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You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry


You’ve been warned.

I realize that this will be my third post today and that is completely abnormal for me, but I need to unload. I know I’m stressing the belt around your email account’s waste, but I don’t care.

Spider-man not giving a Fuck

As most of you deduced from a poem I published last week, Superbitch moved out. Despite both of our well intentions, we just couldn’t reignite the flame between us. I was saddened by this, and perhaps irrationally bitter at times, but I’m okay with it. We tried and it didn’t work. Things didn’t get ugly and we’ve gone our separate ways.

So what better time is there than just going from a dual income household to a single income household for car troubles? (That’s a rhetorical question, Maphia. Keep up with me.) As I drove to work last Thursday there were important parts clanking around whenever I turned my vehicle. I consulted an expert (me) and came to the conclusion that this needs to be looked at pretty damned quickly. So I took my car to Midas (big mistake, Indy!) so they could have the pleasure of ripping money I don’t have out of my ass.

Turns out the parts knocking around were very important. I had somehow broken the strut mounts and axle on my passenger-front side. I don’t recall hitting any leviathan potholes or running over any portly pedestrians, nevertheless some ruthless force of nature severed these “durable” parts. The kind, goofy looking Midas man told me it would be $650 for parts and labor. I bent over and took it like a man.

Last weekend it was just Baby C and I as the twins were with their mother for spring break. Sounds fun, but in reality he was getting over a stomach virus and either had a cold or allergies because he had a runny nose all weekend. Sick baby=cranky baby. Fuck. We did have some fun over the weekend, but there was also some times where I wanted to run away or get drunk. Then there were other times when I wanted to do both simultaneously.

Fastforward to today. Today is supposed to be my day with the twins. I had planned on taking them to see the new Captain America movie tonight. Then an hour before I was supposed to leave I found out that there was to be a conference call I was required to be on which started at the time I normally leave. So 40 minutes into a call that was for sales people (I’m not a sales person) I just left.

Then my day really turned to shit.

About a half mile from work I stopped at a red light. When the light turned green I hit the gas, as most of us are wont to do. The car lurched forward, then there was a loud pop and the car was no longer moving. What ensued was an unfortunate series of stupid events. There was a good samaritan. That was cool. Then there was the redneck tow driver who wouldn’t stop talking and was bitching about hillbillies (um, you are one, dude). Then an EMT and a cop showed up simultaneously because some passerby called in a medical emergency. Sigh…

Long story short, the axle that had just been installed just 5 days ago popped out of the transmission because the clip that is supposed hold it in was bent too far. Nice. So not only am I driving my mother’s car for now, I’m currently out $104 for the tow (which they had better reimburse me for or I will cut a bitch), I didn’t get to see Captain America, and I didn’t even get to see my children because all this wasn’t taken care of until about an hour ago.

And to top it all off, when I got home I found out that the light in the fucking fridge is out. Fuck.

So I’m pissed off, y’all. I am fucking LIVID. This past week and a half has been calamity after fucking calamity. So I just have to say….

fuck you stormtrooper

Fuck you, life!

Aren’t there other motherfuckers (Really WP? You recognize motherfucker as a word but not motherfuckers? FUCK YOU, TOO!) to dick with? You gotta shit on me? Kiss my ass! Fuck off! Bite me! Other angry phrases! Why don’t you go deal these setbacks to those pompous 1% motherfuckers? You know, the assholes who can afford it? Knobgobbler.


Okay. I feel better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. How are you?

PS. Fuck life. Fuck it right up its hairy asshole.

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121 thoughts on “You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry

  1. tough week. tough day. i hope the vent helped. it was pretty good as for as raging vents go. now go have some soothing ice cream. you must be exhausted.


    Posted by icescreammama | April 16, 2014, 8:23 pm
  2. good rant, brother! i hope it helped. i miss ranting on my blog. xox


    Posted by savannah49 | April 16, 2014, 8:41 pm
  3. I’m sorry, TD.


    Posted by 1jaded1 | April 16, 2014, 8:55 pm
  4. Thanks for the warning! I don’t think you expressed your TRUE feelings, just saying… Sorry life sucks right now, hang in there – it has to get better!


    Posted by brickhousechick | April 16, 2014, 9:10 pm
  5. I hesitated to like this… here, I’ll take some of your bad mojo, I drive an import that never breaks down. There, that should about do it. I’ll be lucky to get out of my garage tomorrow morning.


    Posted by Trent Lewin | April 16, 2014, 9:19 pm
  6. I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately. But then I remember that old adage: LIFE SUCKS THEN YOU DIE. So I perk right up.


    Posted by Elyse | April 16, 2014, 9:49 pm
  7. If you can breing yourself to laugh at it, it helps.
    Or put a brick under a hat on the sidewalk and laugh at the first person that tried to kick it.
    Either one…


    Posted by El Guapo | April 16, 2014, 9:58 pm
  8. 1% of people get 40% of all the crap that life thows at the planet. You might just be a part of the wrong 1%.


    Posted by List of X | April 16, 2014, 10:11 pm
  9. If ever there was a company that represented “the huge dick of customer service” George Carlin always talked about, it’s Midas. I learned my lesson from them already when I got their “lifetime brakes” in 2001… then when I went back in 10 years later to get them replaced, they not only charged me, but I wound up paying MORE than I did the first time despite the replacement parts supposedly being “free”. Fuckers….


    Posted by evilsquirrel13 | April 16, 2014, 10:16 pm
  10. Life has a hairy asshole? With dingle berries no less…


    Posted by Marie | April 16, 2014, 10:21 pm
  11. This sucks sweaty rhino balls, TD. Can I have a try at that hairy Life asshole with sloppy, violent seconds?


    Posted by BrainRants | April 16, 2014, 10:30 pm
  12. Sorry things are sucking lemons right now. That’s a bad week.


    Posted by behindthemask | April 16, 2014, 10:49 pm
  13. Three posts in one day??? I can barely get one out every 10 days. I’m totally impressed…and also sorry that you had this expensive car drama, missed the Capt. America movie, and had to ride with rednecks. Totally shitty day for you – I hope tomorrow is better. Up side: if the car breaks tomorrow it’s your mom’s and she has to pay – yay! I’m kidding. Seriously I hope they pay your tow fees and fix your $10 shit part for free so you can keep it moving (literally).


    Posted by mollytopia | April 17, 2014, 12:42 am
  14. I’m so sorry. Car problems are the pits, and then on top of everything else you are dealing with. Tomorrow will be better. You can still see Captain America tomorrow or another day. It will still be there. It’s a good movie that will take your mind off of things. You should go see it, definitely! As far as cars go, it’s one of those things, we have choice and have to fix! I have about $1300 worth of repairs I’m putting off and crossing my fingers. I hope that makes you feel better. Hang in there, man!


    Posted by Amy Reese | April 17, 2014, 2:05 am
    • Oh, I know I can go see the movie any time, but I don’t want to see it without the twins, who I won’t see again until Monday because this is their weekend with their mom. Just an all around shitty day.

      $1300?? Ugh. I still have another $1000 I just can’t afford to do right now, and I hope those parts last until I can. Cars are so evil yet so necessary.


      Posted by Twindaddy | April 17, 2014, 8:23 am
  15. Would a virtual hug do? That’s all I’ve got. That and a car that doesn’t go too well either. Feeling your pain and frustration. x


    Posted by scottishmomus | April 17, 2014, 5:08 am
  16. (((HUGS))) :D


    Posted by merbear74 | April 17, 2014, 5:10 am
  17. Car shit absolutely sucks. And money is the root of all fucking evil. That is all.
    Oh….I’m sorry. Hope the rant helped a bit.


    Posted by Deanna Herrmann | April 17, 2014, 5:29 am
  18. Three in one day! That’s a hat trick, innit?

    This is terrible news and I’m sorry to hear it. If I had a big bag o’ cash, I’d buy you a new car. I would! I’m taking my car in tomorrow. New head gasket, water pump and front left axial. $2,600. Still cheaper than a new car.

    All I can say about the baby is hang in there. It gets better. You are being tested.


    Posted by Exile on Pain Street | April 17, 2014, 7:26 am
  19. I get this, truly I do. Sometimes life simply sucks the life and good out of us. Rant away if it helps. I am sorry you didn’t see your children or Captain America.


    Posted by Valentine Logar | April 17, 2014, 8:05 am
  20. Dammit! I’m sorry…if it helps, we are having a resurgence of winter wonderland to the epic proportions…and my dog vomited all over my clean laundry today. There. All better.


    Posted by Kayjai | April 17, 2014, 8:14 am
  21. I’m sorry TD.
    I truly did appreciate your rant, though. As a suppressed Leave-it-to-Beaver Mama always trying to be perfect…just ONCE…wish I had the guts to drop an F-bomb on my blog. You did it for me and I’m rolling on the floor. Laughing with you, so I don’t cry.
    Hang in there! I’m off to read your other two posts :-)


    Posted by MamaMickTerry | April 17, 2014, 8:47 am
  22. Ugh- I feel your car-paying-pain. And then you want to smack all those “look on the bright side of life” people too b/c – well… FUCK. There’s a special place in hell (or even in the boring Heaven where the evangelists go) for mechanics that rip us off and then do shoddy work (and a special place of honor for the great ones that need to clone themselves). I had to replace my transmission because the jackhole at one of those kinds of Midas places failed to put the cap back on after he filled it with fluid and the when the fluid ran out.. ooooooppps…when I went back in state of RAGE – those fuckers had already closed the shop FOREVER. That was a stick-up-the-bum for sure.

    I think this calls for you running around a parking lot screaming as loud as you can until you feel better. And listening to the Dead Kennedys at FULL VOLUME. At least that makes me feel better.


    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | April 17, 2014, 8:58 am
    • Lol. Thanks, Ladycakes. I don’t think Midas is in any danger of closing up shop forever, though, so I’m safe there. That sucks, though, about your transmission.

      Venting via this post seems to have diffused my anger…for now.


      Posted by Twindaddy | April 17, 2014, 9:02 am
  23. P.S. I still like you when you’re angry. And I’m sorry things didn’t work out but I’m glad you parted without hate.


    Posted by Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher | April 17, 2014, 8:59 am
  24. Okay I liked it only to express my fucking solidarity with you. It fucking sucks. Let me know if you wanna talk, I love a good rant and can talk about anything.


    Posted by Pixie Girl | April 17, 2014, 9:32 am
  25. Dude, that really sucks. Like sucks big, sweaty camel balls. I’m so sorry that all the shit hit the fan the same fucking day/week.

    They say bad things happen in 3’s. I think you hit your quota, so you should be good from here on in.

    Then again, who the fuck are “they”?


    Posted by nancytex2013 | April 17, 2014, 10:43 am
  26. So ouch. Everything about this post is painful. Aren’t blogs great? You can just say all that shit that’s causing you pain, and no one can tell you to reign it in because IT’S MY BLOG, STEP OFF BITCH.
    I’ve had a bad week too, so I kind of fist-bumped your letting it fly. I hope, hope things get better for you soon. Car trouble can suck it.


    Posted by Natalie DeYoung | April 17, 2014, 10:48 am
  27. I feel your pain TD. May tomorrow be better.


    Posted by Paul | April 17, 2014, 12:15 pm
  28. Cheer up! Some people don’t like you even when you are happy… and some can’t tell the difference between your good days and bad ones…


    Posted by pouringmyartout | April 17, 2014, 3:05 pm
  29. *waves a cookie* ugh. It doesn’t rain when you have no umbrella; it pours.


    Posted by bardictale | April 18, 2014, 1:12 am
  30. When it rains, it pours, my dear friend. I so loved your unleash of anger and cursing at the end, though. :) That made me laugh. A lot. *hugs* If only it rained money.


    Posted by DaydreamsInWonderland | April 18, 2014, 1:45 pm
  31. I’m glad you’ve let everything out! How’re things now? And I’m sorry that you and superbitch aren’t meant to be compatible.

    Have you been able to take the twins to see the movie yet?


    Posted by faithhopechocolate | April 22, 2014, 8:34 am
  32. OK, now I’m scarred for life (hahahaha)! If this happened to people who could afford it – it wouldn’t be such a catastrophe! They would just get their driver to drop the car off at their local high end auto dealers for repairs & use one of their other 8 vehicles for a few days! You know, you can live without the Porsche for almost a week without going into withdrawal (so I’ve heard)


    Posted by benzeknees | April 24, 2014, 5:16 pm

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