Bigstuph Blog – Thoughts from Steve

Over the last couple of years I have been working in my head what it means to follow the “narrow road”. In Matthew 7:14, Jesus said, “But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few will ever find it.”
I have been really working through this in my head. After reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and Radical by David Platt, along with countless hours in the word of God, I am concerned about how narrow my path really is.

The American dream is in direct contrast to the Gospel message, and yet everyday I feel like I give the majority of my time to the American nightmare.

My wife and kids have made a conscious decision to lighten our dependence on worldly possessions, and yet I don’t feel like my life is difficult. Despite the typical worries of running a business, paying bills, and keeping my head above water, I live a pretty simple life.

I usually take two showers a day, I eat what I want, when I want it, and I usually go back for seconds. As we burn away our dependence on worldly possessions, I still feel like my “moderate” standard of living is still somewhat excessive.

I want God’s eyes. I want to walk this narrow road with the few that God has placed in my life. Something tells me that what I envision as narrow, and what Jesus illustrated are two different things. For the most part people like me. I very rarely feel isolated or persecuted. Although I do feel crazy sometimes as many of my friends have told me that you can’t take Jesus’ words literally…such as love your enemy, bless those that curse you, turn the other cheek, etc.
Jesus may your ways become my ways. May my image of the narrow road be the image that brings your glory in my life.

As much as I want life to evolve around me. Today I realized it does not! Over the last few weeks I have been asking the question, “what does it mean to deny myself?” In order to follow Christ I need to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him. I call myself a Christian, but am I following Christ?
Today it hit me like a ton of bricks. God’s will is opposite of My will. In order to follow Christ, I have to surrender EVERYTHING. My selfish will is built around what I want, how I want the world to see me, as well as how I can control my world.
I am “out of control”. I never have been in control, I just think I am. In order for me to live out my Christian walk, I have to start by denying myself. In order for God’s spirit to work through me, I must deny myself.
Until I deny myself, I am only fooling myself. Today I surrender. Tomorrow I must start over.

What started as a small company initiative at Stuph Clothing has grown to something we never imagined.

In April of 2009 I picked up a package of the Kids Against Hunger meal package while I was in Haiti at the Hands and Feet Project. In November 2009, we opened up our Stuph Clothing offices to become a packaging satellite for Kids Against Hunger. Every morning at 7:59 we gather as a staff to package 864 meals. This daily routine is what helps us focus on leveraging our resources to Change This World.

Little did we know that the 40,000 meals we packaged in November and December would be needed in such a HUGE way once the earthquake hit Haiti in Mid January. Since the devastating earthquake, our Change This World, Inc. non profit, in conjunction with Kids Against Hunger has packaged nearly 400,000 meals and shipped them off to Haiti.

Initially, as a staff at Stuph Clothing we had committed to packaging 350,000 meals in 2010. We decided that every shirt we sell, we will set aside $.25, which provides a meal and safe drinking water. Our partnerships with Kids Against Hunger and Hay’s Pure Water For All Foundation became the foundation in which we would build our Change This World, Inc. initiative.

We had the opportunity to have a 60 day dress rehearsal before we needed to be mobilized to action. In 2010 our satellite for Kids Against Hunger will package 6,000,000. Father, I pray for your direction, blessing, and wisdom as we leverage all we have to Change This World. To God be the Glory.

This year two words come to mind as I look to set goals.
Dependence and Contentment

This year I want to be content and completely dependent on God. Interestingly enough these two characteristics are somewhat “childlike” in their origin.

Lord, Help me to be childlike in my ways in 2010

This week I have been on spring break with my family.  My oldest son Taylor is graduating from high school in a couple of months, so we wanted to make this one special.  God has been doing an amazing work in Taylor’s life.  Over the last 8 months or so, God has become real to me in a whole new way.  Ironically the journey that my oldest son is on parallels my faith journey in so many ways.  I am so very proud of my son.    

A year and a half ago, Taylor suffered a severe head injury playing football.  He was the middle line backer for his high school football team.  At 225 lbs, and a 6 foot frame he was built for football.  In November 2007 he suffered 3 concussions in one football game.  His helmet was defective.  He had no air in his “air cushioning”.  

For nearly two months we watched Taylor struggle to differentiate from his right and left, or even complete simple addition or multiplication.  He was slurring his words, and his short term memory was shot.  We had him tested, and the neurlogical psychologist informed us that in 3 of 4 the measurables, Taylor either did not score at all or was below the 10 percentile.  He had the cognitive ability of pre-schooler in some areas. 

Two months later he began to acclimate back to school, but it was extremely difficult for him to get back to “normal”.  He was unable to take the ACT test for college until the fall of 2008.  He was unable to even finish the test in two sections.  In order for him to concentrate he is on Concerta, which allows him to focus, but it makes him almost OCD (based on the amount he has to take), and as a result he was unable to skip over questions he did not know on the ACT.  

The bottom line we were beginning to determine that there could be some lasting effects of his head injury.  It has been very painful to watch an amazingly gifted student athlete unable to proudly proclaim with confidence where they are going to college.  But I would not trade it for the world.  Taylor has found God in a whole new way as a result of this experience.  He now wants to serve God as a missionary in one of the most persecuted regions of the world.  He told me today that he wants to sell his pick-up truck and buy a beater, so he can give the rest away to those in need.    

This 18 year old young man has found God and has inspired me to give EVERYTHING to follow Christ. Pray for Taylor as he finds his calling.  This week, while hanging with the family at the beach, I have seen him reading the Bible 3-4 times a day.  He can not get enough.  God is filling him up for a reason, a purpose, a calling.  Thank you God how you work.