’s the bully who got the problem, not the victim.Be yourself, they say. But if you are, then that’s wrong too.What a boring world this would be if everyone would be the same. The saddest thing is, that even adults bully in work places.

    Like

    Posted by Mia | March 24, 2014, 1:24 pm
  38. As a parent and a person who was bullied in school, I am shaking my head at the stupidity of the school. When are we going to punish the bullies? Thankfully, in my case, the bully was punished and never bothered me again. If my daughter is punished for being bullied, I will let the school know what I think of them.

    Like

    Posted by Jay Dee | March 24, 2014, 2:05 pm
  39. Amen! And I hadn’t even thought about the precedent setting. My goodness that is terrifying.

    Like

    Posted by Rii the Wordsmith | March 24, 2014, 2:25 pm
  40. Not only is the school responsible for showing children that it isn’t right to bully others because they are different, but the bullies’ parents should be ashamed for the behavior of their children. How many parents did anything to correct that behavior? Punishments at home can often be far more effective than expulsion or other punishment methods that schools can enact. If my child were remotely involved in this behavior, you can bet that I would have them write an apology to the child, which they would read, in public, to the bullied child in the range of my hearing. I can’t make them be friends, but I can make sure my child understands the importance of kindness to others. Kids are cruel, but the manner of their cruelness they learn from somewhere. I don’t have any children, so I’m not really qualified to make the aforementioned comments. However, I am part of a preschool system, and I do know the incredible effect teaching empathy has. I often respond to verbal bullying with: “How would you feel if someone said that to you?” Preschoolers are a little less set in their ways though. I just think that the school did wrong, but also the parents should be involved and not tolerate their children bullying others.

    My heart goes out to Grayson and his family. Also, my husband and I both watch and enjoy MLP:FiM. I think he is too good for that school. Let them have the bullies, how about all the kids that don’t bully go to a school that doesn’t tolerate that stuff and deals with bullies, not punish victims.

    Like

    Posted by signsoflifestirring | March 24, 2014, 2:31 pm
  41. Reblogged this on Mom, Wife, Friend.

    Like

    Posted by gatergirl96 | March 24, 2014, 2:49 pm
  42. You make a valid argument, and I’m glad I don’t live in Buncombe County. But on the bright side, Grayson sounds like a level-headed little guy who most likely won’t suffer any lasting symptoms. I know it sounds careless, but sometimes kids bully each other. I’m no fan of victim abuse, but I want my kids to learn to defend themselves against their peers, while they’re still kids.

    Like

    Posted by christi74 | March 24, 2014, 3:14 pm
    • Defending yourself is a vital skill to have, but when it’s you against many it’s tough to do, if not impossible.

      Like

      Posted by Twindaddy | March 24, 2014, 3:16 pm
      • I am not defending the bullies, but isn’t learning how to defend yourself against many the point? What I mean is, if the school board had stayed out of it, how would the kid have handled it on his own? From his comments, it seemed like he was doing an okay job, to me. He did not have a victim’s mentality.

        Like

        Posted by christi74 | March 24, 2014, 5:40 pm
        • Who knows? If you read some of the comments here, you can see the long-lasting effects bullying can have on the victim. Trying to stop it all by yourself normally doesn’t work no matter what you try.

          Like

          Posted by Twindaddy | March 24, 2014, 5:42 pm
          • I am absolutely not disputing that bullying is bad and can have lasting negative effects. I’m just think that the best way to ensure that kids don’t get a victim’s mentality is to teach them the emotional skills to deal with bullies. I also think that schools and parents have a huge responsibility to prevent physical violence — that’s really the problem here, not the kids’ teasing or the pony backpack itself.

            Like

            Posted by christi74 | March 24, 2014, 5:50 pm
          • Yeah, the school (at least in this scenario) is a HUGE problem here, if not the biggest one.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | March 24, 2014, 6:05 pm
  43. This article reminds me of potty training.

    What I mean to say is that most parents use diapers for their children, and so most children get used to expelling their waste straight into their britches. Then, when they’re old enough, the parents “break” them of their will and their pants-soiling ways via potty training. This extends to other behaviors as well, with children regularly being pushed to conform to their parents’ wishes. In other words, what is rewarded is conforming behavior, so conforming to a social norm or social pressures from peers becomes a natural course of action later on, during middle school or high school or college (who knows how far it extends into someone’s life?).

    And, of course, these same parents sometimes wish that their children weren’t so… well, influenced by outside forces. “Stand up to your peers, your friends, the bullies,” say the parents. But the course of action they’ve taught their own children for so long that it’s now ingrained, is one of compliance, not independence. Perhaps this is why the bullies are rewarded, and the victim blamed—because the social pressures and ingrained behavior is to conform rather than to stand out. The logic is, “If you’re not conforming, then you’re the problem.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Posted by The Childlike Author | March 24, 2014, 3:21 pm
  44. OMG…not done reading yet but this: “What the actual fuck?”…pretty much sums up this story better than anything else I’ve seen. …and I’m not done yet. Hold up.

    Wow. That was so good TD. I couldn’t have expressed my outrage about this situation any better. Your thoughts were so poignant and right on. I wanted to comment on this whole situation but didn’t know how to say exactly how pissed off I was/am…I’ll be sharing this one.

    Congrats Twindaddy!!!!! You deserve this.

    Like

    Posted by Dawn | March 24, 2014, 4:33 pm
  45. I’m almost 50, and I still remember going to my teachers repeatedly as a small, frighteningly smart, terribly bullied child, begging for help, and having NOTHING AT ALL done. I can’t believe how many times I left notes on their desks saying, “Please, please, please help me, I can’t make this stop.” I can still remember sitting in front of one teacher’s desk and having her tell me that I needed to “bring [my]self down to their level.”

    I think steam came out of my mother’s nose when I went home and told her that. That may actually have been the final straw now that I think about it, because my mom and dad got me out of that school not long after, as soon as they were financially able to do so.

    I will never, ever forget being 6, 7, 9, 10 years old, begging the adults around me to make the torture stop, and having them shrug at me. To this day, forty years later, I still remember those teachers, their names, their faces, and I have never forgiven them. They were evil.

    It’s amazing how the qualities that make one a successful adult — individuality, uniqueness, the willingness to be oneself openly, the willingness to ask the questions that no one else thinks of — are the things that will get one shredded in school.

    Like

    Posted by fireandair | March 24, 2014, 4:44 pm
  46. That’s just an example of how s*** life is, I got bullied for being a tech geek but I don’t give a f***, I’m happy to be different! just like that kid.

    Like

    Posted by Matthew | March 24, 2014, 4:45 pm
  47. What? Once again I realized that we are still living in stone age! That’s so regressive not using little bit of brain before blaming the child; this whole bullying thing makes me angry.

    Like

    Posted by Archita | March 24, 2014, 6:09 pm
  48. Reblogged this on Tsel One Art, Designs, Murals and Apparel and commented:
    I like the new version of MLP…straight fresh!!

    Like

    Posted by Tsel One | March 24, 2014, 6:27 pm
  49. This is absolutely horrible. The mother should take action. I see it my kids’ school. It’s all about conformity and not rocking the boat and to do what’s easiest for the majority of people involved. I don’t understand it and it makes me sick and uncomfortable. It’s good of you to speak out on this. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

    Like

    Posted by Amy Reese | March 24, 2014, 6:33 pm
  50. This story is a clue about the “bullying phenomenon” though. It gives us the clue, the hint about where it begins.

    It begins at home, and at school, with the adults.

    Bullying is nothing but punishing, just a little outside of proper context, is all, but that’s what it is. The parents do it, and they teach it, and in this case, also the teachers and the administrators.

    I’m sorry to tell, you, but if your answer was going to be “punish the bullies,” well, then you’re never going to solve it either.

    Like

    Posted by neighsayer | March 24, 2014, 6:42 pm
    • I’d rather the schools punish them, still. Maybe if the parents don’t get through the school will.

      Like

      Posted by Twindaddy | March 24, 2014, 8:14 pm
      • I didn’t mean that the parents were “just bullies.” I meant that punishing IS bullying and we all do it, we all teach it. If anyone thinks they can punish their kids and still somehow be FIGHTING bullying, they’re blind to what’s really going on. And it will never be solved.

        Like

        Posted by neighsayer | March 24, 2014, 9:39 pm
        • Exactly how to propose we solve it?

          Like

          Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 6:54 am
          • I propose we stop thinking that we can solve our violence problems with violence, that every time we punish, we teach that hurting people (or otherwise making their lives more miserable) is the RIGHT thing to do, even when it is exactly the opposite thing we’re trying to teach. Actions speak louder than words, and punishment actually CAUSES bad behaviour. TEACH, with words and by example. Punishing is not teaching.

            Like

            Posted by neighsayer | March 25, 2014, 10:03 am
          • When I say punish, I’m not referring to spankings, or paddling, or anything like that.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 10:08 am
          • “When I say punish, I’m not referring to spankings, or paddling, or anything like that.”

            – thing is, there is no other kind of punishing, it always comes down to some sort of force. Otherwise, how do you impose a punishment if the kid doesn’t want it? All punishments are imposed, and therefore backed up by force. Otherwise, why does a “bad” kid take his punishment?

            This is exactly the problem: people are causing the bullying, and they don’t even seem to know they’re punishing. They seem to think the kids are volunteering for it.

            After that, we’re surprised to hear that they think this bullied kid is volunteering for it.

            So we think, say, a grounding is non-violent punishing. But how is it enforced? Why does a grounded kid stay home? Because he knows that if he doesn’t it gets worse. He knows that it will become violent at some point if he doesn’t comply.
            Do you deny this?

            Like

            Posted by neighsayer | March 25, 2014, 7:35 pm
          • Yes, I deny that.

            Firstly, not all parents use physical discipline. Secondly, not all kids require physical force to accept being grounded. Lastly, you assert that bullying and punishing are the same thing. They are not. Punishing is used when someone has broken rules, the goal being to teach said person what theyve done is unacceptable. Bullying is harming someone just for the sake of doing so.

            Punishment serves a purpose. Bullying does not. Do you believe a man incarcerated for murder is being bullied?

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 7:55 pm
          • open your mind, TD! Kids know that if they refuse the non-physical discipline that it will escalate. What would you do, you ground your kid, and he says “fuck you” and walks past you and out the door? Double his sentence, that he isn’t serving in the first place? Admit it: if the kid is obstinate, things will end up physical. He knows it, even if you don’t.

            When it works, it’s because the kid knows in the here and now that it will only get worse for him – or he just knows unconsciously because he’s been trained in his babyhood or toddlerhood.

            Bullying is just like punishing. They have a “reason” – the backpack, remember? They lay it out just like punishment: “you did this (brought the faggy backpack), so you get this (some kind of pain or misery). That’s punishment, the only difference is we don’t agree with the reason.

            Like

            Posted by neighsayer | March 25, 2014, 8:28 pm
          • Actually, when a child in my care has scoffed at his discipline in the past and walked right out the door the police were called. But, I digress…

            It’s obvious we’re not going to agree. I do see that there are similarities to bullying and punishing, as you suggest, but the difference to me is in the goal of each action.

            So I think I’ll just agree to disagree here, but I do thank you for reading and for the discussion. And for keeping it civil, which happens all too infrequently.

            Take care.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | March 26, 2014, 8:19 am
          • fair enough . . .

            Like

            Posted by neighsayer | March 26, 2014, 9:50 am
      • I can’t stop thinking about this post and the comments, so I’m going to write another bullying post myself. I won’t mention your name, or the name of the post, but if you see it, you’ll know I’m referring to it, so I thought I’d warn you first. It won’t be personal, or rough, but I will be complaining about the commentary by way of making the same points I made to you here . . .

        Like

        Posted by neighsayer | March 30, 2014, 7:52 pm
  51. Reblogged this on Dylan Grace and commented:
    It’s like, just last year everything was “anti-bullying” & now it’s “anti-my little pony” and it serves him right? I don’t think so.

    Like

    Posted by missdylang | March 24, 2014, 7:31 pm
  52. Stuff like this is what makes me scared out of my mind for when C is school-aged. Granted, we won’t live in North Carolina by then, but I don’t think it’s a NC or even a Southern thing at all to bully boys and girls who don’t fit neatly into the prescribed roles society has demarcated for them. Thank you so much for writing this, TD. I really hope it finds its way to all the parties involved.

    Like

    Posted by The Waiting | March 24, 2014, 7:36 pm
  53. I agree with you, this is wrong.

    Like

    Posted by tessthedancer | March 24, 2014, 7:51 pm
  54. I got bullied a lot as a kid. Wasn’t so bad. Might have even helped to develop my chronic depression and ever-present sense of complete worthlessness. Really, not so bad a life to lead. Hell, I’m pretty sure I did deserve it. I was a bit different from the other kids. Always looking around into space. Staring at trees too intently. Walking slowly with my head down, thinking. All my fault. I just wish the teachers had punished me, too. That would have been nice. Serves me right for being odd. I got off easy.

    *shakes fists of rage*

    Like

    Posted by Humans Are Weird | March 24, 2014, 8:42 pm
  55. This was a fantastic post! The whole situation is so sad. And I can’t help but wonder if our litigious society somehow played a role in the school telling Grayson not to bring the backpack. We have taken so much power away from our teachers and administrators, many are afraid to take any action against students anymore, even when they are right to do so. But this can’t go on. As you said, “They just did a monumental disservice to every child involved.”

    Also, super big huge congrats on the FP!!!!! I’ve been trying to catch up on reading blogs tonight, and was happy to see the honor bestowed on you!

    Like

    Posted by AreYouFinishedYet | March 24, 2014, 10:23 pm
  56. I HATE the word ‘trigger’ – everything is can be a ‘trigger’ for someone else. That little boy was WRONGED – and that school should be ashamed.

    I recently read an article about kids having their lunch meals taken from them and THROWN IN THE GARBAGE b/c their parent’s were behind paying for school lunch (and many of those kids were getting their meals at a discount because their parent’s were struggling to pay). So we decided to SHAME the kids, WASTE food and be adult bullies. Don’t even get me started on how much that angers me. People are fucking morons sometimes. The ones we trust to ‘do the right thing’ -

    Like

    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | March 24, 2014, 10:28 pm
  57. That poor little boy and his family. How horrible the school has chosen to deal with this situation with no compassion or tact and letting this little boy think HE is doing something to encourage bullying. Sadly if these bullies are not targeting him they will find another person to bully. The school will then have another family and child to tell they are doing the wrong thing to. It baffles me how people that work with (and for presumably) children can have this narrow attitude.

    Well done on this post Twindaddy, well written and an important issue. Well deserved FP nod.

    Like

    Posted by Daile | March 24, 2014, 11:29 pm
  58. I don’t blame the kid at all.

    I blame his Mom.

    “Well my son should be able to do WHATEVER he wants!”

    Uh, no – he shouldn’t.

    So he wants to play with My Little Pony dolls, huh? Hey, great. But don’t send him off into the world with them and expect that everyone is going to see your kid with the same non-judgmental eyes you see him with, ’cause that ain’t going to happen, lady!

    Honestly, letting him go to school in a My Little Pony backpack? Full of those scented, effeminate little things? This is bullshit.

    Every kid gets picked on at some point in their lives, and you know what? It toughens them up. That Mom is probably cold-calling Hard Copy, Dateline, Dr. Phil, and every other media outlet under the sun AT THIS VERY MOMENT, in an effort to milk this publicity for all it’s worth.

    My Dad always said to me, “Son, you can do ANYTHING you want in life…but there will be consequences.”

    Want to hold up a bank? Go for it. But be prepared for the consequences.

    Want to (this example from Bill Burr) run through Central Park at 2:00am on a Friday night, dressed like Liberace and a few bags full of cash? Maybe screaming, “LOOKIT ALL THE MONEY I’VE GOT! JUST LOOK AT IT!”

    Perfectly within your rights to do so.

    …but be prepared for what might happen.

    And when it does, don’t fuckin’ whine about it.

    If this were my kid, I’d buy him the toys if he wanted them.

    But I’d ALSO tell him, “Son, you know I love you…but if you bring these things to school, you’re going to get your ass kicked and the kids will NOT forget. Not until you’ve graduated high school will you live this down. Still want to bring them? What’s easier, making the WHOLE WORLD change for you, or just towing the line until you get through the hell that is elementary school? Yeah, that’s what I thought, big guy. Now take your G.I Joe backpack and get out of here.”

    Like

    Posted by The Offensive Playbook | March 25, 2014, 12:15 am
    • So, in your opinion, it’s perfectly acceptable to gang up and kick the ass of someone who sports something you don’t like? Nice.

      Like

      Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 7:02 am
      • No, totally unacceptable.

        Totally predictable? Yes.

        Both parties need to show greater responsibility. No one can do exactly as they please. Unfortunately that’s the world we live in.

        Like

        Posted by The Offensive Playbook | March 25, 2014, 7:04 am
        • Sadly, yes, it is predictable. But it will never change unless we do something about it. Nobody should have to live in fear or be mistreated because they like something someone else doesn’t.

          Like

          Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 8:22 am
          • Sounds like we are in agreement.

            My argument is simply this: if you make up the extreme minority who defiantly goes their own way, despite what you know will happen, it’s irresponsible to act the victim.

            In the case of this little boy, he’s too young to have known what would happen; and for that reason I blame his mother, for knowingly sending him into the gauntlet she knew was waiting for him in an elementary school…in the SOUTH.

            That’s what should make your blood boil, not the fact people are intolerant.

            Like

            Posted by The Offensive Playbook | March 25, 2014, 9:07 am
          • I don’t agree with that at all. People being intolerant is the main problem here. We all need to realize that we’re not all the same. We’re not all robots. We all like different things and that’s okay.

            Maybe the mom did warn him. Maybe she gave him that choice. The kids who bullied likely learned the behavior from their parents and people like that are emboldened in groups.

            It’s not the mother’s fault a group of kids singled out her child because of a backpack (of all things). Likely all those kids learned from somewhere else that My Little Pony is a thing for girls.

            I’m not upset at the mom, Grayson, or even the bullies, at this point. I’m upset that the school essential sided with the bullies and told Grayson that HE’S the one who needs to change what he’s doing even though it’s the children bullying him who are in the wrong.

            Is it surprising that Grayson is being singled out because of a backpack that’s for girls? No. Is it right? No. Did the school capitalize on an opportunity to teach young, impressionable kids that tolerance for those who are different is much more preferable than getting violent with people who are different? No. And that’s why I’m upset.

            I’m fed up with intolerance. To each their own.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 9:17 am
          • Your argument hinges on some unrealistic premises.

            First, it’s fine and dandy to strive for such a utopian ideal, but frankly, it’s naive. Think John and Yoko’s pretentious “War is over! …if you want it” stuff. It ignores inimitable mitigating factors.

            Also, these are goddamn children. It’s through these episodes of childishness that they are able to flesh out the strong from the week, the smart from the dumb, etc. The bullies will likely repent their former ways as they grow into adults, while the bullied will be all the more savvy. The ones who do as they please at that age regardless of the ramifications are the future CEOs of Microsoft, Apple, you name it.

            Also, you’re giving Grayson here the benefit I the doubt simply because he IS the underdog, let’s face it. You admit that this stuff enrages you, probably because you suffered something similar. This emotional reaction is to your detriment. Look at it critically as I am and you’ll be the better for it.

            How do you know that if all but one boy played with My Little Pony toys in his class he wouldn’t gang up on HIM for being the odd one out with his “gay GI Joe action figure”?

            Like

            Posted by The Offensive Playbook | March 25, 2014, 11:51 am
          • I don’t know that, but if that were the case it wouldn’t be right either. There’s no rational excuse for bullying. Maybe the ideal that world free of bullying is naive, but I’d still like to hope that one day happens. And just because it seems unrealistic doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

            And in looking at this situation critically, I’d say the only thing Grayson is learning is that people who break the rules get away with it (future CEO’s, as you said) and that he is completely alone. Maybe you see that as a good thing. I don’t.

            No I was never bullied as I child, but that has no bearing on how I feel about it. The school fucked up in their handling of this. And it is BECAUSE these are children that it’s all the more reason to handle it right. They are young and impressionable right now and what they learn now will stay with them a long time.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 12:24 pm
          • You continually put words in my mouth / misinterpret what I’ve said.

            I said the future giants are the ones who are made to endure, in most cases.

            I have no choice but to conclude that you are ill-equipped to engage in a proper discussion. Shame.

            I’ve said all along that I’m not agreeing with what the bullies did. However, if you own My Little Pony dolls, and you likely do, I hope someone destroys them.

            Ha ha!

            Like

            Posted by The Offensive Playbook | March 25, 2014, 12:30 pm
          • What a grown up response. If I was putting words into your mouth, that would be why. You think just like the children bullying someone with a My Little Pony backpack. “Oh, it’s okay to like them, just don’t tell anyone.” How mature. And then this gem, “Oh, it’s the mom’s fault the kid’s getting bullied.” Like she forced the kids at school to do it.

            Now I have no choice but to conclude that you have the vocabulary of an educated individual, but the reasoning skills of toddler.

            Shame.

            Like

            Posted by Twindaddy | March 25, 2014, 12:42 pm
  59. Reblogged this on Apps Lotus's Blog.

    Like

    Posted by appslotus | March 25, 2014, 2:08 am
  60. I just wrote a post about victim blaming in sexual abuse and rape cases that I would love to have you read! This is becoming more and more of an issue in our culture and definitely needs to be addressed.

    http://Www.anolivedaily.com

    Like

    Posted by anolivedaily | March 25, 2014, 2:54 am
  61. Reblogged this on sotonz's Blog.

    Like

    Posted by sotonz | March 25, 2014, 3:32 am
  62. Wow! This is actually happening in my home town in the very school system I was raised. I am currently dealing with grown adults who are charged with a great deal of responsibility, but don’t any leadership skills. Sounds like the same issue here. Persons taking a position of authority without the character traits needed for the job. Anyone can follow, leading is hard and often frustrating and painful. If you take a position that requires you to do what is right, then do it, or resign.

    Like

    Posted by thoughts along the way | March 25, 2014, 7:47 am
  63. I think this is entirely ironic considering there is a nation wide anti-bullying campaign going on. And this story hits home because I was bullied too when I was a kid, it could have been worse and I was lucky I walked away with only emotional and psychological scaring.
    But I totally agree that the wrong course of action was taken. If no one ever tells the bullies that what they’re doing is wrong, be it the parents or the school, nothing will change. Stand up to the bullies once and hopefully if a strong impression is made, you’ll never have to fight this battle with them again. *Reference to Enders Game*.

    Like

    Posted by kaitlynspurlock | March 25, 2014, 9:53 am
  64. I also was terribly shocked when I read this article last week! I had the “WHAT THE FUCK?!” reaction as millions of other people around the world, and I also wrote about it. What most worries me is not only the blaming of the victim, but also the message the school is giving to his students ( students that are going to build the future of our society):
    “Hide yourself if you don’t conform to the standards” that is terrible and I would say, it violates human rights. I don’t want to sound exaggerated, but schools should teach and apply tolerance and respect, and this school sure is not doing that.

    Like

    Posted by landofralou | March 25, 2014, 10:04 am
  65. And black boys are killed for wearing a hoodie or playing music too loud. They were blamed for someone else’s use of force.

    Like

    Posted by maggiezee | March 25, 2014, 10:13 am
  66. And poor people are blamed for being poor,

    Like

    Posted by maggiezee | March 25, 2014, 10:15 am
  67. It’s so backward. So ignorant. And so pervasive.

    Like

    Posted by Brenda | March 25, 2014, 2:25 pm
  68. I saw about this via facebook and agree that it is completely the wrong way to handle the situation. Having been bullied at school myself (both in primary and high school) for being “different”, I can confirm that it doesn’t matter if you try to conform or not, if you’ve been bullied once they’ll somehow seek you out. It’s like there’s a code for the bullies. There should be support for the victims, but there should also be support for the bullies, to find out why they feel it’s OK to pick on the different kid, and to find out why they have to pick on someone else to feel good about themselves. Because there’s always a reason, which is usually something to do with the situation that the bully is in, rather than it being the fault of the victim.

    Like

    Posted by faithhopechocolate | March 25, 2014, 3:11 pm
  69. Totally agree. Here’s hoping the situation will be rectified properly now this story is in the media.

    Like

    Posted by SleepyDragon1320 | March 25, 2014, 7:41 pm
  70. Reblogged this on The Writer Monkey.

    Like

    Posted by aubreyglantz | March 26, 2014, 10:13 am
  71. I’m sorry for your troubles. God will bring you through. Follow Christ. Fight hatred with Love, not more hate. That’s the only way to truly win and survive this crazy world. Peace.

    Like

    Posted by robertlampros | March 26, 2014, 12:43 pm
  72. This is appalling. As someone who has been in the victim’s seat, I can honestly say that it is a terrible thing to be blamed for the crimes of another person. As if any child asked to be hurt, abused or assaulted. If those children were adults, then they would face criminal charges for assault and battery. Just because they are children, that doesn’t make physically and emotionally harming another person any less criminal.

    Like

    Posted by helenjain21 | March 26, 2014, 3:26 pm
  73. I wonder if Grayson’s mom would allow him into the ocean covered in chum just because he wanted to wear it? Would she let him wear an “I hate niggers” shirt to Harlem? How about a more realistic twist, such as suggesting he take the My Little Pony backpack to a job interview?

    These things are all bad ideas. They all reside well within his rights as an American citizen to do so, but simply put, the laws of social interaction to not allow such. Most groups of people will forgive and overlook members who are a little different, often describing the individual as eccentric. A fine line exists, however, between eccentric and deviant. When a male assumes feminine attributes, such as wearing a little girls backpack, his classmates label him as deviant and single him out for ridicule. This is called sanctioning. It’s normal and it is how social creatures reinforce behavioral boundaries. Its unfortunate that the kid is not being taught how to get by in the world. If he wants to wear the backpack to school, he needs to accept ramifications of his choice and stop whining like a little bitch.

    I’d wear that backpack though. Somebody would pick on me for sure. If I cowered a little, it would get really bad. Then, when I beat that dirtbag half to death with a chair leg and a piece of electrical cord, no one will feel sorry for him and I’ll get to take his lunch money for the rest of the school year.

    I have a shirt with Chuck Norris and a unicorn on it. I wear it to work. I work in construction. When someone talks shit about it, I don’t hesitate to behave in an overtly aggressive manner. If you want to wear a shirt with a unicorn on it, you have to be willing to throw a telephone or “accidentally” fire a nail gun towards another person. It’s called defending yourself.

    Men learn to stand up for themselves. Whiny little bitches tell their mommies.

    Like

    Posted by Jason P. Brennar | March 26, 2014, 3:34 pm
  74. I heard about this on our local news yesterday (WBIR Knoxville). I am shocked as anyone about this. I have to say that if I was in school, I,would’ve probably joined in; kids can be cruel you know. I had cruelty inflicted on me, and I inflicted much cruelty on others as well.

    But, kids being kids aside, where were the ADULTS in this situation? They should have been protecting this boy, and punishing the bullies. But, as a victim of bullying myself (at the hands of football jocks on a championship AAAAA high school team), I guess it’s all about which side the school official’s bread is buttered on! They take action only if it’s expedient for them to do so. I bet the resulting media attention will make Buncombe County school officials recant their asinine stance in a hurry!

    Like

    Posted by JusticeLivesNot | March 26, 2014, 7:15 pm
  75. I don’t think the contested concept of “victim blaming” should even have to apply to 9-year kids. The adult world has an absolute duty to protect kids from harmful situations. Adults can be expected to understand that making bad choices often does influence probability of suffering an adverse event; nor is acknowledging this fact a form of “victim blaming” since no license to perpetrate wrong is granted thereby. However, none of this applies to young kids going to school. I think the parents fully justified in going to court if the school will not remedy the situation.

    Like

    Posted by Galaxian | March 26, 2014, 7:46 pm
  76. Schools are under this ever-increasing pressure of assessment and accountability. Sometimes, it seems as if that is all that matters. As a teacher of 24 years, I have often heard other teachers and administrators say, “We don’t have time for this” when an issue of student behavior occurs. This means that we need to cover the material we need to cover and get the kids ready for the standardized tests, and there isn’t time for anything else. It is sad when assessment data and NCLB/ESEA policies take priority over values education and character development. I agree that this principal was lazy in the decision-making process, more than likely evaluating the situation and thinking, “We don’t have time for this.”

    Like

    Posted by th3bak3rman | March 26, 2014, 10:36 pm
  77. Thank you! I was talking about this story also on my blog. This is crazy that victims get hit twice: once by the actual culprit and then another time by the institution/society.

    Like

    Posted by murdocksgirl | March 27, 2014, 7:28 pm
  78. Totally agree. I just read about Iranian woman that killed a guy in defense as he tried to rape her. She was just sentenced to death, she’ll be hung. Now we look at those countries and think whaaaat! ? Yet our own countries taking the same turn for the worse and people let it. Kids need to obey adults, this boy’s parents should do something, especially about the school’s officials. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    Posted by heavenlyinspirationtoday | March 31, 2014, 9:37 pm
  79. Reblogged this on appledore18.

    Like

    Posted by appledore18 | April 2, 2014, 3:59 am
  80. That is outrageous. Pink isn’t actually a color just for girls. My Little Pony is not just for girls. That district should get reported, for sure. Seriously, you are right. This district doesn’t care about saftey.

    Like

    Posted by motobug the ultimate lifeform | April 2, 2014, 9:18 pm
  81. Reblogged this on jazilnihab.

    Like

    Posted by jazilnihab | May 5, 2014, 1:27 am
  82. Reblogged this on Earlyrose and commented:
    So relevant to why I’m homeschooling. I’m tired if being blamed and punished for other children’s bullying. My son is awesome. It’s the bullies parents that should have to answer and be ashamed.

    Like

    Posted by earlyrose | May 19, 2014, 1:46 pm
  83. Reblogged this on The Angel Above Us and commented:
    Im a brony and I’m proud! We shouldn’t be shamed for what we love!

    Like

    Posted by rainbowpaintergirl123 | May 22, 2014, 2:17 pm

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  1. Pingback: Blaming the Victim Mindset | theauthorwhoknows - March 26, 2014

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